The Nothing-Place

Dedicated to Ella Mae Natvick and her personal and literary journey through the "nothing-place". Based on the art piece "Christina's World" by Andrew Wyeth

I’ve come so far, no turning back;
this prodigal, now almost home.
A foolish, selfish, childish soul;
thought I was better off alone.

The fancy-free that beckoned me,
that temptress of worldly pleasure,
ransacked my spirit, starved my being-
now a dark, corroded treasure. 

Still here I lie in pain and dust
as mind crazed at forgiving sky;
when all my thoughts and inner voice-
berated choices- screaming, "Why?!" 

The girl I was, who knew no wrong,
who held such promise in her hand,
is now but bones with guilty core-
a wilted flower of the land.

No force of man forbade return,
yet still I kept myself away,
believing that, should I find home,
I wouldn’t have the strength to stay.

In fearful mind I saw the stones,
the hurdled judgments of their glare,
when scars- long wounded- tear again,
from painful word and hateful stare.

What brought me here? This place- this far?
An unseen hand pulled at frayed strings
to lead me to this memory-grain
that feeds the layman and the kings.

I’ve come so far, no turning back.
This withered frame, too frail to touch,
has crept along this final path-
refusing any help or crutch

What will I meet when closer still,
attempting journey through a crawl?
I lift my eyes to what could be
but can’t explain this trek at all.

And only here, a humbled shell,
result of world revolving me,
a figure starts a running pace-
this dream I knew and now I see.

From dirt and wheat and grassy hill,
I’m lifted, carried as a child.
The fearful creature that I was 
has joined the crypt with past defiled.

Relieved and grateful here I lay,
in arms that never closed the door;
expecting, one day, I’d return-
and here I am, from self-made war.

I see the shelter of my home
and feel the warmth of hope’s embrace;
forgiveness crowding out the shame
from tattered, worthless, nothing-place.

Author's Note

For more of my writings please visit my website:
www.cassieweller.com