Sparks

One of my first poems.

In my head,
this dark cocoon,
my feelings ebb and flow.
I'll stay within,
it's cold outside.
Just leave me here alone.

I'll light some sparks
around my thoughts
and fan the flames up high
'til I can rise
above the earth
on wings of golden fire.

Author's Note

Just starting to write poems. Be kind.

Reviews

[-inactive now-]

Really good for a first poem, I got the image of a bird bursting free from a dark cocoon in a blaze of fire, ...a phoenix.
It is astounding when we can free ourselves of negative thoughts and feelings that chain us down.
Wonderful, nice form. I liked it :)

[Firebird]

Thank you! I wrote all my poems here in the last three months of 2015. I haven't written any this year :-/

[-inactive now-]

I'm sure you'll come up with something great soon enough :)

[DIVYA]

HEY! I REALLY LIKE IT. THE WAY I PERCEIVE IS THAT THE WORLD FOR THAT PERSON IS COLD BUT HE IS A GOOD PERSON AND SO HE GETS LOST INTO HIS FANTASIES , WHICH HAPPENS A LOT TO ME BTW.

[V]

This is really good for a beginner. Nice use of words and rhythmic pattern you created. Enjoyed reading.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

it's hard to become a butterfly again when we have been hurt so often that we wrap ourselves in a cocoon of self-protection...
nicely expressed...
j.

[Firebird]

Thanks j I wrote this poem a while ago now. It doesn't feel so cold outside now despite the fact it's winter. :-)

[jesserose99]

almost a phoenix rising well from the ashes of your mind. such lovely descriptions and personality in your writing...was taken with you. its not easy to stay in your own head, the thoughts build and build...but equally so, it isn't easy to rise once you have been waiting there keeping yourself from the cold. This was pointed and sure didn't need to be any longer.
Love when no words are wasted.

[Firebird]

Thank you jesserose for your kind review.

[Great Aunt Astri]

For one of your first poems this is amazingly good. You must have a Muse there by your side!

[Firebird]

Thank you Aunty Astri ! You are kind. :-)

[cloud]

The words of the poem coast along in a lyrical type of flow, especially the second stanza. This is impressively done for first poem.

[Firebird]

Thank you Desperado. I look forward to returning the favour and reading some of yours.

[Philip Muls]

Simple and clever. Less is more. Sparks, flames, fire...the way you play the fire theme is brilliant.

[Firebird]

Thank you for reading my poem Philip. I'm glad you liked it. :-)

[Terry O'Leary]

Coming back...
Very nice!
Great flow, rhyme and content!!!
If the last word of the third line of the second stanza would read "higher", it would would yield a double rhyme with "fire"... just saying... ;-))

[Firebird]

Thanks for the tip Terry You're right. :-)

[terry smith]

very nice....your future looks bright...like a fireball in the sky...:)

[Firebird]

Haha! Thanks :-)