Disenchanted

(reflecting on a once revered place and memory)

shadows fall upon meadow grass

where once from atop a hill

sol burned on rolled bales of hay

.

august baked in noon blaze heat

replete with happiness was i, from

top knot hair to bare soles of feet

.

golden moments to remember

when black crows in random rows

became musical notes of song

.

how this valley sang of summer

from gentle slopes sweeping down

to where death's stain now lingers

.

fingers will forever point to where

a blade in winter flashed cold steel

plunged in anger into tender flesh

.

perpetrators all three doomed

young lives brewing in ruin and one

adolescent mourned in disbelief

.

      grief pervades our valley

Reviews

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I love so much of the language in this piece:

"when black crows in random rows"

"fingers will forever point to where
a blade in winter flashed cold steel
plunged in anger into tender flesh"

That being said, this is apparently referencing the murder of one child by three others. Such a tragedy for everyone concerned.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Linda. I appreciate your visit and your thoughts.

Chris

[Melinda McQueen]

A sadness is found here. I can kinda relate. I had a place filled with memories of long ago and one day the house was burned down due to illegal sttff. (we moved years before._
You wrote a meaningful poem.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you for your visit Melinda and for sharing. All the best.

Chris

[Melinda McQueen]

You're welcome, Chris.

[Dave]

Sounds like you're reminiscing over places over and times long past. It is often very sad to see the changes that have been wrought. It's interesting that memory allows us if we wish, to remember the goodness of those times and places.
Praying that all is well with you and yours - Dave

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Dave. It wasn't that long ago that our valley was a delight. Earlier this year teenagers were involved in knife crime which resulted in the death of a 13 year old boy. That place will never be the same for me. Forever steeped now in sadness. Appreciating your visit.

Chris

[Dave]

It is a shame that our fondest memories can so often be ruined by such senseless tragedies.
Take care - Dave

[ABDUL WAHAB]

Good poem that makes one nostalgic.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you for the review Abdul. Your thoughts appreciated.

Chris

[Tina]

Death seemed to swoop in like a storm rolling into this lovely valley .. what inspired it?

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Tina. I think you now have the answer. So sad at what happened here.


read moreThank you Tina. I think you now have the answer. So sad at what happened here.


Chris

[Poetic Beauty]

This makes me think of a tragic death that has come way too soon. The imagery is vivid and clear of the surroundings when one is reflecting on an event that has forever haunted memories

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you for your insightful review PB. I appreciate your thoughts.

Chris

[Poetic Beauty]

You are welcome

[Intothemilkyway]

The poem gives a clear image of the memory. I like how the month of August is being represented. Being one of the hottest months it shows the end of the summer but also the desire of it not wanting to end and to make a replay.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you intothemilkyway for leaving your thoughts. Pleased you called on my page.

Chris

[Crowley]

Read like a period movie, moving and delicious. I like the use of the language, and the building angst, and finally the last line that brings everything together. Wonderful writing.

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks Crowley. Pleased it read like a movie, I try hard to build up pictures. Appreciate you stopping by.

Chris

[Fran Marie]

Oh my how green your valley must
have been indeed; once singing of summer.
and all that is good and well until the cold
steel blade of doom and
gloom plunges into flesh bringing
much to be disenchanted about..
great descriptives form this well penned poem..nice work Chris

[Chris Shaw]

Yes indeed my valley was green and that's how I prefer to remember it. Beautiful place to walk, and now it is cast in shadow. Thank you Fran Marie for your thoughts.

Chris

[Fran Marie]

As you should
you're welcome dear Chris

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

"when black crows in random rows
became musical notes of song"
This is such a beautifully rendered image within this sorrow filled poem. Incredible work Chris. It leaves the reader pondering the places they are familiar with that hold such sadness as well.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Carlos. My special place was the scene of unspeakable violence in January. A 13 year old boy was knifed to death by others his own age. It beggars belief. Thank you for your encouragement. Take care and all good wishes Carlos.

Chris

[Shelley Warner]

I don't know what happened there, but I think of all the valleys and places of beauty that are marred with the stain of death and injustice. You beautifully contrasted the lovely memories of the valley with the grief that was enacted upon it. It makes me think of a book I just read: Sycamore Row by John Grisham

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you dear Shelley. Teenage knife crime. A 13 year old boy died at the hands of others his age. I will never be able to enjoy the peace of that place again without remembering the violence. All the best.

Chris