Sometimes I Wonder

Sometimes I wonder, what if I didn't smile at you that night outside that cafe?

What if I had ignored your existence and just walked by you like you were not even there ?

Sometimes I wonder, what if I didn't follow you or your band on IG ?

What if I choose to be anti-social and private all my social accounts ?

Sometimes I wonder, what if I didn't bother to reply you when you texted me ?

What if I just brush you off and just be strangers like we were after all ?

Sometimes I wonder, what if I didn't bother to actually introduce myself to your face there ?

What if I just said NO, I rather not meet you upfront and just be anti-social.

Sometimes I wonder, what if I didn't "entertain" your late night texts and your random weird hours texts

What if I just ignore it all, never answered to it because after all it was 5am.

Sometimes I wonder, what if I didn't start to come see you by myself?

What if I didn't share all my thoughts and a piece of my life with you.

Sometimes I wonder, why did you even bother if I was missing from the table I sat at.

Or when I walked out of the club to do other things, or if I got mad at you for not eating with me

Sometimes I wonder, why did you flirt with me, why did you reach out and held my hands 

To make me feel something, to make me blush like a little b***h and for what ?

Sometimes I wonder why did you have to get me to admit how much I liked you and tell me you did too

And you don't have the courage to do anything about it knowing you had someone else already

Sometimes I wonder, what was the point of starting something you could never finish.

"The heart wants what it wants" ? Sometimes I wonder how much bullshit you can fake.

Sometimes I wonder, why did you even kiss me the way you did ? 

Were you trying to proof something ? That you could get any women you want without consequences?

Sometimes I wonder, how long more were you going to lie to me about your pregnant girl.

What if I didn't walk away...how long more were you going to drag me down into your web ?

Sometimes I wonder, who the hell are you and which one is the real you ?

Sweet ACE, or the fucked up a*****e you became after I spit the truth.

Sometimes I wonder....Yeah I shouldn't have smile at you at that cafe that first night.