In the Genes

thick rust gathers
on a padlock where English oak
holds memories of you

confined to corridors of my mind
in a Pandora's box firmly closed

barbed wire heart
those paper cut sharps
with a sticks and stones story

no glory there
mid the dust of us

yet your velvet brown eyes
and long lashes
still melt my butter

butterfly flutter in familiar features
three young faces look at me
inherited genes
and I smile

Reviews

[Ted Kniffen]

Well done, Chris. You've stepped into a different format and produced a beautiful heartfelt poem that blends well with the rest of your work.
Funny how genes produce someone so familiar and yet not...bits & pieces of the past combined into a future that will always contain that reminder of a love that was...even if no longer a part of life.

A good write.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you so much Ted. Yes experimenting a bit to see what I can come up with. I am thankful for such a lovely review. Yes it does seem strange that someone no longer in your life has passed on strong similarities in colouring to family members. Brown eyes dominate.

Chris

[Eilis]

I have always been haunted a little by the ways we are like people no longer with us. I found out I was pregnant with my daughter on the same day my husband’s grandmother passed. It’s been interesting watching my girl grow because she has so many of the traits I admired in his grandmother.

She came to America from Germany at seventeen alone in the years between WWI and WWII. She used to tell me stories about life during WWI and how he family of 12 coped.

Your poem just reminded me of that. I never imagined my children would carry so little of me or so much of relatives they never knew. Inheritance is such an odd thing, but it keeps the past alive when it might be easier to forget.

This is a lovely bittersweet musing on the ways we are reminded of others. Sometimes joy and sometimes pain results, but whatever it is, the line of our origins lives on. Beautiful work, Chris.

[Davidgeo]

DNA/RNA, they are the real "spirit molecule's"... how we remember things without actually remembering them, through even events such as individual death and on time scales both large and small.

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks David for your visit. Appreciated.

Chris

[Davidgeo]

You might find this short 30-ish second video clip highly insightful when thinking about the fundamentals of genetic code vs. computer code. www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HmWStrE4Qw

[wordman]

the dust of us,i like that phrase

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Ron. I appreciate your visit.

Chris

[wordman]

you`re welcome

[Robert Trakofler]

I never had kidlings so i cant say I can fully feel your pain but i have (and i think you know) stepkids I lost one of them to mental illness of an extreme nature when i look at him i see this vessel where once stood a person, he isn't very functional anymore and it is a reminder of all that i had hoped and dreamed for him but in contrast I also see two grand kids that rekindle those feelings I had once had for him. these lines are so echoed in your heartfelt expression as i read them Chris

[Chris Shaw]

Bunny, I am happy that you can relate in this way with my words. I am sorry about your step son. That must be very painful for you. Great though about those grandkids. They bring immense joy. Thanks for your visits. I always look forward to them.

Chris

[barleygirl]

This is exactly where I love to have subtlety fall . . . in a place where it's easy to recognize what a writer is getting at, but also the reader has to stretch a little to fill in the blanks. I love how you spill a detail like "padlock . . . English oak" and immediately we're thinking: hope chest. But the ultimate part of your poem is the ending. People can never escape looking into young faces & seeing the "other half" which may have caused some pain or grief. Your subtlety is exquisite! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Margie. You make this little bit of scribble sound so special and that delights me no end. All good wishes.

[alanwgraham]

A deliciously bitter sweet story of the past leading into the future. I can really identify with these thoughts of past times and missing loved ones but also the delight of following our children making their way and our first grandchild discovering the world. As we grow old...
Really enjoyed this poem Chris.
All the best,
Alan

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks Alan. Good to know you could relate to these words, especially about grandchildren. Pleased to have you visit and I hope all is good with you and yours.

Chris

[drew garner]

very sensual in a nonperverse way. I enjoyed it, time gives and it takes but it is all a gift no matter what we lose.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you so much for your review. I don't think we've met before, so I'll say hi and many thanks for your visit. Pleased you enjoyed the read.

Chris

[drew garner]

thank you, and I did. I hope you are having a good day.

[Chris Shaw]

Early morning here, but all good so far. I'll take a look at your page later today. Have a good one yourself.

[TheJordBaker]

That 3rd stanza in particular is magical, a lovely poem, Chris. The art personified in the children, the artist's story and confliction beautifully conveyed in an effective style.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Jordan. I appreciate both your visit and your thoughts on this read.

Chris

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Ah yes, those young faces do keep us going. I smiled when I reached the 'melt my butter' part, funny how that happens, when all of a sudden some features remind strongly of someone...
This one's definitely a different style from what I've read of your pieces so far, but penned nicely, as always.

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks Dr Y for your review and your continued support so very much appreciated.

Chris

[gram linski]

I do like it when you break out from the shackles, Chris, free style, baby, a sad and tender affair

[gram linski]

I've gone all rhymy, and you've gone freefall, lol,

[Chris Shaw]

Laughing my head off. Maybe you are a bad influence eh? I think it's good to show versatility. Funny your muse bumped into mine :)

[gram linski]

more than once, Chris, more than once, and I genuinely appreciate the shout you gave in the hour glass review, time was slipping away

[Chris Shaw]

:)).....................