I Should Have

I should have risen early
when the sunlight blessed the water
when the clouds were driven westward
on a breezy blue sky morn

I should have seen the willows
on the crowded banks a swaying
while the geese and ducks were dozing
in the river's flow at dawn

I was oh so far away though
I was floating in the heavens
I was chasing silver moonbeams
I was dancing with the spirits
I was ageless newly born

I saw the comet's soaring
through the darkened night time velvet
I was mesmerised by brightness
with a feeling I was weightless

while the clock had long stopped ticking
there was nothing I was missing
I was taken I was yearning
there is nothing here to mourn

Reviews

[Carola]

hi chris
another wonderful piece of penmanship.
you probably had a vivid dream. on waking, lucky that you remembered the images & turned them into words.
cheerio carola
ps love the idea of weightlessness, my daily aspiration, but I need a mouth zipper!

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks carola, I was certainly in and out of dreams. Pleased for all your encouragement and support.

Chris

[Alan S Jeeves]

Chris, I have to say that this is my favourite piece of yours I have thus far enjoyed. Just right in quatrains with a sandwiched pentastich. I guess I should have risen early in order to have read it sooooner.
Is it an epitaph ? that, of course, is for the reader to decide - after all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I think, Chris, that you DID see all these things.
Kind regards, Alan

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Alan thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. Pleased this is a fav now. To be honest I was half in and out of sleep. Yes I did see it all though at some point. Not intended as an epitaph, but if the reader wants to interpret that way, then I am happy with it. Hope you have had a good Saturday. Will pay you a visit soon.

Chris

[light and ashes]

Great writing, love this piece.

[Chris Shaw]

Thanks for the encouraging review light and ashes. Appreciate your visit. All good wishes.

Chris

[light and ashes]

You are welcome, Chris. Love all the new stuff you have published lately.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you for the encouragement. Much appreciated.

[light and ashes]

You are very welcome, Chris.

[W. Barrett Munn]

Wonderful rhythm and imagery.

[Chris Shaw]

Hello WBM. Thank you for the encouragement here. Will respond soon to your pm. All good wishes.
read moreHello WBM. Thank you for the encouragement here. Will respond soon to your pm. All good wishes.

Chris

[Ranger Kessel]

Thus sounds very appreciative of life moving through time. I really enjoyed this writing.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Ranger for stopping by. Pleased you enjoyed this piece.

Chris

[Foxemerald]

I am not sure if you are referring to death or a velocity of movement through time and space as John below indicates. I'm guessing it's the latter judging by your word choice. An absolutely beautiful piece. Lovely meter poetry, almost perfect rhythm, with a wonderful picture painting. Nicely done!!

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Foxemerald. I appreciate the visit and your review. I was half in and out of sleep when these words came to me. Yes movement rather than death I guess. Have a great Friday.

Chris

[John]

A hurtling velocity that moves a body through space at a breakneck speed. The poem gives no time to express regret despite the title, I should have. We are hurled forward as if on a rocket, the end rhyme in the last two stanzas contribute to this giddy, out of control feeling. Yet the last word of the poem is the stinger in the tail, making the reader question what prompted this delerious journey in the first place.

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks for your time in reviewing this poem, half in and half out of sleep on a glorious morning, most of it missed :) I appreciate you stopping by John.

Chris

[andrew mitchell]

Hindsight is a curse where one reflects on the " I should ave's ". If we were not mortal we wouldn't have these thoughts. Nice work Chris.

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks Andrew, pleased you stopped by. All best wishes.

Chris

[Vertigo Cat1111]

My gosh, another beautiful piece of art. I apologize for being off and on, but I can’t wait to read your stuff. This is a endlessly gorgeous piece. Judging by the name, I thought it’d be a more melancholy poem but I prefer what you did so much more. It starts with a relatable feeling of wishing you had gotten up earlier and ect, a feeling I know very, very well! But the poem deepens and lightens and blossoms like a flower with gorgeous descriptions of dreams and youth and just- ah. I’m nearly speechless by this one. This poem inspires me and makes me feel happy. It makes me wanna dream and I hope one day I can dream about whatever wonderful place you wrote about. A paradise. Also, I love your new photo and the five line stanza! Poetry is better when you follow your muse(s)/heart.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Vertigo Cat. You have been missed, so it is great to see you back and with such an encouraging review as well. The pic is of my mum and dad on their engagement day back in 1950, they were both teenagers. My mum died a few months ago, so I am honouring their memory. Miss them both. All good wishes to you from across the pond.

Chris

[Vertigo Cat1111]

A beautiful woman. 💙 May she Rest In Peace.

[LJ]

Ah, this is fine! The description of what we miss when we don't get up at dawn (good ones) are eclipsed by the description of where you were instead. I soared with you. I saw what you saw. I feel so much better for it. I did get up at dawn and watch the sunrise. I hope tomorrow morning, I travel a bit of your path in the stars. About this poem, I hesitate to say this, but personally, I'd leave the last stanza off. It seems unneeded to me, and takes us back down. Well, even as I say that, maybe we need to come back down and realize we need not mourn. Thank you!
LJ

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you LJ for your thoughtful review and your suggestions. Always pleased to hear how the reader relates to my work. Delighted for your visit. Happy Sunday.

Chris

[danielle.]

Awesome poem! The imagery, a little light, a little darkness. The 5 line stanza in the middle threw me but hey, why not? Your poem, your rules. I really love this xx

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you for such an encouraging review. I used to obey the rules, now I do what my muse tells me :) I appreciate your visit ellemorell.

Chris