Disenchanted

(reflecting on a once revered place and memory)

shadows fall upon meadow grass

where once from atop a hill

sol burned on rolled bales of hay

.

august baked in noon blaze heat

replete with happiness was i, from

top knot hair to bare soles of feet

.

golden moments to remember

when black crows in random rows

became musical notes of song

.

how this valley sang of summer

from gentle slopes sweeping down

to where death's stain now lingers

.

fingers will forever point to where

a blade in winter flashed cold steel

plunged in anger into tender flesh

.

perpetrators all three doomed

young lives brewing in ruin and one

adolescent mourned in disbelief

.

      grief pervades our valley

Reviews

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I love so much of the language in this piece:

"when black crows in random rows"

"fingers will forever point to where
a blade in winter flashed cold steel
plunged in anger into tender flesh"

That being said, this is apparently referencing the murder of one child by three others. Such a tragedy for everyone concerned.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Linda. I appreciate your visit and your thoughts.

Chris

[Stella Armour]

Oh, it is beauty that has been scarred for ever.

How tragic when a young life is taken in this way Chris ; i can't begin to imagine how his mother must feel about the place ... :(

[Chris Shaw]

It has cast a shadow on a once beautiful place. I have only been back once, to see a memorial tree in his memory. Thanks Stella.

[moog-drika]

Your poem beautifully captures the essence of both euphoria and heartache. The imagery of shadows falling on the meadow grass, the scorching heat of August, and the crows turning into musical notes transported me to that perfect setting. But as the write goes, it turns darker.
Why don't happy moments last longer? Why does the spirit of misfortune linger for good?
The contrast between the golden moments of joy and the tragic event that unfolded in the valley is incredibly impactful. It left me feeling a mix of serenity and sorrow.
Love it.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you moog-drika. You picked up the contrasts here well. A beautiful place now tainted by darkness.

Chris

[Sami Khalil]

A sad event indeed that caused the poet to reflect on the fragility of life and the smear of the place done in reality and place.
Very touching dear Chris.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Sami. It is a sad story indeed of the fragility of life. Ten minutes after leaving the safety of home, his young life taken. I appreciate you.

Chris

[Sami Khalil]

OMG! You are welcome Chris

[Neville]

certain things, whether they are beautiful and golden, or conversely, dreadful and dark tend to get lodged in our memory banks .. not everyone is able to recall them at will .. poets even when they may have languished over a particular word or aspect of their emerging work tend to have that special gift .. and here, I both sense and fear is an excellent example of such a recovery and subsequent sharing of fine art .. Neville

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Neville. I can not yet walk there as I will have to pass the spot where a 14 year old died, ten minutes after saying goodbye to his mum. He's gone to pastures new and the other three are incarcerated and will be for sometime. However, I will go there again and I'm waiting for the end of August to see the hay bales and the crows.

Chris

[Neville]

blimey .. no bloomin wonder .. I guessed something like that may have inspired these words Chris

[Lisasview]

Death and nature seem to go hand in hand so using nature as a metaphor is so wonderful.
Yes life can be cruel..but it is up to us to find the opening to happiness.
Once again I really liked your in-depth poem Chris.
Have a lovely day,
Lisa

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Lisa. Hope all is good with you. So appreciate you stopping by.to read my efforts.

Chris

[jennifer little]

interesting poem great write keep up the good work

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Jennifer. All the best.

Chris

[Patricia]

I have been moving backwards in your poetry and for over week I only had access to like the last five or so. So forgive me for not returning favors for you. I’m not sure what happened but your list is back and now I have to find where I left off, not an easy task when you have pages of reviews so I may be reviewing more than once as I go along but I will try not to. As for this piece it is such an emotionally driven and strong piece of writing from you but such is life and death and it inspires us and it must be written. You do it with such grace that even the harshest of life is given beauty.

[Chris Shaw]

Aw, you sweetheart. You are so appreciated. Thanks for the encouragement ((Patricia)).

read moreAw, you sweetheart. You are so appreciated. Thanks for the encouragement ((Patricia)).

Chris

[M. J. Smith]

Tears burn on my cheeks. Anger Sears my heart. How can such cruelty exist? Is there still hope, Chris?

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you MJS. Yes we live in a cruel world. Good to see you.

Chris

[Ada]

Nice use of nature as metaphor to talk about death. Separation is never easy and your reader is reminded of that in this piece.

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks Ada, pleased you enjoyed the read. All the best.

Chris