Lemon Drizzle

Five years ago today

I baked a cake.

"Bully for you", I hear you say.

Well for me it wasn't an

everyday occurrence.

It was an act of love,

a gift for my brother Steve

to lift his spirits in an hour of need,

felled by the dreaded spread

of cancer from liver to brain.

Cancer that cruelly crept cat-like

after the trauma of transplant

that fed us and him

a sliver of hope

in the scope for a longer life.

He aquired a sweet tooth,

out of the blue it arrived,

took the pair of us by surprise. 

Returned us to decades before

when we pooled pocket money.

When black jacks were purchased

a penny for four, not forgetting

sherbert dips and the stain

of liquorice on teeth and lips.

Now he was buying sweets again.

"Take these for the journey home",

he'd say. "Something to chew on the way."

If it hadn't been so bloody tragic

I would have laughed

that here we were years later

doing the same old thing.

Now back to the cake I baked,

sadly I left it too late,

the following day

it drizzled plenty, not a lemon in sight.

Just rain and plenty of it, 

plus an avalanche of tears.

Reviews

[Fay Slimm]

A tragic loss to the villain called cancer and so heart-wrenchingly told - you shared happy times with a much loved brother and that will never be taken away Chris - - I know from a similar experience that memory has a habit of re-floating those days of sweet decades when sunk are our tears in floods of tears. Brothers are gifts we never forget and thank you for sharing yours with us here..........

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Fay, yes that villain cancer has certainly robbed me of many loved ones and anniversaries are always difficult. My younger brother a gift.

Chris

[Jimmy Yetts]

"Doing the same old thing" was, no doubt, a comfort to your brother--and, perhaps, a big part of his
seemingly sudden compulsion.
While your cake may have failed, when it comes to Steve, you obviously did not fail.
So sorry for your grievous loss, Chris; deeply touching tribute.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Jimmy for your understanding response. Very much appreciated.

Chris

[R.E. Ray]

A vivid illustration of the odd things we recall when faced with such trauma. For me, I remember music and odors, less than images... perhaps a blessing considering some awful things I’ve seen. Lemon cake is something I’d much prefer. What a gift and blessing your poem, and a tribute to him, Chris.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Robert. Yes the lemon cake was better to write and focus on than some of the other images I have, which I try and push aside. I understand where you are coming from in the line of work you do. Always very appreciative of your thoughts and your visits

Chris

[Eilis]

I read this before but wasn’t ready to comment, I guess. Cancer has become so prevalent that I think we’d be hard pressed to find someone who hasn’t been impacted by it.

Your story reminded me of my mother’s partner. He was part of our lives for many years, but it was always a tenuous relationship. He was a drinker and fell sick one day and was gone three weeks later. Cancer. Still sorting that out.

But, I was there with him in those final weeks preparing his meals and acting as caretaker. He couldn’t eat much, but one day I made him oatmeal with raisins. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the joy that gave him. It’s something I still think about when it strikes for some reason. The simple things that we don’t know how to observe because we have the sense there will always be more...days, meals, experiences...

Your poem is a lovely tribute to a lost brother, Chris. It carries with it all those reminders to be present and to love as much as you can while the opportunity is setting in front of you. Thanks for sharing the experience with us.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you for your lovely review. You reminded me why I baked the cake. It was because a couple of weeks earlier I had taken my brother out for afternoon tea and it was a joy watching him savour a slice of chocolate cake. He relished every crumb. I think when you know your days are numbered you learn to appreciate the smallest things in life. When you made the oatmeal with raisins for your mother's partner, that's why he was so appreciative. It is a lovely memory for you to keep. That you provided some joy in his final days.

Chris

[kentuck14]

A fine portrait of sibling affection and finely told.
T

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks Tom for your visit and your thoughts.

Chris

[David Klay]

What a very clever and unique tribute to your brother. I lost my father last year to cancer. I started writing poetry as a tribute to him. Thank you for sharing such a memory.

[Chris Shaw]

I am sorry for your loss David. Thank you for your review. It is most appreciated.

Chris

[Mrudula Rani]

Even sweetest memories get wrapped up in sorrow by tragedy. As time goes by they become hard to relive or undo ... still they follow forever and in accomplished hands they come alive in portraiture.i hope you are coping with your loss in a more healing manner, dear Chris. I know , Still some times it is extremely hard to face life. Wishing you all the best Querida.

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Mrudula after five years I have dealt with the grief but when anniversaries come round, my thoughts turn to him. I miss him still. That gap will always be there. I deal with it by writing my poetry. Thank you for your lovely review. Peace and love.

Chris

[Mrudula Rani]

It has been only 2 and half years since we lost our second brother and there are days I can't cope with. I think i will be spending rest of my life missing him terribly. Tudo de bom para você, Chris.

[Chris Shaw]

I do understand you Mrudula, the loss of a sibling is like losing a limb. It is life changing. To lose two must be unbearable at times. I will always miss my brother, I was the eldest of five children. I keep as busy as I can or otherwise the sorrows can take over. May you find peace in your grief dear poet.

[Mrudula Rani]

Thank you Querida, for your kindness.

[Mel]

Poignant and soft imagery. You write with a lot of love. It's a beautiful thing.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Mel. A second visit from you and that pleases me no end.

Chris

[rubie]

Such a tender, bittersweet piece. I love the juxtaposition of the sweets (candy, cake, etc) with the sadness of your brother's disease. Thank you for sharing such a painful part of your life.

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks Rubie. Anniversary times are a painful reminder but writing about him keeps him alive in my heart. Thank you for your lovely review.

Chris

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

I sense this piece as a tribute to a lost relative who really cares about the writer and who the writer truly cherished but the inevitable departure brought an end to this wonderful relationship.
It's more painful when someone lost someone caring and darling, It could keep breaking the heart each time the relationship comes to remembrance.

Thank for sharing this, Chris.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you for your thoughtful review Kay. It is most appreciated.

Chris

[Pete]

goodness, such a touching tribute. a tragic loss. at least you've got such memories of him. hopefully you take some sort of comfort in that. it's the seemingly little things that we remember because they are not really little ... :)

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Pete. I have lots of wonderful memories, I am lucky. Anniversaries are still difficult but I keep him alive by writing about him.

Chris