Disenchanted

(reflecting on a once revered place and memory)

shadows fall upon meadow grass

where once from atop a hill

sol burned on rolled bales of hay

.

august baked in noon blaze heat

replete with happiness was i, from

top knot hair to bare soles of feet

.

golden moments to remember

when black crows in random rows

became musical notes of song

.

how this valley sang of summer

from gentle slopes sweeping down

to where death's stain now lingers

.

fingers will forever point to where

a blade in winter flashed cold steel

plunged in anger into tender flesh

.

perpetrators all three doomed

young lives brewing in ruin and one

adolescent mourned in disbelief

.

      grief pervades our valley

Reviews

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I love so much of the language in this piece:

"when black crows in random rows"

"fingers will forever point to where
a blade in winter flashed cold steel
plunged in anger into tender flesh"

That being said, this is apparently referencing the murder of one child by three others. Such a tragedy for everyone concerned.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Linda. I appreciate your visit and your thoughts.

Chris

[wordman]

world is not how it was back then,crime spewing everywhere,last days i guess

[Chris Shaw]

So right Ron, life is pretty cheap these days and youngsters killing youngsters is tragic. Thanks for stopping by.

Chris

[wordman]

you`re welcome

[Earl Schumacker]

Hi Chris,
I am so sorry that I do not read more of your works. This is a gem. It is somber but that is a good thing. I love the 3 line stanza that begins, "august baked in noon blaze heat." The entire poem is great. I'm not just saying that. This is really good stuff. On the subject of governments; I wish I lived in Sweden. They have not had a formal war in over 400 years. No one wears masks. They understand that the virus is going to do what thee virus is going to do. The people there have some freedom. They spend money on books not bombs. Have a wonderful day. Earl

[Chris Shaw]

Earl, so pleased to have a visit from you. Yes this poem is sombre, such a sad event so close to home, Really appreciate you stopping by.

Chris

[Gee]

Much knife crime now, had two young lads stabbed to death not far from us in the recent past, one of them cradled into death by the son of one of my carpenters.
Gone are the days when you could settle your difference with the Queensbury rules and be buddies after it.

[Chris Shaw]

We surely live in violent times Gee. Makes me pine for the old days. We had less materially, but morally, we were certainly richer. So sad now, I haven't been able to go back to this place. The memory of it has become tainted. Have a great Sunday. All good here and I hope the same for you and your dearest.

Chris

[MomzillaNC]

It's a terrible thing to know such pain and destruction pervades our world and the lives of our children. That those children would be that source of unending pain is tragic degradation of humanity.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you so much for checking in and sharing your thoughts. You are appreciated.

Chris

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome.

[sharonlee]

Amid picturesque descriptions a tale so haunting I felt chills down my legs... vividly told and deeply moving.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Sharon for stopping by with your thoughts. You are appreciated.

Chris

[sharonlee]

Most welcome

[Dylan Macadham]

Powerful!
A sinister twist, well crafted.
Enchanting, disenchanting, life-affirming :)

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Dylan for stopping by. Your visit and review are appreciated. All the best.

Chris

[Zoe Richardson]

It takes only one selfish act of destruction to spoil something beautiful. The poignant longing in these words is a tangible thing. I could see the valley, the late summer hay harvested and burning in the heat. And the cry of a young life cut short. This one will linger. Btw, my father read me Washington Irving and Edgar Allen Poe from his college textbooks when I was four. The imparting of the love of words is a sacred thing.

[Chris Shaw]

Yes, one selfish act and that beautiful place has turned sour. Thanks for your understanding and for checking in.

Chris

[Andrew C Powell]

You hung on to the very moments that end the frost. And Here Comes the Sun. You know me

[Chris Shaw]

What a lovely surprise to find you here Andy. I hope you post some of your own work. You have brought the sun with you and I thank you for that.

Cassie of old, now posting boldly with my own name :)

[LostSage]

It sounds to me like you live
close to the land which like
the rest of us does not make you
immune to life's difficulties.
Keep writing I will keep reading

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you for stopping by and leaving a review. Much appreciated.

Chris

[Ruth]

Such a tragedy woven within this poem...such depths of sadness yet so pristinely emoted...brilliant piece of poetry, took me many places Chris...

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you so much for your visit Ruth and lovely response. Been a while since I saw you on the forum, so this visit makes it even more special. Hope all is good in your world. Keep safe, well and happy.

Chris

[Ruth]

Hi Chris, you are always welcome :) My reading glasses broke so I had to get new ones lol I am doing good though...hope all is good with you too - stay safe and well :)

[Chris Shaw]

All reasonable here. Glad to know you are OK. You made my early morning brighter, by stopping by :)