Losing the "Us"

*Adam and Ariel

Adam

I sit in front of Ariel in the empty lunch room. My hands rest on the table seperating us, holding her hands. I remember a few weeks ago she told me my hands were ice cold, as joke about me being a vampire. I just shrugged it off and laughed with her, pretending it didn't hurt me. I've always wondered what she thinks of me. If she thinks I'm the monster that I truly am.

It's late at night. Ariel and I snuck out of our dorms and met each other here in the cafeteria. The lights are off and the dark of the night gives no light through the windows.

The news I have to tell her today is heart breaking and it's killing me to have to tell her.

"Ariel." I say after a long time of silence. I stare down at her hands, rubbing my thumb over her's. "You know I love you, right?"

Ariel looks up to meet my eyes, worry clouding in. She nods.

"And that I would do anything to protect you?" I ask. She nods slowly.

"Adam, what's going on?" She finally asks. Her voice is so pure, so sweet and addicting and soft. I hate doing this to her. "What's happening?"

"Ariel, I - I can't stay here." I say. "Not as long as Eric is still trying to find a reason to kill me."

Ariel just sits there, her face unchanging. Her eyes dart back and forth between mine, her mouth stays shut. I feel my heart shatter into a million pieces. I hate myself for breaking her heart. She's been nothing but good to me, I love her and she loves me and I hate doing this. I'm a monster. Inside and out.

She sighs and looks back down at our intertwined hands, "I understand."

I sigh in relief but it doesn't change things. I still have to leave. Have to leave her, and Rosewood Academy.

"I have to leave. If Eric finds out I told you, he'll kill both of us. It's been too long. I...I'd rather leave than..." I drift off, not able to finish the horrible sentence.

"You'd rather leave me than have me killed." She finishes for me.

I feel my face sadden, "No, no, Ariel. No. I'd want you safe. I'd rather have you safe than have you killed. I don't want to be the reason for your death. I have to leave."

"I get it..." Ariel whispers. I notice her voice crack and tears build up in her eyes. I sigh and stand up, leaving her hands empty on the table. I walk over the table and sit down next to her. She rests her head on my shoulder and I wrap my arms around her.

"Ariel, I'm sorry."

"You can't leave. You can't." Ariel whispers. I feel her tears hit my shoulder and I feel like the left over pieces of my heart were yanked out of me. "Please don't leave me, Adam."

And finally, my own tears break through and we're both crying on each other's shoulders, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Ariel. I have to keep you safe. Even if it means...leaving you."

"Take me with you." She chokes out, her voice muffled by sobs, "Please take me with you."

"Ariel, if Eric follows me -"

"We'll kill him. You can kill him. I know you can -"

"No, Ariel. I can't. He's so much stronger than me. Human me, vampire me, all of it. He could kill both of us in a second. We can't stay together, Ariel. For both our sakes." I say. Tears continue to roll down my cheeks as I clutch Ariel to me. Both our shoulders shake with sobs and whimpers.

Hearing her in this pain kills me. I feel empty already. I feel empty, depressed, broken. And mad. I hate Eric. I always have, I always will. He may have taught me how to survive but he'll never be a friend to me. Never be a companion, a teacher. Never something good. He's evil. He's ruined my whole life.

He's caused so much. My girlfriend's depression, my depression. He did this. He made her cry like this. He's the reason for Ariel being heart-broken.

And the next time I see him, so help me I will kill him. I'll get stronger. I'll even feed on humans if I have to get stronger. It's worth it. Worth the crazed vampire that comes out of me when I feed on human blood. I've been able to control the urge this long but I can't.

If Eric kills Ariel, I'll kill him with my bare hands.

"I'm a monster." I whisper.

"You're not the monster. He is." Ariel immediately responds. We're still holding each other, still crying, still broken. As if we'll never heal.

She means Eric. But I'm just as much of a monster as he is. I'm leaving, I'm literally murdering Ariel's heart, and my own. Eric may be horrible, but I'm even worse.

"It's his fault you're like this. You can't blame yourself." Ariel responds. She pulls back from our long embrace. Her eyes are puffy and pink. Mine probably look the same. I've only seen her cry once, and that was when her brother died. I couldn't stand to see her like this, and it's killing me. Ripping me apart. "So, where are you going?"

"Down south." I respond.

"So you're leaving Port Huron completely but not leaving Michigan?" Ariel asks, wiping away tears.

"I'll leave Michigan if it comes to it. But for now I'm going down south. To Rochester." I feel like the entire world has disappeared and it's just Ariel and I, sitting here in the empty lunch room.

"Why can't I come?" Ariel asks. She's so innocent, so sweet. She's never done anything to me and I'm hurting her beyond words.

"If Eric follows me...Ariel, he'll kill both of us for running away." I say, clutching her hands so tight it hurts. But I don't care, and neither does she.

"You're leaving secretly? Am...am I the only one you're going to tell? What about your mom and dad? Adam, they work here, they have to know. And your brother and sister. Adam..."

"I don't want to hurt anyone else, Ariel. It's too much to see you like this. I can't do that to my family too. If they're going to cry over it, if they're face is going to show what yours is right now, I don't want to be here to see it." I say.

Ariel looks up at me in shock, "Adam, do you have any idea how selfish you sound?"

The look on her face is nearly as bad as the one before. Now, she sees me as a selfish, self-conceited monster. I never wanted to hurt her, never wanted her to see me as a horrible, insane monster.

"You're not going to tell your family you're leaving, just so you won't have to see their reaction." Ariel says. She removes her hands from mine and slides back on the wooden bench, away from me. I reach for her but she pulls away.

I sigh. "Look, can you please just...tell them for me? After I'm gone?" After Ariel frowns at me, I continue, "I just want to get out of here without leaving a line of destruction in my path, ok? Would you rather I just left and didn't tell you at all? Would you rather I left without a word?"

Ariel thinks about it for a minute and then shakes her head and begins to sob again. We both lean forward until our foreheads are resting against each other. I bring my hand to the back of her neck, feeling her pulse, craving blood.

Eric taught me how to control it, but I have to get ahold of myself before I get out of control. I take a deep breath and remove my hand from her neck. Now only the smell of blood is left, but I can block that out.

After Eric turned me, he forced me to stay in his cabin until my cravings went down and he was able to teach me everything about the vampire world so I wouldn't hurt anyone. He taught me how to hunt animals instead of humans, how to switch off my emotions when they magnify, and how to control the urges for human blood.

He told me drinking human blood is wrong and it could kill people. I can't stand hurting anyone, which is why I hate Eric for making me like this. For the first few weeks of being a vampire on my own, I couldn't fight it. I had to feed on humans. But Eric caught me one night while I was feeding on a human and stopped me. He trained me all over again, at his cabin, for weeks until I got it in my mind that I had to feed on animals, not humans.

I've done everything in my power not to feed on humans. With Ariel it's different though. My love for her is so strong, I wouldn't even think twice about not killing her, I've never been drawn to her or my family like I am with any normal human.

It's the vampire emotion-magnified thing kicking in. Love is magnified as well, and that's what keeps me from killing my family and friends. Ariel included.

"When are you leaving?" Ariel asks. "Tonight?"

I hate the answer to her question but I nod, "Yes, tonight. I have to get packing. Come with me?"

Ariel nods and we stand up together and walk out of the lunch room. We walk down the long hallway until we reach the door to the boy's dorms. We sneak in, careful not to wake anyone up, and walk up the stone staircase. My room is the very first room at the top. We walk through the large wooden door of my room, revealing the dimly lit dorm.

My bed sits off to the left, a window straight ahead, and my dresser and desk to the right.

I tug open the top drawer of my dresser. "Ariel, can you get my suitcase from under the bed please?"

I hear her shuffle over the bed and pull out the suitcase. I turn around and take it from her. I pause and look at the bed before me. The place where Ariel and I spent hours sitting on next to each other. The place where Ariel cried on my shoulder when her brother died. The place where we first made love.

It's so heartbreaking leaving her here.

I shake my head clear of the memories and turn around to grab my clothes from each of the drawers and dump them into my suitcase. I go to my desk next and grab my notebook, sketch book, and Zippo lighter and put them in the pocket in my suitcase, then zip it up and put it on my bed.

"Be safe, Adam. Please." Ariel says, leaning against my desk.

I turn to her and nod, "I'll be ok. Tell my family in the morning and whatever happens, don't tell them where I'm going. If Eric threatens you, tell him. I just hope he follows me.."

"Why?" Ariel asks, frowing. She can barely see me in the dark but I can see her perfectly with my vampire sight.

"So he doesn't hurt anyone here." I admit.

Ariel walks across the room to me and wraps her arms around me, "I love you, Adam. If I ever see you again I'll kill you for this."

"I don't blame you." I say. I pull away and kiss her forehead but that isn't enough for her. She kisses me on the lips and I tighten my grip on her. I never want to let her go, I want her to stay with me, stay a part of me, for the rest of my life.

She eventually pulls away and leans her head against my chest. "If Eric follows me, your life will be vampire free." I say.

"I don't care." Ariel whispers. I sigh and rest my chin on her head.

We stand there for about five minute until we pull away and say goodbye. We know it's our last goodbye, our last kiss, our last hug. It's our last time being together.

She leaves my dorm ten minutes later and after she's gone I flop on my bed. I would have gone to sleep if I were human.

If I were human I wouldn't be leaving. If I were human I wouldn't have a suitcase next to me full of clothes. If I were human I wouldn't hate myself and Eric so much.

But in the next four hours I get up with my suitcase and leave the boy's dorm. I pass by the adult's dorm, knowing my parents are in there. And next, I pass the girl's dorm. I let a tear escape and run down my cheek as I wave goodbye to nothing but the closed wooden door.

Once I get out of the building I make a run for it until I'm at least ten miles away from Rosewood Academy.

And I'm not sure but I think I heard footsteps behind me as I ran.

Author's Note

Adam's second chapter. Hope you like it

Reviews

[Jacques]

this was very nice to read because it's a story with heart and the two characters Alex and Ariel convey so much emotion and sometimes i forget that this is a book and it's not real because it feels so alive and that what makes it so good and it was a welcoming story because Adam is one of my favourite characters .