Miles Sans Smiles

(when you can't be where you want to be)

in thought flight

i wing westwards

where a cold cruel sea

tirelessly wears me down

in your winter's discontent

how lengthy it has been

how distant your warm smile

that broke ranks from your

much pined countenance

i watch as you breathe

gently into night's quiet

as a rose tinted light

glows softly from a lamp

as shadows are cast

in this far away room

my gloom dissipates

when i see you at rest

the rise and fall of your chest

your skin no longer etched

with unknown anxieties

causing torture

you are at peace

in sleep's embrace

a temporary release perhaps

no trace of fear to haunt

lid covered eyes

no cries as the familiar

turns into a stranger

i leave you with a brow kiss

and a heartfelt plea

don't miss me mum

as much as i miss you

Reviews

[W. Barrett Munn]

Chris, you have genuine talent. I know a problem I have (because I'm old and heard too much metric and/or rhyming in school) is being too literal. Your first two lines reminded me of my own difficulties. "in thought flight, i wing westwards"

From the poems I've read in literary journals, the thought you express often is put more like this: thought flying, on westward wing....cold cruel sea pounding tirelessly....I am broken...blah, blah, blah.

I'm not suggesting this for your poem, but wondering if you see in yourself the same kind of problem I find in my work?

There is literal and then there is suggestion - and then there is poetry. I don't know where I fall on that continuum but too close to literal, for sure.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you so much for your visit. To be honest, I go with the muse. If it comes out literal, then that's the way the cookie crumbles. Some of my stuff is truly poetic, some of it a mix of both. I guess it depends on my mood at the time and what I'm thinking about. I'm not seeking perfection or fame, I just write. Sometimes I make a consciousv effort to stay away from the first person, but if I've got something to say, it is difficult to stifle how it comes out. Thank you for stopping by with your thoughts. Your visit welcome and appreciated.

Chris

[Kim S.]

I still have my mom, but my father passed away when I was 9. I didn't really know him. Sorry about your mom...

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Beckies for your kind response and for your visit today. You are appreciated.

read moreThank you Beckies for your kind response and for your visit today. You are appreciated.

Chris

[Vertigo Cat1111]

As always, your poetry is breathtaking. This one is full of emotion bound to break someone down! It’s beautifully written and each word you used carefully adds the layers onto this poem. Thank you so much for sharing this, it really accurately depicts that aching, grieving feeling. So much care clearly went into this and thank you so much for sharing your poetry. Amazingly written as always. (:

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Vertigo Cat, thank you kindly for such an awesome review. Means alot. So pleased you stopped by. All the best.

Chris

[Lale]

I've always underestimated the power of human connections..
now I understand
after a few losses
Alas!

[Chris Shaw]

Ah yes Lale. The losses are hard to deal with. Time softens the grief, but you never forget. Thank you my friend.

Chris

[Lale]

No, Chris. Thank YOU.

[Coyote Poetry]

I lost my mother in December 2021 and my father in late 2020. Been a heavy year with the lost many family members dear Chris.
"i leave you with a brow kiss
and a heartfelt plea
don't miss me mum
as much as i miss you"
I do understand the above lines. Thank you dear friend for sharing the poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks Coyote. That must have been difficult for you losing your Mum and Dad so close together. Lost my Dad 30 years ago and now my mum is fading fast with dementia. So sad.

Chris

[Ada]

An aging parent is always difficult to reconcile especially if Alzheimer's or dementia comes into play...their memories have been stolen. Nice writing on the subject.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Ada, their memories gave indeed been stolen and that is a tragedy. I appreciate your visits.

Chris

[Robert Trakofler]

oh, the torture of not being able to see them and touch them:( The true evil of Covid is how it stole from our humanity the connection of loved ones and friends!

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Bunny, you are so right. Covid has also robbed us. Many thank yous. Happy that you are on the mend dear friend.

Chris

[AYVID N]

We watch so helplessly as precious parents age, as time steals them of their strength, beauty and persona and they become ghosts of their former selves. Plagued by the fear of the unknown where they're headed, they need us in their most vulnerable time but sometimes life gets in the way and we can only think of them from afar and that's so heartbreaking. Yet, they're missed so much and treasured so completely. My mother is almost 80 now and I see the stark changes, the loss of her smile, the fading of her vibrance and the unraveling of her once enviable composure. The anxiety in her is so palpable and which I can do little to assuage. I relate totally to your words.
Full of deep caring and abiding love for your mother, they touch the reader so.

[Chris Shaw]

My mother will soon be 89. It is so difficult dealing with the changes that dementia and old age bring. Living distance from her makes the whole situation worse. I can tell dear DIVYA by your beautiful response, brimful of empathy your understanding. I wish you strength when it comes to your own mum.

Chris

[AYVID N]

Thanks dear Chris! Here's something that's common to us and I'm so happy to share my feelings on it. You have a lovely day!

[Unspoken poet]

very heartfelt, emotional read....

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving a review Unspoken Poet.

Chris

[KWP]

must be terribly hard being so far from your mom. My father in law has had cancer twice - the second time is incurable but he has been having treatment for the past 7 years or so. He is almost 91, an amazing human. I remember he once told me that a ninety year old views life much differently than people half his age, he has seen it all, two world wards in fact, he has lived life and watched it and cherished it all. As I write this I think to myself that my boys will both know that I truly lived in every trajectory. truely grasped at life and so when I am older and keep in my own thoughts they will carry with them always - I was one who actually lived.

Your poem is gorgeous and conjures a great many things - most of all precious relationships. Remind your mum of the goodness in the world - I think that is truly all we need.

[Chris Shaw]

Such a lovely review KWP, thank you so much and for the reminder to my mum when I see her. I'll be sure to tell her.

Chris

[sigourney]

I think this is relatable for so many people- This is detailed, but not excessive, and heartfelt... Your poems in general are beautiful, Chris and I think you should keep it up. :) 100/100

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you dear Sigourney for stopping by and leaving your thoughts. Pleased to have a visit from you. Happy new year.

Chris