The Shuttered Light

I am the light within.

I am the witness,

The watcher within,

Shuttered light 

On my rock

In a restless sea.

Waves batter and break,

Relentlessly pounding,

Tides tug and surge,

My body is drowning.

My thoughts are the tides,

And my feelings the waves,

Time takes my rock,

And my body decays.

Yet I am the witness,

The watcher within,

My light it shines forth now,

Refusing to dim.

Reviews

[David Scott]

Ah... You claim the metaphors and even index them for the reader. Interesting use of metaphors.
You talk about the actions of the waves, tides, rock, body, light... Then you explain what each part means to you.
Nothing overly cryptic here and broadly relatable.
A very enjoyable read.

[Firebird]

Yes I know I didn't leave much to the imagination. Maybe I explained too much and made it simplistic but it felt right to do so. I wanted to make my message clear and let my light shine out for anyone who may read it to see and understand.

[David Scott]

I have no critisism at all. In think it fits well with your title and intention. I tend to write in shades and innuendo, but this is not better or worse, right or wrong. I wouldn't change a thing.
Good work.

[Firebird]

Thank you :-)

[Chris Shaw]

A wonderful metaphor here. I saw that lighthouse in a turbulent sea take a battering. I also saw a lesson in resilience. Very nice work.

Chris

[Firebird]

Thank you for reading and for your kind comment Chris

[andrew mitchell]

Interesting use of metaphors I think you are in for a rough ride! The sea can be brutal! A nice poem Firebird! loved the imagery!

[Firebird]

Thank you for reading it Andrew. I'm glad you liked it :-)

[Willard Wells]

Boy is that a vision of my mind also. Standing on the outside looking in sometimes. Well done.

[Firebird]

I hope the view is good. Thank you Willard. Take care of yourself x

[Zugzwang]

May you always shine so bright my friend.
A beacon for us all.
Z.

[Firebird]

Oh! Thank you Z :-)

[Zugzwang]

You're welcome 😊

[-inactive now-]

This poem is pretty nice, it's straightforward and simple, but written with genuine feeling. I enjoyed it.

[Firebird]

Thank you Josiah! :-) I'm glad you liked it.

[-inactive now-]

You're welcome :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we are much more than physical bodies...we are the light within...the heart, the soul of being human...

really like this intent...

j.

[Firebird]

Thank you Jacob :-) I'm really glad you like it.

[alifeacoustic]

Beautifully flowing words, with a hauntingly lovely voice whispering the words.

[Firebird]

Thank you for that lovely review. You make my day :-)

[alifeacoustic]

You are very welcome

[Mara]

I dont even know what to say..
but i wanted you to know that i like this so much and im adding it to my favorites:)
Thank you for sharing this truly amazing poem!:)

[Firebird]

Oh thank you so much Tee! I'm glad you liked it. :-)