Transient Calm

(after the Thames burst its banks)

i give you a fluvial plain on a January day

where a line of fine poplars are ankle deep

following a relentless purge of winter rain

sentinels where the fringe of a field should be

yet i see before me a wide glistening flood

where meadow grass once stood green and lush

this river could not contain its frenzied pique

frothing downstream in a turbulent dance of hell

onwards angry towards estuary and open sea

bursting banks, trespassing on once dry land

leaving in its wake a shimmering glass cold lake

resplendent in its dress of silvery sheen

all gleams silver, bright in light of low sun

an air of calm does effuse a soothing balm

as geese and terns pay homage to the peace

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"bursting banks in anger"
i like the personification....rivers don't like to be battered with what they consider God's tears...
they overflow and damage because they have been riled.
but with the sun and some days...peace comes to them again...they calm...still....almost as in a trance, meditating...
nicely done, Chris....one catch in first line, third stanza...did you mean "contain"?
and love the word "effuse" it's not a word that is used often enough...
maybe just poets make use of it.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks Jacob for your encouraging review and also for spotting the typo. Now corrected. Most appreciated.

Chris

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Nicely written piece but I'm always put off by the use of unnecessary stative verbs in any text such as, "an air of calm "does" effuse a soothing balm" Does it? Why not, "an air of calm effuses a soothing balm"? But stative verbs are often employed in song lyrics, "to the racetrack we did go" and "a wildcat did prowl" for example. Dylan songs, both of those or Jimmy Buffet's "cigar smoke does swirl". It just makes the sentence feel (to me) like the author lost their ability to communicate for a second. Instead of "we ran", we get "we did run" or from "it rose" we get "it did rise". It makes the rhyme scheme seem forced whether it is or not and makes lyrics sound unprofessional (to me). Of course opinions will vary and I can only offer my own. I liked the strong descriptions otherwise employed in the write but those passive stative verbs always seem out of place to me, no matter where they are.

[Chris Shaw]

Thanks Fabian.I appreciate your critique. This poem is well over five years old. I like to think I have improved since then. An old one out for an airing. All good wishes.

Chris

[Fabian G. Franklin]

"I've been so many places in my life and time
I've sung a lot of songs, I've made some bad rhymes" Leon Russell from "Singing This Song for You". But Leon also wrote some great verses and rhymes too. I wish I had written that song. Best wishes, F.

[Red Brick Keshner]

I do love poplars… Chris, in any season or climate… reminds me of the pastoral ideal of my time in Europe… I heard somewhere that they keep the waters of the earth and prevent erosion or something like that, lost in continental translation… so peaceful and scenic! 🙏🏻🕊
Freds.

[Chris Shaw]

An old poem Freds. Out for an airing. I appreciate you stopping by. Happy Saturday. Poplar trees are elegant.

Chris

[Red Brick Keshner]

Indeed they are, Chris, and so is this poem 🙏🏻🕊️
Fred’s.

[red93]

Fabulous Chris, so evocative, and very visual and filmic. Really Excellent ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks Tony. Have a happy weekend.

Chris

[Katrina Mckeown]

The calm after the storm.. nicely done Chris , your description is so powerfully poetic , tranquility after the storm! Great work Chris.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Katrina. Your thoughts are appreciated. All good wishes.

Chris

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Katrina. Your thoughts are appreciated. All good wishes.

Chris

[Katrina Mckeown]

You are most welcome Chris is always a pleasure to read :)

[emmajoy]

'... bursting banks, trespassing on once dry land - leaving in its wake a shimmering glass cold lake - resplendent in its dress of silvery sheen '

Every stanza beautiful but whilst my chosen quote highlights the negative, your phrases create a memorable miniature! You really are a true poet, Chris. Sighing before returning to the kitchen.. feeling so relaxed, at peace. Thank you

(Have re-worded some of my previous review)

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Em. I prefer to focus on the tranquility of the after storm. Destruction isn't in my nature. I'll leave the hat to others to do.

Chris

[emmajoy]

My previous wording needed to be altered.)

[alanwgraham]

This is indeed a soothing balm Chris. The calm after the storm. I think you've done the best thing by just describing, so poetically, the scene with its own beauty. i would doubtless plunge in, wellies first, and decry our role in climate change but your subtle approach is definitely ....more subtle!
Cheers,
ALan

[Chris Shaw]

Many thank yous Alan. I tried to concentrate on the beauty rather than focus on how we got there. Yes, truly the calm after the storm. Appreciate your thoughts.

Chris

[Robert Trakofler]

These days my hope for humanity to clean up their act is seriously waning I'm on natures side so flood on... if she must! just how many warnings does she need to send for us to wake up:? This year we have had almost no snowfall and what little we got melted immediately the contrast are staggering to me how rapidly things are changing since I was a small boy to now:(

[Chris Shaw]

Have to agree Bunny. It's pretty scary what's happening these days. Never remember our weather being so vicious when I was a child. We have certainly been warned.

Chris

[Laura Kate]

I loved the beautiful imagery in this Chris, and first thought of Mother Nature and how angry she could be at us all for our irresponsible ways on her planet. I’m glad to read that our home found peace and calm, as I hope will always be the case for her. Finally, I made sense of this as
an out poor of emotions, the quiet range and anger of someone whose boundaries are pushed, who cannot contain themselves any longer and who releases themselves from restriction, constriction, and to quiet and still.
Absolutely loved it
Laura

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you LauraKate. So pleased you enjoyed this poem and where it took you. Much appreciated.

Chris

[Dave]

To feel the harsh cold and see the frozen waters going their own way. You paint a portrait of nature gone awry. I agree mankind must seriously pay more heed to the horrible warnings that have been plaguing so many countries around the world. Good, point on - write.

Take care - Dave

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Dave. Always interested to hear your thoughts on my writing. Really appreciate your response. All good wishes.

Chris