Meaningless Life

Its there again, the cold stares they give me, the disappointment look on their faces

I've been pushed against the wall, far back into the cornered spaces

The fingers were all pointed in my direction, words were exchanged

I look down to my trembling hands, I have to breathe, keep myself sane

They don't know the truth I hide, the reason why I do what was needed of me

To keep everything in place, so that I can keep and have what was meant to be

I silently take everything all in as they torment me with this accusations

Everything inside me is falling apart, my heart drowning with emotions

I want to shout, scream at the top of my lungs till I can finally smile again

Why do I  have to keep enduring all this never ending pain ?

You give me something to hold, to grab on to, to feel an ounce of happiness

Then you take it away in a blink of an eye, and live me again with loneliness

Wait, Wait, Wait...that is all I've been hearing for all my life

But I am ready to leap, more than ready to finally take that dive

I am broken, shattered and at this stage I turn to this thoughts of suicide

Should I live ? Should I vanish from this world..fade away into nothing? I can't decide

I can't go on another day wishing I could just bloody die and just bloody disappear

By a car, by walking across the road, by jumping off high rise building but then I have the fear

Its easier this way, to escape from reality, to get away from it all, to forget my existence

And hope that someday, up above or below, whichever, I'll be at a far distance

Alone, miserable and forgotten, for I don't matter at all, my life is meaningless

But maybe I feel too much, cry too much, think too much...but that's just my weakness