For Ben who grew and loved polyanthus

(he was also an artist and poet)

For you whose bridge I have not crossed,

who writes of standing on the edge,

my thoughts have always been my own,

I've never hovered on the ledge.

I may at times have met despair,

fought demons in the dark of night,

but chains don't lock me in a hell

preventing me from freedom's flight.

My hands my own to give or take,

I close my door without the fear

that someone lurks behind its frame,

their heavy presence ever near.

If I could offer you the key,

I'd break my arms to set you free.

Reviews

[Davidgeo]

In your title, polyanthus is one of those words that doesn't change in it's plural form... there is no word "polyanthers", it's always polyanthus regardless. The greek translation of the word already literally means "many flowers".

There seems to be a suicide epidemic taking place in western society these days. I don't think people are any more or less prone to it inherently but the society we live in is leaving the most vulnerable more susecptible to it. We are more connected than ever but it seems that some of us, paradoxically, feel even more isolated than ever which is exacerbating all types of mental illness... in the most tragic possible way for the borderline cases, those already on the edge.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you for the correction David. There appear to be many more people suffering from mental health illness these days. Perhaps it is because we are more aware of it now than when I was younger and it was swept under the carpet. Life can be lonely for some, but add on mental health problems and that makes the whole situation worse. The older I get the more I realise that there are many, many vulnerable people out there living there lives in isolation.

Chris

[Chris Shaw]

oops, their, not there

[Davidgeo]

I think the current uptick in mental illness diagnosis' is similar to past situations like autism... it's not that people are crazier than ever but the awareness and ability to recognize it on a clinical level has come a long way. Which I think presents the controversial question... is the labeling of such conditions causing the suffers to feel more hopeless than they otherwise would? It's not an easy question to ask but I think it's an obvious one if we allow ourselves to objectively look at the situation. I think we had a conversation about labels before; it was in a far different context but there may be some fundamental similarities.

[Chris Shaw]

Yes labels as I said before I don't like. They can make people feel different, maybe isolated. We should be making people feel inclusive, not part of a minority group. Now how we do that I don't know, but it needs to be looked at. I've never come across so many youngsters with autism, OCD, bi-polar etc etc. It was almost unheard of when I was at school.

[Davidgeo]

Labels on their own are not to blame. They can make a person feel unified and empowered as well isolated and disenfranchised. It's how we perceive them and how we think others perceive that makes them healthy or pathological. I've been labeled with a mental illness but I use that knowledge to better myself and better understand the nature of how and why I feel certain things and to mitigate their negative consequences. Labels aren't a new thing and they won't be going anywhere probably ever... how we deal with them internally and the tolerance we have for other's is the key to overcoming the negative aspects of them. Pretending they don't exist is akin to sticking your head in the sand... in my opinion anyway.

[Lorry]

Such a beautiful and heartfelt thought, to understand and be there for someone who is lost in themself, is all we can do. The ending says it all really, if. They may be having their own personal fight, but so are those in their lives, having to watch with no idea what to do.
Wonderful piece.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Lorry. Reaching out and being there is often all you can do.

Chris

[lightsong]

that's endearing to me... I read it four times and it runs deeply inside, I may not know the exact meanings behind Your words, but I felt a real "reaching out" to him, a personal desperate urge to do so, sadness at the end that You couldn't do more to help him (it's all in his hands), but if You could, You would give everything You can again and again.

[Chris Shaw]

Yes, there was much reaching out. Thank you Light for your insight.

Chris

[Onlyme]

Helps to give hope to someone who feels the urge to commit suicide. Like you said so eloquently and expressed with heartfelt sentiments. We have all felt those feelings and urges. It just you having enough fight left inside you to fight those urges and close that door behind it. To stop it. Taking you from within. Out.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Dee for your kind review

Chris

[Jon Roggie]

The sad thing is we rarely know why. Your words feel like someone still trying to understand.

[Chris Shaw]

Many people like Ben feel isolated,we should all be reaching out more.

Chris

[Jon Roggie]

Being one who didn't follow through, I have to say you can't see it. It comes down to a moment.
read moreBeing one who didn't follow through, I have to say you can't see it. It comes down to a moment.

Jon

[Jimmy Yetts]

Such a perceptive and empathetic poem!
Love and devotion radiate from every word.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Jimmy for your kind review.

Chris

[Stella Armour]

"I've never hovered on the ledge.
I may at times have met despair,"

How can we know the depths of someone else's despair? Pain, all kinds of pain is invisible... God bless Ben x

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Stella, and yes.. God Bless Ben x

[emmajoy]

The power of these words is immensely tangible, Christine... and in some veiled way as personal as personal can be. To me, there seems to be a lack of awareness, of fear.. but incredible generosity of spirit. Glorious sadness. somehow.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Em. His mental state, absolute torture for him. I have no fear of shadows or voices in my head. He was terrified.

Chris

[emmajoy]

I thi-i-nk i gathered as much but more a terror that switched off the more usual point of.. ..

[jacob erin-cilberto]

a stirring, well-written tribute to this person.
love the last two lines...and "i'd break my arms to set you free"---
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Thanks Jacob. We all have our problems, but some get far more than their fair share in life, as with Ben.

Chris