Your pain, my pain, my pain

Your pain, my pain, my pain

A Poem by Chris Shaw

i found myself revisiting
the Royal Free
a brisk five minute walk
from the bustle of
Camden Town tube

ten years down the track
of no coming back
misty eyed by your demise
i recall your voice

i heard you cry out
in haunting agony
as you rang the bell for help
i felt every millimeter
of pain consume you totally

it swallowed me whole
took my breath away
yet I ran to the nurse’s station
yes I ran begging them
begging them

to hot foot down the corridor
to my sibling to my brother

they didn’t

the consultant arrived eventually
fully dark suited
in pompous superiority
hard boiled and condescending
in rude attitude

supported by his young and
green entourage
adding needed muscle

he insulted you
in front of me and invoked
my inner demon
he really shouldn’t have
done that

i so wanted to kick that
effing bar steward
in his two tiny vulnerables
for his lack of compassion

outside the wind was howling
the wind was moaning
he is dying he is dying
the wind doesn’t lie
the wind didn’t lie



© 2024 Chris Shaw


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Reviews

Shockingly real your memories - how many of us can say the same about the NHS. We, your dear Readers, feel your pain and empathise fully.

Posted 6 Months Ago


Chris Shaw

6 Months Ago

Thank you Tony for stopping by to share your thoughts. Much appreciated.

Chris
A beautiful agonising poem of remembered pain. Remarkable and excellently written.

Posted 6 Months Ago


Chris Shaw

6 Months Ago

Many thanks Ken. I appreciate your words and your visit. Happy Thursday.

Chris
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mou
The patient and his or her family always have some genuine concern and expectations. Some doctors and nurses should be little empathetic. Here I do not want to hurt anyone but I too witnessed this scenario. It feels pathetic and helpless when our people are being hurt and mistreated. It is a heart-wrenching write, Chris. Your words always capture every little detail of a situation and emotion.
- mou

Posted 6 Months Ago


Chris Shaw

6 Months Ago

Thank you dear mou, for your share. Yes, good and bad in everything, but this experience has left un.. read more
mou

6 Months Ago

I understand what you do mean here, Chris. And yes, Happy Thursday
Such a sad but beautifully written poem I also had to deal with not so great nurse things when my own father passed away..hopefully things are better for the current patients and beyond. Good bedside manner is often last or absent when it comes to the nurses and doctors. I was also a Medical assistant I could witness it live. Hopefully better days are coming. Another sad but good read.

Posted 6 Months Ago


Chris Shaw

6 Months Ago

Thank you for your share butterfly. Sorry to hear about your experiences when your father passed. I .. read more
This poem brings me back to the days when my dad was in the hospital and in therapy. I saw bad things. I to called the nurses but not for my father. For another patient. He was probably in terrible pain from constipation. I told the nurse - who could probably hear him all the way down the hall - that he needed help now. She took her time and it made me anxious and worried about someone I didn't even know.

My father said one night in his hospital room he rang for the nurse because he had to use the bathroom bad. About four or five nurses wound up having a party in the hall and turned up music on one of the patients TV. Needles to say, my father never got any help.

I don't know if hospital workers become desensitized or not, but I've heard horror stories before including a WW2 vet who died because the nurses didn't care that he couldn't breathe and actually laughed while attending to him. That may even be online. The head nurse was fired.

Posted 6 Months Ago


Chris Shaw

6 Months Ago

Thanks Tim. Most of my experiences have been very positive, but this was far from that. It has left .. read more
This is very upsetting Chris. You build a penetrating atmosphere: it penetrates my eyes, gets into my brain, and, in a way, of course, into my heart. Rather a shudder here as I sit in the IT suite of my local library!

Posted 6 Months Ago


Chris Shaw

6 Months Ago

Hi Andrew, if you think you can do anything with this one, please feel free to do so. Big thank you .. read more
Andrew John

6 Months Ago

Will enjoy voicing this one, Chris. Sorry I've been a long time: been working on other stuff. As you.. read more
Chris Shaw

6 Months Ago

You are a gem Andrew. Thank you so much. I really appreciate you voicing my work. It adds value:)
That description of you wanting to kick him in the vulnerables is just so blunt, but it works for the piece. Hospitals can be such emotionally charged places, especially when you consider all the emotions that they hold. They are liminal places.

There was a bleakness to this that I found captivating, I just couldn't look away.

Thank you for sharing this.

Posted 6 Months Ago


Chris Shaw

6 Months Ago

I’m pleased you stuck with it and thank you for your visit. The dark suited one invoked my anger. .. read more
Bedside manner should be the first thing they learn and if it is the case, then they should be tested again and again so they never forget it.
Let's hope his young and green "muscle" learnt a valuable lesson that day and one they will never forget.
But we do get all kinds of bar stewards in every walk of life....unfortunately.


Posted 6 Months Ago


Chris Shaw

6 Months Ago

Hi Lorry, a good morning to you. Yes, totally lacking in bedside manner. I hope his students did le.. read more
Lorry

6 Months Ago

Am all good Chris...Well as good as its gonna get, the movie title almost said. 😀
Chris Shaw

6 Months Ago

As good as it’s gonna get is better than the seesaw moving downwards. Take care :)
hi Chris, i am waving hand at the home town, the first sea route to india discovered and vascodagama and bisilca church, and fort kochi beach, but all alone, never mind what happens for a good reason, dont be that much sorry, i too did something wrong maybe but want to teach him his own ethics how to treat younger generation not with political poliics, and definitely there will be a change in him thats what i wanted and not to defame the company, i am sorry if it made old pain to memory, nothing was against her or company it was pointing that old man HOD only.

How are you doing, i think eyes are now normal and i want you to be on wheels sometimes, i would rejoin once hod is gone thats what he said, so waiting for the time to call me back.
i will be in Delhi for two more months at home with wfh, with my son coming in may last week, need to book his ticket, he will be traveling alone, not worried as there is crew care in flight and it will be a direct flight from USA. he said he will come alone, so fine.

hope you take good care of yourself resting and eating healthy, and having fun, no more worries should torture you and no more at all, i will not tolerate if any hurts you, i would do what i can.

jessy jacob,
with my love and hugs, with a warm touch of your feet.

Posted 6 Months Ago


Chris Shaw

6 Months Ago

Bless you dear Jessy. Look after your lovely self sweetheart 🌹
JessyJacob

6 Months Ago

Thank you so much dear Chris.
The medical profession is a noble one, but that doesn't mean it can't be infiltrated by anal sphincters. The US medical system is every bit as vulnerable as the venerable NHS. I'm finding that out now with my wife's situation.

Posted 6 Months Ago


Chris Shaw

6 Months Ago

I smiled at your description of the bar stewards you can come across occasionally in the NHS. I hope.. read more

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Added on April 18, 2024
Last Updated on April 18, 2024

Author

Chris Shaw
Chris Shaw

Berkshire, United Kingdom



About
Albert, my paternal grandfather introduced me to Tennyson when I was nine. I have loved poetry ever since but did not attempt writing a single piece until I was 40. It's never too late to try somethin.. more..

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