Mountain Lake

Tired and dusty from the climb,

I came to a mountain lake.

I immersed myself in the crystal pool,

And my pain fell away to the depths.

I was washed clean and soaked through,

My spirit was freed of its webs.

I stepped out barefoot on the shore

And I raised my face to the light.

Reviews

[Eggman]

A great, immersive piece of writing! The sensory imagery is very strong, I can certainly relate to the feeling of bathing in a body of water after a long walk. You asked for some advice so here's a little - to make this piece even better, you could use words with "th" sounds, like "path", "that", "then" etc to represent the dustiness of the situation, then use sibilant words like "aura", "roar", "lower" to correspond with the soothing sensation of the bath. The poem is great already though so this is purely an artistic choice. Again, really good work.

[Firebird]

Thank you. That's really helpful. :-)

[DeerInHeadlights]

love it.. there is no better place to go to in order to reenergize and refresh than somewhere in the mountains.. being in with nature.. made me wish I could be there.. today.

[Firebird]

Thank you deer. I'm glad you liked it.

[Zugzwang]

An engaging little story with a really positive message. Fantastic.

[Firebird]

I haven't actually swum in a mountain lake in this country for years..they are bloody cold! :-)

[Zugzwang]

I can imagine. All lakes are freezing!