Disenchanted

(reflecting on a once revered place and memory)

shadows fall upon meadow grass

where once from atop a hill

sol burned on rolled bales of hay

.

august baked in noon blaze heat

replete with happiness was i, from

top knot hair to bare soles of feet

.

golden moments to remember

when black crows in random rows

became musical notes of song

.

how this valley sang of summer

from gentle slopes sweeping down

to where death's stain now lingers

.

fingers will forever point to where

a blade in winter flashed cold steel

plunged in anger into tender flesh

.

perpetrators all three doomed

young lives brewing in ruin and one

adolescent mourned in disbelief

.

      grief pervades our valley

Reviews

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I love so much of the language in this piece:

"when black crows in random rows"

"fingers will forever point to where
a blade in winter flashed cold steel
plunged in anger into tender flesh"

That being said, this is apparently referencing the murder of one child by three others. Such a tragedy for everyone concerned.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Linda. I appreciate your visit and your thoughts.

Chris

[Orphic dreamer]

Words of mine shall not express how elegantly you write. The intense caliber expressed in each line is unparalleled.
“ august baked in noon blaze heat”
“ fingers will forever point to where
a blade in winter”
Magnificently woven as always!

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you for this lovely review. Really encouraging for me. Pleased you enjoyed the read and I'm thankful you stopped by.

Chris

[lightsong]

a true masterpiece dear Chris, perfectly written, perfectly felt, your amazing outstanding phrases painted your heart so sincerely, the beauty, the sadness, the warmth and coldness, a memory that is gone but still alive, You took our breath away and made us living/feeling it for real with some of your gorgeous expressions.

[lightsong]

one thing about your poetry that makes it have the power on us, it feels like your mind and heart always in a state of peace and calm when You write, even if about pain, this comes only from a person who is thoughtful and wise know how to deal with it all and reflected with beautiful serenity in their poetry, and that's is You Chris.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you dear lightsong. When my muse visits, she often brings calm and understated with her. I am thankful for that because poetry is a refuge for me. Thank you so much for leaving your beautiful footprint on my page. That means alot.

Chris

[lightsong]

You and your Muse are so welcome :) lovely avatar dear Chris, a Rose surrounded by flowers ❤️

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you dear lightsong:)

[Unspoken poet]

such a sad emotional write here. Very well written and expressed. I can feel this

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Unspoken poet for checking this one out. Much appreciated.

Chris

[Eilis]

It is so sad when young people choose to perpetrate violence. Not only sad for the victims, but sad for them because of what that means for the rest of their days. There was an awful story in Ireland a few years ago of a young girl who was targeted by two boys in her class and they murdered her like it was some kind of game in a local park. You have to wonder if these young people understand what they are doing half the time. But as you relay in your lyrical poetry, it is not only the people involved in the act, but the entire community that suffers. Fear pervades and the places we once loved to visit become something completely different. Where I live, almost every park has these stains of violence left behind. You feel haunted when you step out into it, but you also learn to separate yourself from the darkness to some degree, and try to find a light within it. It is never easy--and your poem expresses the far-reaching consequences of this reality so well. Your poetry always touches me, Chris.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Eilis for your thoughtful review and share. It seems that there is violence everywhere these days and it is being perpetrated by younger and younger people. A tragedy.

Chris

[Susan 🦋]

I grew up in inner city Chicago. I was bad back then... a complete war zone now. I lost friends and classmates to gang violence. Nothing is the same after. Your poem speaks to me of that change.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Susan. Sorry to hear you experienced that violence. Really appreciate you stopping by.
read moreThank you Susan. Sorry to hear you experienced that violence. Really appreciate you stopping by.

Chris

[Kerra]

There is a lot of emotion through out our write, well expresssed.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Kerra for stopping by. All good wishes.

Chris

[barleygirl]

When I lived in town, there was a popular nearby city park where a couple different murders happened while I was living there. The blood stains on the sidewalk lasted for years & I never failed to imagine the young lives that ended there, years after those shootings, walking my dogs there. It is very haunting for those of us who are empaths to see our natural favorite places drenched in someone's blood (((HUGS)))

[Chris Shaw]

I haven't been able to go back Margie. I'm not the only one either. Such a pity. Thanks for checking this one out

Chris

[Miss Sharon]

Very well written and filled with emotion. ~Sharon

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you dear Sharon. I appreciate you stopping by.

Chris

[Lydia Shutter]

Oh my, Chris, reads like a crime story! When a place that used to bring peace suddenly is besmirched with a crime, it is the crime that people remember. How sad a young person was taken...and how sad for the entire community! Dark poetry, beautifully written. Lydi**

[Chris Shaw]

Yes Lydi**, a stain on a special place. Can't bring myself to go back and visit yet. Can't help feeling that the toll on the emotions will be too heavy. The peace and tranquility have been shattered. Really appreciate you stopping by.

Chris

[keith]

such are the days ... thoughtful presence chris

[Chris Shaw]

Thanks ABG, sadly a sign of the times. Pleased you stopped by. All the best.

Chris