SURPRISE

This is about a few weeks ago that my ex came to my door at 11 o clock at night

It was a friday night, I was about to go to bed, bc i had to work the next morning, all of a sudden I heard a knock at my door!!! I was like who the hell knocks at someones door at 11 o clock at night!!!! The only time I come home at that time is if I have went out. When I looked out said, it happened to be poison. I am like why are you here. In my mind it is rude and second of all you never talk to me at work, not even a hello or anything like that. Poison started giving me this sad story and all that trash. She said, "I know that you dont want me here." That is pretty obvious because we barely talk, and whenever we do, it is all negative. I didnt even let her in. I pointed poison in the direction to leave!!!! 

A few days later, I was working and I was ringing her up at the register and she didnt even speak. She was on here dam phone like a rude a*s person!!!!!

Reviews

[Hannah]

It can be hard sometimes when people from our past suddenly reappear. It's best to stay focused on the here and now, instead of our past, even though it isn't always easy.

[Justin]

Thanks Hannah 😉 moving on isn't the easiest, instead of always feeling sorry for yourself and all that garbage just got to move on!!

[just is]

there is a lot of rude people in the world, I've gotten used to that. Some are just mean too, and some are like poison.

[Justin]

Thanks :) I am use to rude ppl too 😞

[skiiish367]

It's a great start for a story, and the plot is interesting, seeing that you took it from a real life event that happened.
I do however think, that you should improve on the grammar, and perhaps have paragraphs when changing dialogue. You should also try going into more detail about the event, and take it a little slow.
Otherwise, it's great.

[Justin]

thanks :) it sometimes hard to go into detail about that kinda of stuff, i just put it out there!!!

[skiiish367]

That's kinda what I like about your writing though. It's pretty raw, and that makes it unique. :)

[Justin]

thanks, it is raw which is the best instead of doing editing and all that stuff