Hell's Disease

Feigning strength with forlorn smile,

forcing heartbeat; breath is bile. 
Shards of glass- mental debate…
but good girls don’t give way to hate.

Swallow hard and bury deep,
all emotions; no retreat. 
Saintly sister, so far gone,
wrenching spirit- bitter pawn.

Splintering thoughts, attempting peace;
Flinching posture- no release.
Lack of ailment, no real cure;
silence is the only sure. 

Medicine for numbing mind...
Standing, broken, freezing time.
Others watch as judgments-fanned;
cruelty mocks “just play your hand”.

Doctors, cynics, family, peers;
“shake it off; no call for tears.” 
Mind too full and heart too torn,
yet no one sees depression born.

Slinking shadow tiptoes in-
no cause or reason, pain or sin.
So none can fully comprehend,
though many try: well-meaning friend.

Anger, sadness, darkness, fear,
hate to leave but can’t stay here.
Lonely, anxious, void of care,
living-dead with vacant stare.

Fog and haze envelopes all;
one can’t explain- no one to call.
This sickness seizes best of these
and takes no prisoner; hell’s disease. 

May hold no symptom, blood, or scar,
but violates soul with deathly mar.
It captures dreams and shatters joy:
a devil’s speech, a con-man’s ploy.

While torture thrives, still hope lives on.
Far past the hurt is light of dawn.
May seem a chasm- here to there,
yet promise grows like love affair.

Believing, still, words proven true-
Unseen Reward will see you through.
Steps crucial now as journey looms-
Each breath of pain, each thought of doom;

Walk on- walk on- bear up the weight!
Rely on promise; sidestep hate. 
Hands once wounded, won’t let go…
Even if you’d swear it so. 

Speaking on, from one once shackled,
(Wretched spirit- mercy spackled)
There is no end where faith resides;
the hurt deceives, yet Truth abides.

Choosing life and claiming grace
will see you through this darkened place.
You’re not alone- you never were-
Soon this will be a holy blur.

Allow a thought...
a hope, a prayer...
Keep walking on...
You’re almost there.

Author's Note

For more of my writings please visit my website: www.cassieweller.com