The Inner Child

(for those whose childhood was far from happy)

How can an adult reconcile

their feelings with their inner child?

Not all had early days of glee

within a loving family.

Some lived their lives in abject fear

with hostile action lurking near

from those intent on causing harm.

How can you calm the frightened souls

of children caught inside a storm,

where waves suppress their bouyancy

and they can barely keep afloat?

Their little sail boats wrecked at sea

where all they know is misery

and love an island they can't reach.

How can you drag that young child back

to face your adult self full on,

without you breaking into tears?

A fountain fall for many years

where they have tried to wade through clay

to find direction when it seems,

their compass stuck on broken dreams.

Reviews

[Stella Armour]

this hit a still very raw nerve Chris, some people shout about their hurtful childhoods from the rooftops whist some of us prefer to bury it and move on otherwise it will destroy our future. You have to let it go even if it keeps trying to re-surface.. displaying angst only fuels the memories.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you for your honesty Stella. Not having been in this situation I have often wondered how
adults do cope with hurtful childhoods.

Chris

[Stella Armour]

it's sink or swim, drugs or inner strength if you like.
all this posting about angst and deprivation of love sometimes makes me angry so i try not to comment too much. No one but yourself can improve your life, so why keep sympathy seeking?
it's gone... yes it wasn't very nice... so as soon as i could i improved my thinking and looked at the good things i had however small and even now i still do it...little things make me so happy even seeing birds playing... all those things are healing

[Chris Shaw]

You have a very positive outlook on life Stella, and I am a firm believer in keeping life simple. Much pleasure comes from little things and nature has always helped me and does with you too.

[Stella Armour]

yes, i remember one night as a child when i was utterly miserable and thinking i had wallpaper in my bedroom with a lovely pattern on it and every night for ages i comforted myself that the only thing i loved was that wallpaper. maybe that was when i started looking for small comforts .. i don't know, everyone handles it differently.

[Chris Shaw]

Concentrating on the one thing that gave you comfort. I can understand that Stella. How difficult for you.

[Stella Armour]

Well yes, but at the time and as an only child i did not know any different , i thought that was how lif ewas.I think it hurts more now inwardly looking back to what i missed than it hurt then. Lol... i can remember wishing they would send me to boarding school i was so lonely and not allowed to have friends. Anyway i survived mentally somehow ... must have a stubborn streak i think.

[Zayir]

I don't know if you are familiar with the book "A Child Called It" but I related this piece to the book. Years later our emotional trauma and scars, we'll have to face eventually. Dealing with childhood abuse takes years of therapies and many do not get over it. There are just some things that I can not even imagine feeling, but this piece gives me valuable insight. I feel the pain, distrust, and loss in this. Phenomenal work Chris

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Zayir and for the friendship request. I am familiar with that book, but had in fact written this poem, long before it was published. I appreciate your response.

Chris