As The Crow Flies So Do I

(missing my mum in a nursing home two hundred miles away)

if i curse in verse

would you find it 

out of order?

.

like the borders

of the counties separating

me from my mother?

.

another day, another day

passes and another

no hope for me or

my dearly loved mother

.

sitting in the same old chair

staring at four walls

no visitors allowed

it's the virus you see

two hundred miles away

might as well be three

.

come anyway she says

i don't care if i die

though then i have to explain

and that causes me pain

to tell her i could give

it to others or they could

give it to me

.

conversation on the phone

is stilted unless i do the

talking

.

we are walking on a path

to nowhere it seems

she visits me sometimes

but only in dreams

.

it's easier there, the way

she used to be, dealing with

a fragmented mind

old age is dreadfully unkind

the source of much misery

.

when will i see my mother?

when will i see her again?

maybe you won't

says that inner voice

nagging away, torturing me

maybe, just maybe

you have to accept

that as a reality

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I love your openness & honesty in discussing how this impacts your everyday life. Your story is so straightforward & poignant, there's no need for anything witty or clever to get your point across . . . you just mow us down by showing us how difficult & confusing & sad this can be for the two of you . . . the unspoken implication being "times millions of people" . . . *sigh!* Fondly, Margie

[Chris Shaw]

Thanks Margie so much. Good news is I have heard I can visit. Probably next week for 45 mins. It's 200 miles there, but it will be worth it.

Chris

[barleygirl]

I'm really glad for you & I hope everything works out well for all!

[Coyote Poetry]

I moved back to Michigan in 2000 after I left the service to take care of my dear grandmother. She raised me and my sister. I dislike distance too. I hope you can visit your mother and everyone can stay healthy and strong. Thank you dear Chris for sharing your amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[Chris Shaw]

Still no visits at the moment, but I am hoping that the Nursing Homes will find a way soon for the odd visit. I miss my mum so much and she isn't good with telephone calls. They are a struggle for her. Thank you Coyote. Take care.

Chris

[Coyote Poetry]

I hope she is doing well and you are welcome dear Chris.

[Chris Shaw]

I have just heard that I can go and visit her soon. A short visit, but it will be very welcome.

[Robert Trakofler]

I so understand how you feel in this Chris I have a person of whom I have for many years cared for I had the unfortunate task of having to find her a place that was safer for her after she had several falls and almost died I haven't seen her in many months, I stand outside her window and drop care packages off at the home but I know she is terribly lonely and that feeling of maybe she won't ever get to have that touch again of a caring heart, breaks mine!

[Chris Shaw]

So many more of our old folk will die from the lack of human touch and loneliness rather than the virus itself. Sad times Bunny. I understand you so well. Many thank yous for the visit to me.

Chris

[Miss Sharon]

Such a sad commentary of these times in which we live. Your post is so very well written and I feel your pain. I now say a prayer for you and your mother. ~Sharon

[Chris Shaw]

Sharon, so many are in a similar position. I thank you for your kind thoughts and your visit.

Chris

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

What an agony this emotional poem expresses dear Chris. Of all the crimes of the current situation, maybe this one is the worst. Yes, curse-because it is cursed to take comfort away from the sick and dying. I am so sorry that a good heart like yours is going through such pain. You suffer more than she does. Your terse, angry lines and heartbreaking questions are so true and so deeply moving. "When will I see my mother..when will I see her again?"-questions shouted by so many, into the void that is now. Inhumane, heinous crimes You voice the despair and the need and the wrath and the helplessness authentically. I wish you strength and comfort my friend. Your mother knows that your heart is with her. Blessings sent to you both and all who are suffering.

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Annette you capture my questions and mood so well. So many are in this awful situation at the moment. What difficult times we are living through. I am so pleased to have a visit from you. Take good care of yourself and many thanks.

Chris

[Jimmy Yetts]

While life has its rewarding moments, it is also--often--incredibly sad.
Most of us have few answers when true tragedy strikes--especially, when all
our possible solutions seem like blind alleys.
Heartbreaking, Chris; simply, heartbreaking.

[Chris Shaw]

So many in similar position Jimmy. A universal theme. Thank you for your understanding. Your visits akways appreciated.

Chris

[James Paranormal]

The torture in this poem is in every line, the feeling is so overwhelming, and touching too, this is the Hallmark of a great poem, one that instantly takes you in, and makes you part of the story. Loved it!

[Chris Shaw]

You say the nicest things. I am grateful for your uplifting review on a painful topic for me and also for many others at the moment who find themselves in this awful situation. It is a form of torture and we don't know how long it will last for. Special thanks for your visit Lost.

Chris

[Fairy Khan]

Chris, this made me so sad. I could feel your predicament while going through the verses of this poem. I hope you get to see your mother soon. Stay safe.

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Fairy, good to see you and thank you so much for those wishes. All the best to you.

read moreDear Fairy, good to see you and thank you so much for those wishes. All the best to you.

Chris

[emmajoy]

Chris, this is one of the saddest pieces written about the awfulness of the hell we're living in. ' Hear this wretched feeling and fear so often on the helpline, reality hits hard.. but acceptance doesn't and it hurts. Will hush for a change and say thank you for.. every word.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Em. I speak for the many who find themselves in these circumstances and know how painful this separation is. Yes, I can imagine many on helplines come across this sort of sadness. Thank you for what you do to ease that burden and for your valued visit here.

Chris

[emmajoy]

Still miss our little mum.. goes back a while but.. loved her to bits, still do. Hugs for your day, Chris.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Em. Will be trying to speak to my mum today. That's if she answers her phone. Quite often she doesn't in her confusion. Yes that separation from our dearly departed is a constant ache. Have a good day yourself ((.))

[emmajoy]

Could say more but won't... just sending gentle thoughts.

[Chris Shaw]

Lovely, may your day be awash with them.

[gram linski]

a sad sign of the times, Chris but you deal with the subject with your usual tender style and those memories and dreams will out live us mere mortals great poem

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks gram for calling on this one and leaving your mark on my page. Hope you are ok. Your thoughts appreciated.

Chris