Child of Mine

my fragile flutterby
skirts the fringes of
future farewells

oblivious and unafraid
a surface of too close
for comfort burns bright

may the breath of
past spirits lift her wings
to grant her peace

Reviews

[Bhuyanshi Talukdar]

Your poem was really beautiful! The way you described the fragile flutterby skirting the fringes of future farewells was so evocative and poignant. It was like you were conveying a sense of vulnerability and uncertainty. The line about the surface of too close for comfort burning bright was especially powerful - it was like you were describing a sense of danger and risk. The image of past spirits lifting her wings to grant her peace was so lovely - it was like you were conveying a sense of hope and comfort. Overall, I thought your poem was really well written and thought-provoking.

[Chris Shaw]

Your review is beautiful and I thank you so much for the thought and attention you have given me today. This poem is especially dear to my heart and encompasses much love.

Chris

[Patricia Wedel]

dearest Chris… in every flower there is Grace…
a love that endures through tears and the embrace of memories. tenderly, Pat

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you dear Pat. She is much loved by us all, but is lost. There have been many many tears over many years.

Chris

[Stella Armour]

Your mother , might yet find and bring her back into the fold Chris..... butterflies are spirits .

[Chris Shaw]

What a beautiful thought Stella. Thank you.

Chris

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This is delicate and loving but tinged with sadness and suffering and a sort of helplessness feeling. That's the most terrifying feeling I can think of as a parent, not to be able to help my child. They have to grow up but it doesn't mean they have to grow "away". Indeed, I have a daughter living over 4000 miles away in Alaska that I talk to at least twice a week. We e-mail, video call, share stories, books and things our kids would enjoy. She has my three beautiful, loving grandchildren to care for and I have her baby sister (there's thirty years between them). She has one of her degrees in childhood education so I can give gravity to her advice. And of course, I'm DADDY and PapPap so she always gives respect to mine. We have a wonderful relationship. And they say "long distance relationships" can't work. (Ha) I KNOW, they mean the "romantic" sort. But ours is a "true love" almost four decades old. I need to call her today and see how things are going in their new home. I love my son-in-law too. He's a sergeant in the military, a big, tough guy who's gentle as a lamb with all my babies. The line about "peace" made me think of loss. God forbid that should be the case. Surviving the loss of a child must certainly be the hardest burden in life to bear.

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Fabian, your thoughtful response touched me. There is loss here, but not in the way you think but it is painful none the less. I appreciate you.

Chris

[Fabian G. Franklin]

You're very welcome. I wish and pray for reconciliation and healing in whatever your needs may be and comfort for your ache. We all struggle in some way. I'm learning coach for my second grader so that's my current challenge...but it has its rewards too. Bless, F.

[Einstein Noodle]

stunning in it's fragile innocence and driven with powerful emotion .. so emotive .. this loss is like no other for us, Chris ... children, as it is said, are not supposed to die before we do .. every line and word is clipped tight and sharp ... we take solace from the closing V ... thank you for that ... so much we will never understand but comfort and assurance of Faith do see us through ... beautiful work my friend!
E.

[Chris Shaw]

It is a delight to have a visit Mr E, so good to see you and I hope you are well. Thank you for your thoughtful review on a subject which is painful for me, as my daughter has no idea of her vulnerability and how she dices with danger. I appreciate your thoughts

Chris

[Einstein Noodle]

it's good to be back from my break ... we have God bungee chords, tho with limits, that will bounce us back .. our children are the most precious treasure the world community has .. those who grew up in homes with loving, respectful, guidelines ... can not stray so far as to be lost .. God is good .. all the time .. something that has carried me through raising 4 children as a single Da ... is this .. Proverbs 22:6 NLT "Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it." ... thank goodness that none of us turn out exactly the way our parents wanted us to be .. but God willing .. our children will not suffer permanent damages in youthful foolhardy energies ... your poem is so strong and relevant .. a keeper for sure!

[Chris Shaw]

Aw, thank you my friend for your kindness. :)

[Dave]

Your emotion burst forth with such intensity. One can easily appreciate the feeling of loss you have undergone. Fortunately, you do have a fond remembrance of her.

I know it's been a while, Chris, but I should be back for a while now. Take care - Dave

[Chris Shaw]

The loss Dave is in not seeing her while she is still living. Just as painful. Many thanjs for your review.

Chris

[Coyote Poetry]

Hello dear Chris. Powerful and worthwhile words shared.
"may the breath of
past spirits lift her wings
to grant her peace"
I did like the above lines. We need to be lifted-up and find our place of peace. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks for your thoughtful review Coyote. You are appreciated. All good wishes.

Chris

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome dear Chris.

[Betty Hermelee]

Something too close... is a pain that doesn't fade easily... memories of a loved one (perhaps a child) who may have suffered before death....All you desire now is for this person to be at peace; a poignant poem that spills the heart with tears....
Beautiful...
Best, B

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Betty for your thoughts. I need to pay you a visit. Always good to see you.

Chris

[Betty Hermelee]

You're very welcome Chris
On vacation month of September in Azores Islands!!!
See you upon my return!!!
Best, B

[Chris Shaw]

Have a great time. I will visit while you are away Betty.

[Soren]

Chris this is a heart touching poem where I feel the loss. Alliteration in the first stanza helps the flow that smooths me back to a past time. The second stanza bodes pain while the last is a redeeming thought. I loved it.

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Soren, pleased you enjoyed the read. Thank you for a lovely review.

Chris

[AMMD]

A lot of breadth in its brevity. A lot of love and longing, also. It's well written as usual for you. Hoping you and yours are doing well. Good morning - here's to a good weekend

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you for your thoughtful review.. Weekend is going well. All good wishes to you.

Chris