When Words Pale

(four different attempts on this subject matter, Sky View already published)

I planned a poem to celebrate Vermont in fall,

a vision of thick forests upon her mountain slopes.

A mesmerising mass of vermillion intensity

graded in height, whose breathless beauty would

raise a gasp from even the most reluctant of ghosts.

So transfixed was I by layers of fluttering skirts,

of bright foliage, interwoven with splashes of

ochre, molten gold and hooker green, I wondered

whether I could attempt to capture the magnificence

to convey all I had seen in mere words.

And then I looked at the heavenly, cloudless sky,

not a feather of floating cloud in sight, not a wisp of

wayward white,just bluer than deepest sapphire blue.

There's no colour chart on earth that would replicate

that hue. It's a Vermont sky, one to sigh for.

If this wasn't bountiful enough, I was gifted twice,

a reflection of all in cool clear waters of a silent lake.

How great is that? Two for the price of one.

Abundant as well as lavish is nature's mother

when her mood exudes kindness.

So I took the whole of what my eyes had perused,

and tasked my muse to give of her best

because I wished to pen with an artist's flair

for a fellow poet who has an affinity with this place,

much loved from his early childhood days.

I wrote in couplets, in triolets. I tried free verse

and I bled in rhyme and after a time I was on the 

point of giving up, convinced I had failed, but

I desired my friend should feel the agony of my pen,

when I tried to do justice to his Vermont.

Reviews

[.]

Don't give up, don't give up please and you know you portrayed it so beautifully!!The beauty of Vermont came alive with your words and I hope your friend must be delighted with this portrayal.

Your sky portrayal was so aesthetically poetic....liked it so much

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Sima you are always so encouraging. I thank you. Have a lovely day.

Chris

[.]

You are so welcome.Have a lovely day to you too.

[sharonlee]

Justice done, I should think... I felt I was there alongside you, soaking up the beauty of Vermont in the fall... thank you Chris for this soothing rendezvous with Nature xx

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Sharon. I did put some effort in with this one. Pleased you liked it and I am more than pleased you stopped by. Have a good Sunday.

Chris

[sharonlee]

I'm glad I did stop by, a pleasure to lose myself in your descriptive prose.
Beautiful Sunday to you as well.

[LostSage]

ok Chris i have learned how to read you... it has to be done nice and slow... each word is a leaf falling from the tree... each word is a snowflake... catch it on your tongue. sweetness on you Chris

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Jeff for taking the time. I appreciate your thoughtful reviews.

Chris

[Fran Marie]

and so it is .. you most certainly have
done justice in this beautifully penned
poem about Vermont and its lovely
lush scenery in poetic verse an
enchanting piece here.. Chris..

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Fran. I wrote it for Jacob, quite sometime ago. That is a special place for him. Really appreciate you stopping by.

Chris

[Fran Marie]

yes, I thought so
you're s o very welcome

[Betty Hermelee]

you certainly do justice the the beauty of Vermont; with colors galore, which as you know I love; You do more than that, you use your imagery to the fullest in your unique way....and then you tried so hard to capture this magnificence in a poem, trying as hard as you possibly can, without success. But the ending is thoughtful and heartwarming to let this poet know that you tried your best, just for him.
Best always Chris,
B.
Great poem from beginning to end!

[Chris Shaw]

I have never been there. Jacob told me about it, so I looked it up and wanted to capture some of the splendour in the many images I saw. Thank you Betty for stopping by and leaving a valued comment. Alwats appreciate you.

Chris

[Betty Hermelee]

You’re very welcome Chris
Truly
B.

[FaeryQueen]

i felt the wind here,

So transfixed was I by layers of fluttering skirts,

great work

[Chris Shaw]

A beautiful thought Faery. Thank you for breezing by and pausing to see what I saw.

Chris

[...]

This poem have almost epic feelings. It's start from description what you want to try to convey. And then you start make free poetic flow in beautiful expressions . I felt I am almost back at woodlands . Your imagination can take us into real Vermont and we don't have to even go there. I like how you use colors to create moods of nature. I can say this was probably one of the most magical poem what i read from yours collection.

[Chris Shaw]

I really appreciate that you found this one and gave it an airing. Even more so because you really like it. You know Vermont, I don't so that makes what you say even more special. A big thank you.

Chris

[Jimmy Yetts]

Your words certainly did not "pale."
What a lovely, vivid portrayal! Work to be proud of, Chris.
I immensely enjoyed this poem.

[Chris Shaw]

What a thoughtful and encouraging review Jimmy. Many thanks for your visit.

Chris

[barleygirl]

I love the conversational tone of your poem. It feels like you're discussing the writing more than the place, which brings the reader into your private space, kinda intimate, kinda like a comrade in this struggle to find the best vehicle for words to ride. I know this feeling intimately. I've written about the same thing more than once, trying to capture it in a way that feels right. It never does. I think the point of writing is the journey, and taking different stabs at it! It doesn't matter if one is better than another. It's all needed to express what's "in there"! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Chris Shaw]

You are so right Margie, I was discussing the writing of the poem and my approach and thoughts. So pleased you picked up on that. Hope all is well with you.

Chris

[Beccy]

Since poetry first birthed, poets have tried to capture such magic with their pens.

As you say Christine, 'there's no colour chart on earth that would replicate that hue.' But that of course is eschew the joy of writing, and the joy of reading this lovely paean to the glories of the natural world.

Beccy.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Beccy for your encouraging review. Very much apprec iated. Have a good evening.
read moreThank you Beccy for your encouraging review. Very much apprec iated. Have a good evening.

Chris