Cries of the Doomed

whenever I slow down
to contemplate that hairpin bend in
a country lane where formidable
iron railings have been raised

gloss painted
in slick bottle green to blend in with
bushes and foliage to prevent
unauthorised access

my thoughts wander
to a June evening where an out of
control car plunged at speed into a
deep reed edged lake

in my mind's eye
i see and hear two dachshunds
on the back seat as the car
completely submerged in minutes

they yelped and squealed
terrified as they gasped for air as
their lungs flooded until all became
eerily silent

the driver escaped
walks her new pets these days
yet as i pass by i swear i hear
the cries of dogs doomed to drown

tugging and clinging to
a stranger's emotions

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

Poets are sensitive folks even to tragedy of drowning, helpless dogs. What an empathy here from our good poet and what a sad picture in awareness? Human, animal lives are fragile and to top it off is our carelessness.
You have a big heart and a mighty pen.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Sami for another valued visit. Pleased to have your thoughts on my page, very much so.
read moreThank you Sami for another valued visit. Pleased to have your thoughts on my page, very much so.

Chris

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure and delight. You are welcome and deserving.

[John the Baptist]

Sounds like something based on an actual event. Quite painful to read, putting the reader right on the scene, hearing the terror stricken dogs' cries as the water slowly takes them. I might have behaved just as the driver did, but for some reason I feel anger at her for the animals' sake. Perhaps I suspect her of reckless driving. The dachshunds deserved better than that.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you John for your review. This is based on fact sadly.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this is sadder to me than if two humans had died in the incident...
YOu can really weave a story...even when we feign moving on...do we really? Can we really? May we be allowed to....if guilt drives us into that lake.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you J. I can't help thinking she suffers from guilt. Her driving caused the accident. Can't be easy for her.

[Kim S.]

Such an emotional, heart tugging read. Nicely presented and written

[Chris Shaw]

Thanks for your positive review Becks.

Chris

[Kim S.]

not a problem

[Neville]

the events described here so well clearly had a profound effect on the author .. as indeed, they have already had on me. the driver though, sheeesh. Neville

[Chris Shaw]

Thanks Neville. Yes, the driver, she's got two new dachshunds. I can't quite get my head round that. Same breed, easily replaced.

Chris

[W. Barrett Munn]

My dachshund Corey was to me the hardest loss of which I have had to deal. Animals are innocents, and they trust us to watch out for them, much like a toddler does. When we fail that duty, something of us is lost and perhaps unrecoverable.
Winston

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Winston for the review. I know how much you love dogs and your loss of Corey clearly a difficult subject for you. Yes, dogs are in the care of their owners and are much like toddlers in that respect. That is why I felt badly about what happened here. Sad situation and my muse wouldn't let it go. I appreciate your thoughts. All the best.

Chris

[Ken e Bujold]

A poignant piece of writing Chris. So well crafted. Set the scene, build to the accident, the suffering by drowning (so subtly rendered through it being the dachshunds instead of the driver) then the killer switch back to the poor pups through a killer couplet, "the driver escaped/walks her new pets...

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks for the read and review Ken. Not a very happy topic, but that is where my muse took me. I don't argue with her :)

Chris

[Ken e Bujold]

we are at her beckoning, we follow where she leads

[Chris Shaw]

Absolutely :)

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

As someone who literally drowned back in the mid 70's as a child I can honestly say you capture exactly the fears I experienced and continue to live with. Nothing comes close to the sinking feeling and invasiveness of death filling the lungs slowly while being unable to do anything about it. I left a piece of myself in that river that is still crying out to this day. A little boy who was afraid to die drowning in a river. You capture the sadness perfectly Chris in this poem and those poor suffering animals that weren't as fortunate as me.

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Carlos, sorry to remind you of what clearly was a very traumatic experience for you. How awful for you and thank goodness the outcome for you was better than for those pups I have written about. Hoping all is good in your world. It's a Bank Holiday weekend here. All the best.

Chris