i wish i could honestly say i don't miss you anymore

empty chest hollow eyes / thoughts of us leading to later nights / and even when your bitter words are water filling my lungs i can't bear the weight of missing you

do you know what it is to have an all encompassing love? to have your heartbeat echo his name; to have mottled autumn leaves resemble the color of his hair and know, just know, that no matter how fast those leaves fell with the october breeze their speed will never compare to how quickly you fell for him? to see his eyes in every december grey-blue sky, to see his eyes in every drop of rain that dared to grace your cheekbones like his featherlight palms cupping the sides of your face? to hear wind whistle the syllables that you keep on the tip of your tongue like a prayer; to lay by the window, with your legs on his lap and with exhausted eyes watching the oncoming storm and see hurricanes in his smile? and no matter how tall they grow those trees in the woods near your house will seem stunted when you stand next to him chin held high with pride and adoration. and when you say “i don’t love you anymore” because he deserves so much more, does he wonder what his little siblings will think? does he wonder if they’ll ask about you and what he’ll have to say? but it’s for the best, so you leave with a sad smile and a sadder, softer goodbye. and when you are long gone choked back tears having chased you out the door, hours later he is still picking up the hearts laying shattered on the floor. he pieces his back together painstakingly slow and when he’s finished, he sticks the sharp remains of yours into his pocket. you wonder if he hears it singing praises and hymns of the almost holy love you two shared. funny to think of it in past tense now. i know i said we were done but how can we be when i am still seeing bits and pieces of you everywhere how can we be done when the blood in my veins is pulsing the rhythm of your name how can we be done when i’m an uncompleted puzzle and you’ve stolen the best parts of the picture? long lost encompassing love is now marble crushed to dust and instead of friday sunsets the only thing we share is regret; a knife buried deep into my chest, into the hollow abyss where my heart used to be.

Author's Note

ignore lack of proper capitalization/grammar this was written on my cell