The Colour of Silence

My Mother - Lost in Limbo, in a nursing home for the last four years.

Heat on frozen lips, maternal steam.

Pleasing like the taste of Columbian coffee,

or fingertips easing away

those hapless cares on a lousy day.

Bright as a hundred watt bulb,

light illuminating a blackened room.

She chases shadows.

Brushes aside gloom tucked into tight corners.

Lavender balm soothes and calms

at the end of a phone.

She embraces a sweeping view,

moods of a fickle sea,

she relates from cushioned comfort

while sipping breakfast tea.

Back arched in a carver chair,

five counties east, as the crow flies,

I hunger to hear her voice,

receiver pressed to my ear.

- 

There's a host of things I miss.

I can still plant a kiss when I visit,

yet it's the phone calls and the chats

and the fact that she can't converse

which hurts most.

But her eyes reflect her soul.

She is neither here nor there

and her empty stare speaks volumes.

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

Heartbreaking words, Chris. When you lose a loved one who is actually still breathing, it is more tragic than their death could ever be. I can picture her in bed sipping tea and thinking thoughts of yesteryear. My heart goes out to you. That empty stare is difficult to see, but who knows what is happening inside her heart? She is still your mother. Lydi***

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you dear Lydi**. I just hope she has some form of contentment in her world. That she has nice thoughts of our family that she can reflect on. It is difficult to understand what or how she feels in this half way house stage.

Chris

[john l smith]

A cruelty sent too often
I have had three close encounters, my Mother was the worst, once gentle and kind, then turned into a complete stranger and mad woman.
My mother-in-law dropped on the spot.
She was the lucky one

[Chris Shaw]

Your mother-in-law Dave, certainly was the lucky one. Life can be very cruel. Thanks for checking in.

Chris

[The Black Penman]

A read that is so familiar to a lot of human beings these days and very well stated Christine. Thanks for a wonderful piece.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you so much Penman. Pleased to see you visit. All good wishes.

Chris

[Onlyme]

A very sad and heartbreaking poem this Chris, about your mum in the nursing home. It must be so hard to visit her and see how much she has changed from the youthful days when she was young. And with time and age. It does take a toll on us all. You're a wonderful daughter Chris. Who loves her mother dearly and that shows deeply inside this moving, emotional piece of writing. God bless your mum Chris. And on those days she does recognize you. I know you made her days happier and warmer in general. As she knows you love her truly and deeply. And on the day she does not. I am sure in some small way. She knows you are there. Even though at those times. She can't convey it to you in words or emotions. But I am sure she does know you are there. In good times and badtimes. hugs Dawn.

[Chris Shaw]

Dawn, your review so thoughtful and caring. So much appreciated. Many thank yous.

Chris

[Onlyme]

My pleasure Chris, thinking of you and your dear Mum. Dawn.

[Ken Simm.]

I empathise for personal reasons with the subject matter here. What I couldn't do is write about it as beautifully and as thoughtfully.

[Chris Shaw]

Very many thanks Ken for your visit. Most appreciated. A difficult write to tackle.

Chris

[augustus]

How sad life can be! That's why we all need cheering up!

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Augustus for your review. Looks as though you are managing to stay happy :)

Chris

[Ardra]

That's a really sad state to see our parent in.... no child would be able to bear it...And you have captured the pain beautifully in your words Chris...

((Hugs))

[Chris Shaw]

How lovely to hear from you Ardra. Hope you are OK. Thanks for checking this one out.

Chris

[Anjeline]

It's really very sad to read this. It's filled with honest emotions and wonderful expressions. Beautifully written Chris

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Angeline for your thoughtful review.

Chris

[Anjeline]

You're welcome :-)

[NotUsinganymore]

Very unique concept and very sad. I enjoyed. Life isn't fun and games

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks JungLee for your review. All best wishes.

Chris

[NotUsinganymore]

You're welcome. c: Please check out my newest poem named 'Mother ; Past"

[Ted Kniffen]

You've touched a chord with this one, Chris, judging by the replies. My mum is 94 now, in a home suffering from rapid onset dementia. Came on overnight a few years back. We almost lost her in the first few months, but physically she rallied, not so much mentally. Visiting her now is an adventure. Sometimes she knows you, but most times she is living back in the past. It isn't what I'd call a decent situation.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you so much for sharing your story Ted and for stopping by. Your thoughts very much appreciated.

Chris