Living Things

there the clock strikes midnight’s hour
in my garden lovely fair
honeysuckle’s fragrant flowers
wild like Amy’s unkempt hair
trellised on a red brick wall

back to black the velvet night
clear and balmy heaven knows
love the living while you can
the reaper waits so do the crows
that peck upon a fallen deer

here my thoughts drift to that sight
of a carcass in a lane
how earlier during the day
my beating heart felt pangs of pain
for a creature’s shortened life

dim the light upon the grass
orange blossom petals sigh
heavy over graveyard pets
echoes from the past goodbyes
children’s tears run down my cheeks

love living things on earth’s rich crust
too soon they crumble turn to dust

Reviews

[W. Barrett Munn]

Chris,

I'm having a little rhythm problem reading this and to my sense of rhythm and ear it is mainly due to a line length that doesn't want to play nice with your message, which then causes extra words to be tossed in that are not contributing. To clarify, I'll just show you what I mean in stanza 1.
Here is one option:

there the clock
strikes midnight’s hour
in my garden fair
honeysuckle’s flowers
wild like Amy’s hair
trellised on red brick

here is another option with longer lines:

there the clock strikes midnight’s hour in my garden fair
honeysuckle’s fragrant flowers, wild like Amy’s hair,
trellised on a red brick wall and tangled in dense curls.

These are just my thoughts. As you know, if I didn't like the poem I wouldn't comment on it. I'm just expressing how it struck me.

Winston

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Winston, I am always grateful for the interest you show in my work. I have read carefully your suggestions, but I can’t hear my own voice, as I would when I read my own lines, but I do appreciate always your thoughts. Thank you so much and have a great Sunday.

Chris

[John the Baptist]

"In the midst of life, we are in death," says the Anglican Book of Common Prayer. The scenes you describe here confirm that article of faith. Walk through any wooded site and you will see life and the evidence of its departure side by side. Even decay shows the law of nature in action, a continuous chain of change. Of course, this change is on the surface of life. What happens below that surface is the question.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you John. Yes the circle of life and it can be harsh and sadden, even though we understand it is necessary. Below the surface, who knows?

Chris

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

I read this it’s so beautiful Chris
Nature is The best thing about being alive
Have a nice weekend

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Julie, thank you for your kindness. Have a good one yourself. Take care and have fun.

Chris

[carl]

love for the living whatever the specific nature, hit me the first time i shot a blue jay with my BB rifle, then i stood and sorrow came as I saw his beauty and my remorse. never was a hunter or had to go to war, thank God for his mercy to me. "how earlier during the day my beating heart felt pangs of pain for a creature’s shortened life." well said - carl

[Chris Shaw]

Thanks carl for your share. A touching response. I understand that sorrow you had for the blue jay. Yes, mercifully you have not had to go to war. I have a dread of that, particularly where my grandsons are concerned. Have a good weekend and best wishes sent to you.

Chris

[Dave Brown]

bit of a heartfelt
Some fool shot/killed a dear a while ago, in our back 40
I didn't know what to do with it
Didn't want to just leave it to sadly rot all alone unattended
Then one day, when I went back with no solution in mind, it was gone
A bear has been ripping rotting tree trunks apart lately to get at the insects
it must have been him/her to lift and carry it off like that
I still don't know how to feel about it
one life taken to extend another's
Nature's ways are harsh

[Chris Shaw]

Thanks for the share Dave. Circle of life. Nature’s ways are harsh and they can sadden at times. I am just a southern softie. Have a great weekend.

Chris

[Soyam]

"In a garden of fragrant blooms,
Love and loss dance hand in hand,
Emotions bloom like petals in the night,
A reminder to cherish life's fleeting sand."

The closing lines, emphasizing the importance of cherishing life, are a powerful reminder of our mortality. A touching and introspective piece that resonates deeply. Well done!

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Soyam, thank you for stopping by and for your very encouraging response. Have a great weekend.

Chris

[Ted Kniffen]

Brilliant Chris, absolutely brilliant. A beautiful poem dealing with Life in all its aspects. I sense the loss of a pet here ... they can prove to be harder to deal with than humans.

We have lost three dogs now and each one was going to be "the last one" until the next one came along.
We are on our third rescue now ... a golden doodle ... a very needy golden doodle.

Take care my friend ... hope all is well.

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Ted thank you for your very generous review. I am so pleased you enjoyed this poem. Yes, dead pets. We have a garden graveyard over the past 40 years. Four cats, a rabbit and two Guinea pigs. Much mourned by the children as well as ourselves. I have a dog and a cat at present. All is reasonable in my workd.Thanks for asking. The very best of wishes sent to you from this side of the pond.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

life is ephemeral...I always feel a ping of sadness when I see a dead carcass by the road...suddenly life ends and it could for us, we we need to live to the fullest each day.
Your title reminded me of this song...quite appropriate I believe.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvBOZCrJsAI

j.

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks J. You feel the same as I do when encountering the dead carcasses of animals, usually road kill. Yes, a reminder that life is short. Many thanks for the link, I’ll go and listen.

Chris

[willweb]

Wow, what a great form this is written in. Sort of a sonnet but with an additional line to each stanza. I am sure this is called something but all I can think of is wonderful. I understand this and know the feeling. Circle of life I suppose. Nice one Chris.

[Chris Shaw]

Thanks Will so much for your kind words. If it is a particular form, I don’t know what it is. It sort of fell out of my muse’s mouth:) Yes circle of life. Sad but that’s the way it is.

Chris

[Patricia Wedel]

Orange blossoms sigh.. heavy over graveyard Pets… our Miniature Pincher, Angel, (bred in Germany originally) lived seventeen years and shared our days and walks by the River. She did not want to walk in Rain, so I used a large Beach Umbrella for both of us to stay dry. Roger and I heard her last Sigh after having her last drink of Water 💦 in our Arms. tenderly, Pat

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Pat thank you for sharing your Angel with me. We miss our pets so much when they pass. Our garden graveyard has four cats, two of them brothers, a rabbit and two guinea pigs. Most dearly loved by our grandchildren. A Chinese clay warrior stands on guard and from time to time we light a candle with gratitude for their living days. Have a beautiful weekend.

Chris