It's Like a War Inside My Head (part 2)

Michelle

I have to go back out there. I check my phone for the time. I have half an hour left. I won't make it that long unless these aches calm down.

I wait for a minute but they don't calm down. And eventually they bring me to the same pose I was in on my bedroom floor back at the cabin, my knees rolled up to my stomach, facing the ground and clutching my head. My headaches are bad, really bad, and I'm just waiting for my vision to go blurry.

I need to go back out there. Somehow, I need to power through this.

I get up and immediately fall against the wall, but I make sure my legs keep me up, feeling them shake and shiver. I push myself out of the stall and after falling and stumbling and bumping I make it out of the bathroom, grateful no one else came in while I was in there.

I'm about to turn to go back to Ben, hoping I can manage at least a smile and maybe make it another fifteen minutes before I ask for a ride home, but then I turn right back around.

I was prepared to go into the bathroom but I turn the corner of the building and head for the back, where I decide to just stand there until this goes away. Because I won't make it down the hill without doubling over.

I fall to the ground and clutch my stomach with one hand while the other keeps me lifted off the grass, my knees doing the same. Please make this go away, please! The pain is so excruciating, so hard to not concentrate on. I see my vision go blurry again and I let out a soft cry.

I can't help it. I start whimpering quietly, hoping someone doesn't hear me, begging someone doesn't hear me. Especially not Ben, if he comes looking for me.

All the sudden, against my will, my back goes into a hunch. I hear bones cracking in my back and I fall to the ground, lying on my side in agonizing pain.

What was that? Muscle spasm? Whatever it was, it feels like I broke every bone in my back.

I don't dare move. I lie there, motionless. The only thing I can focus on are my short breaths, making sure they're still there, that I'm not dead. Though it feels like it. It very much feels like it.

Just when I think it's over, that the pain has gone down a little, my whole body stretches out and shakes. Shivering, twisting, turning. All out of control, and I can't stop it. I let the spasm take over my body, letting my body shake and twist in ways it shouldn't. My arms, my legs, my neck, all of it spasming.

I feel something climb its way out of my throat and eventually it makes me puke. I cough out the rest, feeling empty and hurt. I feel my bones break all over, making the spasm hurt ten times more.

And finally, I scream out in pain. Revealing myself, letting everyone know I'm having a freak out behind the bathroom. But I don't care.

The pain maximizes as all the bones in my body crack. And I know I'm going to die.

I feel hot tears roll down my cheeks, knowing this is the end. This crazy, insane attack on my body for whatever unimaginable medical condition I now have is going to kill me. I'll be dead in a few minutes.

The spasms slow down, but I feel myself transform. I feel my back shrink, my fingers grow, and my face change in ways I can't explain. I feel the transformation take over me and I cry out in pain again, feeling as if someone had crushed my body and I'm now a flat, dying girl.

What's happening?!

But then it all stops. I sit there for a long moment, anticipating the next spasm on my now transformed body.

I feel something different about myself, feel like I'm something completely different. Inhuman, alien. Just different. I feel heat around my body. I feel light-weight and...light-headed. As if I'll pass out any minute.

But something takes over my body. Not another spasm, but as if something is controlling me into doing something, taking off into the woods behind the bathrooms, making me completely forget about the party.

About Ben.

And all I remember is flying, bursting out from the tree tops, soaring high in the sky, feeling wind against my now smaller, lighter body. Feeling free, feeling the need to fly high above the clouds.

And leaving behind nothing but my entire life.

Author's Note

Again, had to cut it into two because it's so long...