Countdown

(from the outside, 2nd of nine)

let me level with you
about Lawrence
a ripple in a pool of
misguided risk takers

a charmer
who wisely decided
to extricate himself from
a game of consequences
before it was too late

enrolled onto a higher education
course to make a career for
himself

he could and would have
excelled as a teacher
calm with a reassuring attitude
stimulating conversation
which reached out to others
with apparent ease

potential was there
duly noted
as was his patience
and love for his young son
witnessed first hand

then when the garden
appeared full on summer
blooming roses
he found the sharpest of thorns
in a moment of madness
he tripped

succumbed to old habits
a one off it was said
a no returner
an armful of no damn good
dubious strength

punctured all possibility
of a future
as his recovering body
was overpowered

another one gone
same old song
living on the brink
their eyes are open yet
they are blind to what’s
going on

Reviews

[lightsong]

Fabulous! fabulous one my dear... though I got the sense of addiction, but truth is the addiction can be anything not only drugs. Masterfully written, the way of words and how they touch us, a story about someone who can be anyone. the moment of weakness can hit us all, it is not a problem if we surrender to our weaknesses, but what matters that we rise up!

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you dear lightsong. Sadly Lawrence did not rise up but I know many who have. I wanted a voice given to someone who could have had a much fuller life and left this planet early. I appreciate your considered words.

Chris

[AYVID N]

This poem left me feeling quite sad as the battle was almost won and the rich rewards were almost within reach. A poem that teaches us such a valuable lesson on the vulnerability and fallibility of humans and their earthly failings. We don't just fail ourselves, we fail ourselves, our loved ones and our purpose for being here. Such futility generated all around....
Kudos on such a beautifully written poem touching us all.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you DIVYA. Yes dear friend. Futility all round and such sadness left in their wake. I appreciate you. 💐

[AYVID N]

You are welcome always dear Chris. 🙋‍♀️💕

[Miss Sharon]

(their eyes are open yet they are blind to what’s going on) Describes oh so many today. Great write here my friend. ~Sharon

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Sharon. Sadly this happens all too often. I appreciate you.

Chris

[Soren]

Addiction, regardless of what form is problematic and this write leaves me feeling a sense of hopelessness and hurt. Even habits of any form take the same form. Habits are hard to break. A poem well felt.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Soren. All addictions are problematic as you say. This one was drug addiction. A curse on the planet. I am trying to give a voice to the ones who couldn’t deal with their problems. Devastated family and friends left behind. Such a waste of a young life and a young son who won’t remember his father.

Chris

[Soren]

Addictions can only be broken when the one that has them wants to.

[Mauricio Montoya]

Wow the title got me to read but it's not about the end of a world but love at first sight telling the other it's frightening, any love if it's not ours lts wrong but I love this write because it comes from the heart and like how it ends, ever song will bring back memories.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and sharing.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you so much Mauricio for reading and sharing your thoughts on this poem. I appreciate your time.

Chris

[AJNJ]

I kind of relate this to some kind of an addiction maybe gambling or drugs or alcohol. Whatever it was, this was a powerful tale and certainly reminiscent of people who think they know everything but really don't have the coping skills to prove it. I enjoyed it.

[Chris Shaw]

Another valued review AJ. I thank you. I am writing here of drug addiction and the price paid. Giving a voice to the departed. They don’t think it’s going to destroy them. It can and does and hurts others too.

Chris

[John the Baptist]

Getting on the wagon is difficult, falling off, quite easy, given the right circumstances. This is a poignant, tragic tale, and the frustration in the speaker's words is evident:"another one gone/same old song."

[Chris Shaw]

The curse of drug addiction. Trying to give a voice here to those who were tempted and paid the price. They hurt themselves, but also the people who knew them and loved them. Thank you John.

Chris

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

“punctured all possibility
of a future
as his recovering body
was overpowered “
Such a sad story this, dear Chris. You tell it poignantly and dramatically….thorns and punctures- yes. Those in recovery from drug addiction are so vulnerable, especially when they have not finished the personal work needed on all levels. Hopes dashed, potential destroyed, families torn apart… tragic. Great narrative style, flow, language, metaphors, flow, storytelling. You give a voice to the many fallen souls. Kudos.

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Annette, as a nurse you are all too aware of the vulnerability of the recovering addict. He tried and failed. That is a great sadness to all who knew him. Thank you for taking the time to stop by and review. You are very much appreciated.

Chris

[JD Major]

Years of living well, one moment stumbling, a dear and tragic loss, family, friends in grief ...
... a survivor's feeling of What's the goddamn point! ...mellowing when roses bloom again.
...didn't mean to wax poetic, my friend, it just came out, of your fine writing, and a similar memory.
JD

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you JD. Those who live by the sword often die by it. Sadly he hurt his friends and family as well as himself. Such a wasted life.

Chris

[willweb]

To me this reads of the despair in watching another destroy his or her life with drug use. So many promising young people are losing the battle and not becoming what they should...the world will pay the price, eventually all will be lost if something doesn't change. Very sad Chris

[Chris Shaw]

Sadly will, it appears to be a part of life and when you are on the periphery looking in, it is despairing at times. This is not recent. There has been quite a period of time that has elapsed. He was known to our family. I thank you for taking the rough along with the smooth. My muse is all over the place currently.

Chris