Never A Pair

(more fun, a spontaneous write)

dear one I rarely breakfast
however I can assure you
socks don't feature on a menu
of blueberries with cereal

neither would I wear them
as I prefer that my toes have
freedom of movement fresh air
and a slick coat of vivid colour

as far as I know there isn't
a secret spot within the washing
machine which hoards what
you say has gone missing

nor a plot to deny you
of possessions clearly dear
to your grieving sockless
and naked feet

so the solution that fits well
clear as a pane of window glass
take control of wash day
and do a bit yourself

start without delay
take on full responsibility
for all your own foot huggers
there are no sock muggers here

Reviews

[Dave Brown]

I hope my wife doesn't read this
Typical woman expectations!
the concept of men washing their own socks is contrary to the laws of houseworkidization
next you'll want him to make breakfast, dust, food shop, take out the garbage, cook the meals, weed the garden, pay the bills, handle the tax receipts, patch holes in the seat of his pants, load and unload the dishwasher, hang up his clothes, make the bed, feed and walk the dog, clean the windows, wash the floor, be the first one up each morning, buy all the birthday presents, look for bargains, iron the clothes, spread out the birdseed, etc. etc.
Can't you see the chaos you're creating for the sake of one lousy sock

[Chris Shaw]

Ah Dave, but it was not one sock. It was many socks and four adults complaining and blaming the one who does their laundry. Soon sorted that ingratitude :))) Your poor wife! Ta for your epic response.

Chris

[supernova_thoughts]

It's like the washing machines have a secret portal to the parallel world. A world only open when my mom washes my socks. Fun read!

[Chris Shaw]

Thanks supernova. Now don't be harsh on your mum. She might make you do your own laundry. Pleased you stopped by.

Chris

[supernova_thoughts]

Yes 😁😁 she definitely will

[Stella Armour]

haha, love it.
If you want a job doing well, then do it yourself ( i did something similar years ago when i kept putting ironed seams in my husband's jeans )

[Chris Shaw]

I've decided that it's time the complaining others do their bit, especially as I never wear socks, even in winter :)) . Thanks Stella.

[Stella Armour]

i never wear socks or tights , haven't for years..... i hate anything touching to tops of my toes , anyway its freedom :)

[Katarzyna Anna Koziorow..]

Very well written, your poem is noteworthy. I like your literary technique. I'd love to see your other works. Have a nice day!

[Chris Shaw]

Many thank yous. I appreciate you stopping by. Feel free to read more of mine. I will check out some of yours.

Chris

[Soren]

Chris this is both amusing and close to heart, not counting how many socks have gone missing in my machine. But on another level this speaks to doing one's own laundry figuratively as well. Being who we are and not covering ourselves with false pretenses seems to fit. Sometimes in the washing machine of the mass' our false face is lost. How's that for reaching? Either way I certainly enjoyed it.

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Soren I am delighted you found some extra depth in my touch of silly. Pleased and thankful for your visit.

Chris

[Stuart Munro]

Nice poem ,Chris , it socks it too you ,
Enjoyable read

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Stuart for reading this but of spontaneous silly. Hope your Saturday has been a good one.

Chris

[Stuart Munro]

It’s a pleasure , thanks for sharing Chris , have a great weekend

[Richard Knox]

Ha! A fun and humorous poem! I have always been the laundry-doer in our household. I don’t mind it (actually find it satisfying) and my wife does the gardening (which she loves) and meal planning in return; both of which I detest. So we have an easy balance. However, when our daughters were small it seems like there was a sock-eating monster in our washing machine or dryer. I would estimate that half of their child-size socks had no mate. Fortunately, our girls didn’t usually get too upset by that, and now it seems that our granddaughters revel in wearing unmatched socks. Nowadays if there is a missing adult sock it usually turns up stuck by static electricity in a t-shirt or pillow case. Well, I’m rambling when my point was: good poem!

[Chris Shaw]

I really liked your rambles Richard. I think we all have experienced lost socks at some time or other. And yes odd socks are worn these days, well in younger people, they aren't afraid of unmatched. I appreciate you stopping by to read this but of fun:)

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Do your share...good point...and in a relationship....if one sock is missing its part of what makes a relationship work...there is no pair....
just a straggler looking for another.
funny poem with a good point to match.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Thanks J. Yep, they can do their own washing. Liked your angle regarding relationships. A bit of silly spontaneous here.

Chris

[Alan S Jeeves]

Washing machines can be skittish things, you know, Chris. I have discovered that they can shrink our confounded new UK plastic bank notes.
I accidentally left a £20 note in my shirt pocket and when my wife returned it to me after the wash it had shrunk to a tenner.
I must remember not to leave any money in my socks/sock though.

Kind regards, Penniless - West Yorkshire.

[Chris Shaw]

You really made me laugh about that shrinking twenty turning into a tenner. My husband thinks I'm an expert at that. Thank you Alan for enjoying a spontaneous bit of silly. I seriously think the adults in this house think I eat socks :)) Happy Saturday. Keep cool in the heat.

Chris

[Neville]

and there was me thinking ........................................................ life socks dunnit :) my guess is that every household has at least one sock hugga, the bugga .. and a drawer full of odd uns too ,, now stockings are a different matter altogether .................................... Neville

[Chris Shaw]

Four other adults here, hundreds of pairs of socks. Go figure. They think I eat them :)) Thanks Neville.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Love this Chris
Very good
I always lose a sock or two

[Chris Shaw]

I do not wear socks Julie. All the other four in the household do. There are hundreds of socks and very few pairs. They all think I eat them :)) Thank you hon x