Here It Comes Again

(Anniversary thoughts of mum’s last night)

the build up leading to
that last night
a floral touch lamp on low light
covid restrictions in full swing
mum in the final throes of dying
her green eyes half closed
i’m crying inside
wish i could run and hide

sis and i in that room
first floor one one two
blue curtains already grieving
sis lying on the floor looking at
the shadows spooked on the ceiling
me slumped on a chair by the door

the rest rolls restless in my head
better it isn’t said
better it travels with the dead

some things don’t go away
some things sit beneath the skin
some things like to stay
to erupt when ready
like a boil about to burst
to release all that
seeping pain
here it comes again

Reviews

[JessyJacob]

Hi Chris, i have been in general but this is new with no ticket of general but in sleeper c, near the door, with all cold wind and men me alone, but all are nice not to be scared, too much baggage whole i made almpst a home here like 10 bags, whole new experience, never never land whole 42 hrs journey. Great experience see the suffering from an inch only hurts is smell that is being polluted of noce fragrant air. Its good i am alone travelibg, tbis suffering shouild go with me. Thank yoi for reading my lines.

[Davidgeo]

The one thing I despise about aging is the loss of what is dear to us. We don't talk about it enough with each other, we forget sometimes that every stranger you meet will go through this if they already haven't. It's important to write stuff like this, it helps us visualize a deep sense of empathy. Too many people repress and numb ourselves to our tragedies, it's probably a mistake en masse society wide. Your baseline mental illness will generally have to do with the loss of a loved one, one way or another.

I'm sorry for the tragedy you had to go through to write this. It just sucks to be a human sometimes.

[Chris Shaw]

Oops. Left my response in the wrong place. Please scroll up to the top of the page:) Thanks:)

[schlanks]

Devastating. When I say I am so sorry for your loss, I truly mean it after this read. This write doesn't hold back in expressing every detail, and it makes empathy effortless. Vivid and heartbreaking and expertly done.

[Chris Shaw]

Thanks schlanks for leaving a thoughtful and compassionate write. I appreciate you stopping by.
read moreThanks schlanks for leaving a thoughtful and compassionate write. I appreciate you stopping by.

Chris

[John the Baptist]

The death of a parent, especially one who has remained a significant part of one's life, can be a traumatic experience. That appears to be the case here, where the anniversary of the passing causes strong memories to come to the surface. It's best to let the memories be what they are and accept them. Resisting them only makes them grow stronger.

[Chris Shaw]

Thanks John. I go with the flow. Anniversaries are often difficult.

Chris

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Chris.... I miss my Mother more each day. The Pied Piper took her away. Peter Pan Dries my tears and Neverland is my Retreat. softly, Pat

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Pat. Your review is beautifully poetic. I miss my mum so much and anniversaries aren’t easy. January is a wicked month. All good wishes to you and Roger.

Chris 🌺

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Chris.. my Mother’s Birthday was in January. She was a Beauty like Flowers in Soring… Sweet as Honey in Sumner.. Roger and Myself are surviving … Leaning on the Lord’s Everlasting Love…. 💗 softly, Pat

[Chris Shaw]

Look after yourselves Pat 🌺

[Relic]

I have a journal I wrote in with all the things that happened when my father was dying. I know where it is, but I'm afraid to look at it. I don't want to go back there.

I hear you on this one, Chris. I think you know that.

[Chris Shaw]

Hi Tim, many thanks for your share. I never kept a journal, but the thoughts are in my head and every now and then they spill out. I appreciate you and your understanding here. All the best to you.

Chris

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

An awesomely expressed poem wth the soulful musings and emotional memories aww yes losing loved ones is painful yes. Kudos!! And take care.

Plz also read and comment my newest poem too.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you zay zay for your visit. Long time no see. Hope you and yours are well. All good wishes. Will visit you soon.

Chris

[Betty Hermelee]

I know your feelings well Chris; there are hills and valleys in life and this one seems to be a deep valley of darkness and emotions...and terrible grief... it's always and an agonizing loss especially if it is a parent; you don't want them to suffer, yet you don't want them to die either.... i know people who have passed away from COVID.... you just want it to go away and stay away...
Warmly, B

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Betty for your understanding. Anniversaries do have a habit of flooding us with memories. Have a good weekend.

Chris

[Betty Hermelee]

You as well dear Chris!
Warmly
B.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I was in a rehab center when Covid was in full swing. My metal health was more sayt rick then my physical health at that time. Bound to a room where family and friends couldn't visit. That is a time I will never forget

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Dale for sharing your thoughts. Know they are appreciated. Happy Saturday.

Chris

[Ken Simm.]

Oh I can unfortunately empathise with this. The important thing is whilst it is good to remember it is also vital to remember it as it is and was.
Your genius is that you know and show that so well. And I can say that having twice been in that position having had Covid.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Ken for your continued encouragement. Know you are appreciated. Have a great weekend.
read moreThank you Ken for your continued encouragement. Know you are appreciated. Have a great weekend.

Chris

[FGFRANKLIN]

I'm sorry for your loss. It's never easy to lose a parent but as parents we all hope our children outlive us. Losing my mother was hard because I was her full time caregiver the last five years of her life. I promised her she would never see the inside of a nursing home. She passed away after two weeks in Hospice care from pneumonia. I feel the pain in this one. Bless.

[Chris Shaw]

Thanks Fabian. Anniversaries aren’t easy. The thoughts flood back. I appreciate your understanding.

Chris