If it Don't Smell Like Roses

(i don't suppose I'm gonna like it)

as a young child

i couldn't stand that stink

of fish steaming on the

back burner for our

cats dinner

neither did i approve of

plasticine for similar

reasons, as sickly sweet

aroma lingered on fingers

to make me feel sick

so when miss zycker

instructed the class to be

creative my hands found

themselves deep in my

school dress pockets

where they refused to leave

i would not be moved

not tempted by birds nests

and eggs or slithery snakes

or the pummelling and rolling

of different colours

i stayed stubborn to the end

contrary me when it comes

to smell how about you?

and him indoors has just

opened a can of sardines

can you hear me scream?

Reviews

[Lorry]

Ha! Boiled cabbage does it to me, and touching butter or mayonaise, or oh, I'll need to make a list and give a copy to my therapist.
Remember Take Hart? That childhood show must have gave you nightmares when Morph appeared. While we were all laughing and smiling, your Mum would have been trying to peel you off the ceiling with a mop handle 😀
Ahh, poor Chris... But, too funny 😀

[Chris Shaw]

I think we should start a club. Boiled cabbage is another one that makes me wretch. Thanks for the heads up. Trying to push mayonnaise down the plug hole is nothing short of orrible. Yes I do remember Tony Hart and morph :)
I'll probably recall a few more but I'm just about to drop off. Many thank yous Lorry.

Chris

[Neville]

something fishy going on .. it seems we share similar olfactory dislikes .. I have so many that I nearly caused someone's granny to have a heart seizure when I tapped her on the shoulder at a bus stop to ask the time .. it seems she took fright at the gas mask I used to walk around wearing .. oh' n maybe one day I'll let on about when I was arrested walking past a Securicor van in the high street .. a relatable lament if ever there woz .. Neville

[Chris Shaw]

I have a very sensitive nose. Be sure to give the tinned fish a miss, she says. Thanks for calling on this oldie. The poem says thank you too:)

Chris

[Neville]

my very first job upon leaving school & before starting uni was at an international aromatic & flavourings lab .. I worked on developing Lift lemon tea which has never been near a real one .. I also worked on the smell for a brand of shrimp paste .. N :)

[kitty]

I must admit that certain odours put me right off. Not only food, just things. Lovely piece. Thanks for sharing

[Chris Shaw]

Thanks kitty. Some smells I can certainly do without. Thanks for this visit.

Chris

[kitty]

Keep sending , posting always a pleasure to read! Thanks

[Coyote Poetry]

Hello dear Chris. I will eat anything. Sardines and crackers. One of my favorite snacks. Grandchildren run away after I open. Now a dirty cat litter box. I can't take. I hope you are doing well, have some fun and be safe.
Coyote

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Coyote. You made me smile when talking about your grandchildren and sardines:) And of course cat litter trays as well. I understand that. All is OK here. Hope the same for you and thank you for your visit.

Chris

[Coyote Poetry]

Hello dear Chris and I hope you are doing well. You are welcome my friend.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

My dad loved sardines. I finally overcame my fear from the smell, and tried them. Now sardines or an anchovy pie are a delight.
This is simply a slice of life. One of those comfortable poems that is like a visit on a Sunday afternoon with grandma or grandpa telling stories...
story poems are as much poetry as abstract Black Mountain poetry and there is definitely an audience for it.
If we aren't enraptured by it, or dislike it...no one has chained us to the poem and made us read it.
We are free to just move on.
I enjoyed this write, and it is a nice departure from the heaviness of most, including my own writing which (admittedly) often fails to provoke a smile.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks Jacob for calling and leaving a response which gave me a smile. Maybe I need to open some sardine cans myself, to get used to the smell:) They do say by facing stuff head on, it can have a positive effect. It reminds me how I overcame my fear of dandy long legs as a child. Once I actually held one in my hands and got used to the tickling sensation the fear went. A light hearted poem, so pleased you understood that and most others too.

Chris

[Erudite]

I'm amazed at how many reviews you've gotten with such a slapshod poem. Many of us would be insulted had you asked us to read it.

This seems set up. I write in golden ink, yet i get no reviews (don't say it's cause I'm mean cuz this is my first mean review.)

But then there are those like you who write about smelly fish, or tasty cookies, and they get tons of reviews and get rated 90 out of 100.

As if it's my creative taste that's off.

Pretending to lose is still losing, everyone should know.

[Chris Shaw]

So sorry your golden ink doesn't appear to be appreciated by others. Do you review the work of others or am I the lucky one here? You are more likely to get reviews if you review the work of others. Please note I do not force anyone to read my stuff, that is entirely up to them. This is a light hearted poem. Some people call it humour. Maybe your is lacking. Thanks for the visit.

Chris

[Erudite]

You were the lucky one to be the recipient of my bitterness that evening. Sorry. I was incredibly drunk and at the same time cynical about how many reviews I've been getting lately. You wrote a lovely poem, please don't take my drunken words to heart

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you for returning. I really appreciate that. I hope you get some more reviews.

[Laurent Hardesty]

I love your name Christina. Nerves. Fish have Nerves. Nerves.

[Chris Shaw]

Oops, sorry for causing any offence and upsetting fish. Clearly this was not your cuppa tea eh?

[Davidgeo]

I think you should listen to more stand up comedy.

Your writing is already top flight I just think,

.... good stand up comedy is spectacular. ; )

[Chris Shaw]

You are right. Stand up comedy is spectacular. Thank you.

Chris

[Davidgeo]

Doug Stanhope. For my money, he's the best stand up alive in america at the moment. It's crass and such but... he's the best living stand up comedian in america at the moment.

[Chris Shaw]

Will check him out. Not heard of him.

[Davidgeo]

He might be from america but, he's really just an objectively funny human being who happens to speak english. Funny is universal in my opinion.
This is a pretty decent special of his...
everything he does is pretty solid though.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=46hP3222TDA

[Davidgeo]

I hope he wasn't too nasty for you; sometimes I forget that he's a little over the top with his content. My apologies if I made a bad recommendation.

[Kent Rawski]

What's the name of that cheese smells and tastes like cat crap,?

[Chris Shaw]

Probably smells like Stilton. Actually tastes better if you can bring yourself to get near to it :) Thank you Kent.

Chris

[Papaya]

My smell was hyper sensitive when I was pregnant. So I can relate. :)

[Chris Shaw]

Oh yes, my taste was sensitive too. I ate cold rice pudding out of the tin. It had to be in the tin mind for that mettallic additional flavour :) Thanks Ana.

[barleygirl]

I love how you come to your conclusions in such a round-about way, exactly like kids often do. The whole way thru, I was wondering where this was going. I used to sniff playdoh (what you call plasticine) . . . was known to put a chunk up a nostril just so I could savor it all day. Always having been a dog aficionada, I must admit to sniffing around quite a bit, so we must be coming from opposite places. I'm sure other kids thought I stunk in school, coming from a farm with 9 kids & two long-toiling parents. I guess when you stink, you don't notice other stinks. Thanks for a contrasting point of view if there ever was one! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Chris Shaw]

Margie, fancy putting a chunk uo your nostrils. Now that is quite something. Little kids do have a fascination for moses. My sister stuck an artificial flower up hers when she was three. She had to have it removed at the hospital and yes she stank :))

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sorry to intrude here, but Oh God, Playdoh....
I never made a damn thing with it...just sat there and sniffed it...one of the best smells ever.

[Chris Shaw]

You didn't touch it either because you were in awe of it :)) We should and could have been sitting side by side. Me with a frown on my face and my hands in my pockets and you looking like an angel with your eyes closed but your nostrils wide open. Love it Jacob. Can picture it clearly. Ha ha.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you and i and margie as kids sitting around staring at the playdoh, daring each other to be the first one to touch it and try to make something from it.
and minutes turned to hours and hours to days...and here we are now...and nothing was ever made of it, by any of us.

[Chris Shaw]

Ha ha. So funny :))

[barleygirl]

I ducked away for 4 days & now delighted to read this fun thread! Glad the playdoh rings your bell, too! *wink! wink!*