Inbetween Mars and Venus

This is Saturday humour, with apologies to anyone I've offended about their politics or manhood:) Also thanks to Lorry and Dave

What is it about men?

What is it about women?

So many times it's been said,

it's a constant surprise to me

that relationships ever survive,

as many of them are doomed to die.

Yet I'm a firm believer in

Men are from Mars, women from Venus.

And there's that other place,

the one that comes between us.

Yes that's it, the Planet Penis.

If anything's going to c**k things up,

it's that nonentity.

When I mentioned this to Lorry

in a running commentary he said to me

"Trump would make a great president there,

and without doubt is the biggest dick of the lot".

I agree wholeheartedly,

he has befitting hair for the job

and qualifies with his wandering knob.

In case you think this is a plot against men,

think again, I love you all,

which covers you big 'uns, the deflated, the shy,

the persistent and the small.

You'll all remain dear to me

so long as you don't interfere with me :)

Reviews

[Lorry]

I told you, it was really cold that day :)
And what is it exactly that you're thanking me and zDave for? We promised not to mention that outside of fight club :)
It is good to see that weekend silliness is making a comeback though. Thats what they are for...Weekends I mean, not...never mind :)

[Chris Shaw]

A bit of weekend silliness between friends goes a long way I say :) And that fight club, bet the membership's increasing in size. Oh dear can't get off this bloomin subject now. That poem is gonna curse me for the rest of my days:)

Chris

[Coyote Poetry]

I know and I believe dear Chris.
"You'll all remain dear to me
so long as you don't interfere with me :"
The above lines are true. Six sisters, three daughters and a crazy mother. Step-dad taught me wisely. Just smile and hope the storm goes by quickly. Wonderful words shared my friend.
Coyote

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Coyote. That's one huge number of women you have to contend with. That takes a great deal of wisdom my friend to get the balance right.

Chris

[Coyote Poetry]

Stepfather lasted 39 years with loca mother. I try to be like him and you are welcome Chris.

[Gee]

Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, should ever come between a man and his penis. From a very early age the male of the species becomes very attached to his member, more so in teenage years when thoughts of older women flood the brain, and this attachment only lessens with the onset of old age numbness, when the grip becomes less reliable.
A 96 year old man was asked at what age he stopped playing with himself, his reply, " I'll tell you when it happens"
Good morning Christine

[Chris Shaw]

Good morning Gee and thank you for the detail about the workings of the anatomy of 96 year old men :) Lovely day here, sun shining. Make the most of it in Bucks.

Chris

[Gee]

I thought you'd enjoy that info :))
Sun out in MK, have cut the grass and tidied the garden.
Hope all is well in Berks

[Chris Shaw]

All good in Berks and haven't you been working hard? Chores all done? Take a rest.

Chris

[John the Baptist]

Actually, the Planet Penis isn't so bad-------unless it's up Uranus.

[Chris Shaw]

Very funny, made me laugh. Thank you John.

[andrew mitchell]

Had to laugh, clever and witty and somewhat true. I think trump is more moron though!

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Andrew, needed to have some fun. Pleased it gave you a laugh.

Chris

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Not too sure what to say.....other than it made me smile..............oops does that get me in the bad books?..........or excommunicated?....................and I am afraid I could never live on that planet you mentioned. I am a conscientious objector!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

There's a member in the house, a stand up sort of guy. He's as straight as they can be, in fact ridgid some would say. Erect and quite excitable but likes to come and play!

[Chris Shaw]

It was meant to raise a smile John :) Pleased if it did. Job done. Your response made me think of the House of Commons :)

Chris

[andrew mitchell]

John, I think I also have a member like that at our house!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Indeed. Just watched the series about Jeremy Thorpe lol!

[andrew mitchell]

Lol""".........

[andrew mitchell]

I don’t think I would ever have a gay lover or kill one like Jeremy just not my cup of tea probably why I stick to coffee! Lol

[jacob erin-cilberto]

will congress pass this????? :)))
thanks for the smile, Chris....this is so clever.
and you echo so many of my sentiments...
and i know better than to interfere with you!!!!!!!!!!

[Chris Shaw]

The political correct will be having a fit. It was a dull day and I wanted to inject some humour. Happy to make you smile Jacob :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i guess i am just "politically incorrect"!!!!
:))))))

[Stella Armour]

Ah chris you really got to the crotch of the matter here ...lol
ooops did i mean crux ? no it was definitely the other thing :))

[Chris Shaw]

Yes Stella, you got it first time. This is where idle banter leads you. :)

Chris

[Stella Armour]

Don't let them lead you by the nose , they only lead you to where their brain grows ==☼

[Chris Shaw]

And we all know where that is Stella lol

[john l smith]

Ah! That solar system and its surprises
Is that the planet with two moons that orbits around Venus?

[Chris Shaw]

Well Dave, you asked me when so I had to get my pen moving. Yep I reckon you're right, two moons that orbit around Venus. Thank you

Chris

[john l smith]

(:.....................:)