a good toxic

A Poem by a poet

for i have now composed mulitple poems of you
all from the same experiences you gave me
and i still cannot bring myself to face you
and i cannot bring myself to not tear up at your name
i am still attached in the worst kind of ways
and i do not like this
not one bit.

at first, i couldn't be without you
but now
i want nothing more than for you to go
walk out once more
i want you to leave me
alone.
i need you to get out my mind
but i need closure
of the kind that i know i will not gain

and i know you are toxic to me
but i cannot get away
from the sadness you gave me as
it comforted me
in an unusual way
that would seem wrong to anyone but us
but i loved the way
that you screamed
and the way i could not bring myself to leave you
i admired the way you controlled me and the way
that you threw your abusive words at me
as if they were of infinite supply

A.I