There But For Fortune

gun metal sky weeps

dying in blood red farm fields

poppies breathe their last 

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I sang this song hundreds of times, starting with one of my first guitar lessons in 6th grade, but I had not thought about these sentiments as being a message about wartime. I'd always thought of it as the ever-growing divide between rich & poor. But I love your interpretation & how it's expressed in vivid imagery (((HUGS)))

[Chris Shaw]

It's a beautiful song Margie and I am pleased that you like the interpretation of my lines. Have a great Wednesday.

Chris

[Azifwecare]

This poem took on a few different meanings for me and I'm at a loss for words but I did like it. I admire how you say so much with very few words. I read this last night and it stayed with me.
"gun metal sky weeps" ominous, but in all packed a mighty powerful punch for me.

[Chris Shaw]

It's a senryu. That is three lines of 17 syllables in total 5/7/5. The idea is to get as much imagery and impact across in a great deal of brevity. Few words which say a lot. Many thank yous for checking in on my work. It is good to see you here Silent1. All good wishes.

Chris

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

“gun metal sky weeps“- powerful imagery…
The destructive impact of war, drugs, death, disease, famine, violence, all called out in your perfect 5-7-5 dear Chris. Any day it could strike any of us……Yes, “When will they ever learn?” Sooner than later I hope.

[Chris Shaw]

Lovely to find you here Annette. I do hope you and family are keeping well. Many thanks for checking this little senryu out which came to me while at the kitchen sink. Funny how the muse works. You never know when:) Sending all the best.

Chris

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Yes dear Chris, she whispers at the strangest times… love this little one. Take care and be well my friend!:)))

[Relic]

Reminds me of Children's crusade by Sting. Great poem, Chris.

[Chris Shaw]

I'll have to check that one out. Not familiar with it, but I do like Sting. Many thanks Relic.

Chrus

[John the Baptist]

I know your Remembrance Day is not until November, but this one made me think of John McCrae's "In Flanders Fields." There but for fortune go all the living.

[Chris Shaw]

You are right John, it is in November but this one arrived early. While I was cleaning the kitchen, in fact. Didn't want to lose the moment.

Chris

[Intothemilkyway]

Such a good impersonation of a real life event.
Good job Chris.

[Chris Shaw]

Love that you checked this one out. Thank you intothemilkyway. Your thoughts appreciated.
read moreLove that you checked this one out. Thank you intothemilkyway. Your thoughts appreciated.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

every line is so impactful..."gun metal sky"
that is a metaphor that just grips me so hard.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Jacob. Pleased you feel each line holds up on its own. Many thanks.

Chris

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Powerful, emotional little write that speaks volumes. So well penned. Tyfs

[Chris Shaw]

Thanks for that very encouraging review Cyprian. All the best.

Chris

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Wow. What a powerful statement.


every now and then nature's fury becomes too powerful.

[Chris Shaw]

Many thank yous Dale. Appreciate your thoughts. All good wishes.

Chris

[red93]

Excellent Chris, strong anti-War theme, and nice use of the Joan Baez classic in the title. 5-7-5 has its own magic certainly.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you so much. Pleased you understood the title. I am a huge fan of Joan Baez. I had six attempts at getting this one the way I was happy with it. The final result is nothing like the first version where I was talking about silken skirts. Thanking you for your visit and support.

Chris