Child of Mine

my fragile flutterby
skirts the fringes of
future farewells

oblivious and unafraid
a surface of too close
for comfort burns bright

may the breath of
past spirits lift her wings
to grant her peace

Reviews

[Bhuyanshi Talukdar]

Your poem was really beautiful! The way you described the fragile flutterby skirting the fringes of future farewells was so evocative and poignant. It was like you were conveying a sense of vulnerability and uncertainty. The line about the surface of too close for comfort burning bright was especially powerful - it was like you were describing a sense of danger and risk. The image of past spirits lifting her wings to grant her peace was so lovely - it was like you were conveying a sense of hope and comfort. Overall, I thought your poem was really well written and thought-provoking.

[Chris Shaw]

Your review is beautiful and I thank you so much for the thought and attention you have given me today. This poem is especially dear to my heart and encompasses much love.

Chris

[William Michael Reeves]

A flutterby flies on the winds of the past.
Caught in currents of future cast.
And the peace in this piece reads much too fast. Like childhood, I wish this poem coululd longer last.

Billigami

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Bill for your welcome thoughts.

Chris

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

This is a beautiful piece of poetry Chris. I would expect no less from a poet's heart like yours. Truly aspirational and filled with the goodness of hope and love.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Carlos for your thoughtful review. I appreciate your visit and hope you are well.

Chris

[John the Baptist]

Has the sound of a difficult relationship, perhaps of the mother/daughter variety. No specifics are given, but perhaps it represents a young person's impatience to leave the nest. Maybe Mom is uncertain of her readiness to do so.

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks John for the visit and for you sharing your thoughts. I appreciate your time.
read moreMany thanks John for the visit and for you sharing your thoughts. I appreciate your time.

Chris

[Patricia]

This is a very emotive piece. Powerful in such few words which are my favorite and my attempts. You my dear friend achieved it so well!

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you for your warm review Patricia. Have a lovely Tuesday.

Chris

[light and ashes]

This is a masterpiece, Chris. I think you have truly have outdone yourself this time, 100.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you for your kindness light and ashes. Have a lovely day today.

Chris

[light and ashes]

I am sure I will.
:)
Thank you.

[keith]

you brought out the sharpies on this one painting such vivid imagery
even though 'a surface of too close' is a snippet of longer line, it speaks volumes making the focal point, 2nd stanza
you have done very well with this offering chris

[Chris Shaw]

Many thank yous Keith. Enjoy the rest of your day. Pleased you liked this shott poem.

Chris

[Vertigo Cat1111]

This is so strong and emotionally powerful. Something about the shorter lines adds so much, like the you just have to get it out, and trying not to acknowledge how painful the situation is.’a surface of too close, for comfort burns too bright.’ This and the line who it wings remind me of Icarus. The loss here is extreme feeling, you can feel the sinking, yet crushing weight in your words. Thank you so much for sharing another beautifully crafted poem.

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Cat, you just summed up perfectly my emotions. Thank you.

Chris

[Melinda McQueen]

Each line holds so much.
Just lovely.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Melinda for your kindness.

[Neville]

as far as poetry is concerned, this is sadder than sad .. but in the same vein & breath .. very near perfect too :)

[Chris Shaw]

Life ain't always a bed of roses, but hey I'm happy to embrace the roses when they arrive. Thanks Neville.

Chris

[Temperance]

Chris, this poem is so powerful. The love and loss is felt as well as the hope for a peaceful forever. I enjoyed this very much. Temp

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you dear Temp. Pleased you stopped by.

Chris

[W. Barrett Munn]

I love that the poem's title is critical to the reading. This says a ton in a few lines with warmth, pathos, optimism, sadness, and so much more. Quite the ride.

Congratulations to you, Miss Chris

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks WBM, your thoughts very much appreciated.

Chris