Taking Cake and Snapshots

Pam in party frock takes a giant step,

lips pursed, breath ready to blast a gale.

Six candles fixed in plastic holders flicker.

I'm four, sip tea from best china,

he at three, anticipates birthday cake.

Monochrome moments caught by Kodak.

-

We arrive at diamond years,

the burnt wick of life's expectation,

drowning in melted wax.

We harness the remains of souvenirs.

Mediterranean heat in Hertfordshire,

my arms guide inside tea-rooms.

His choice home baked chocolate cake,

he lingers in the minute, savours the flavour,

unsteady hands mop scattered crumbs.

He breaks into laughter, I smile through grief,

capture him with smartphone colour,

aware time swallows fast, the last of his days.

Reviews

[Ayvid N]

Dear Chris,

Those were said to monochromatic days and yet your memories are so animated, so vibrant, they burst off the page in such wonderful colors. On the other hand, the era of smartphones feels so colorless and remote. I enjoyed these read so much today. Thank you for sharing.

[Chris Shaw]

Dear divya, a belated thank you. I read your lovely review a month ago but somehow missed responding. Better late than never.

Chris

[Ayvid N]

No worry, my friend. I'm always here and so are you. Its a blessing and you're most welcome. :)

[.]

A lovely write that focuses on a single moment and how that moment has changed with the passing of the years. The years may wither the face and the body and the tech may advance to capture the moment in greater colour and clarity, but the moment itself remains dearly in the heart and savoured forever.

A softly written poem tinged with elements of both sadness and joy. Nice work.

[Chris Shaw]

So right Doodley, a cocktail of sad and happy, and this moment, so special to me now immortalised in a poem. Thank you for your kind review.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i agree with Neville...nothing to improve here...a sad tale, as i read it...growing up and old with siblings and losing one...the snapshot memories of past...and the snapshot foreshadowing of a future without one of them.

beautifully written and haunting.

[Chris Shaw]

Yes Jacob, you have read me well. The snapshots of our last outing out together, so precious, and I knew what was coming and the impact it would have on me. Those snapshots of my sibling like gold dust. Thank you for your insightful review.

[Davidgeo]

I like your free verse style; I don't think you should change anything here. The abstract formlessness allows me to paint a more original mental picture that isn't weighed down by conventional pacing or expected word usage.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you for your kind words about my writing style and in particular your advice. Your review is appreciated.

[Kelly Scheppers]

"We arrive at diamond years,
the burnt wick of life's expectation,
drowning in melted wax."

From the monochrome moments by Kodak, to the capture of a smartphone, I was swept away by the nuance of life, and how well its pulse is beating here. I have no suggestions, other than you dabble more into free verse. I love it, Christine!

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you so much for your praise Kelly. Praise enough to persuade me to consider dabbling again in the future. At heart I'll always be a sucker for rhyme and metered poetry, but I am learning still.

[C. James Snyder]

So much imagery in so few words. This piece is really multiple pictures in itself. Splendid!

[Chris Shaw]

Pleased you enjoyed the read. Thank you for your review and I have accepted your friend request.

[Stella Armour]

A most unusual and well thought out theme from then excitement of childhood birthday candles to the wick burning down as we age.
The old wonderful black and white photographs to the modern smartphone coloured ones....

A refreshing read , a wonderful idea and i loved it :)

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Stella for your very kind comments. Pleased you enjoyed the read.

[Stella Armour]

i certainly did :)

[Wild Rose]

Lifes span (almost)
Love cake > Six candles friends four and three
Baked chocolate cake > hope it has cream in
Diamond years > is that sixty?
You have time to go yet
Octo deca annum and on
Novo: centi.

[Chris Shaw]

Yes diamond years are in the sixties. Plenty of time for me, but not my younger brother. Sister and brother 4 and 3. Thank you for taking the time to read and leave a comment Wild Rose (lovely name). I'm thankful.

[Wild Rose]

I am Octo Deca Duo Portuguese for 82

[Chris Shaw]

Pleased to meet you and thank you for becoming a friend.

[Gee]

Then one day you wake up with middle age as a bedfellow and only dust covered memories and flashbacks as reminders of time that has passed oh, so quickly.
I like this style, your style. Writing that doesn't cause me to puzzle or reach for a dictionary is a pleasure to read (when written as well as this)
Hope you are enjoying Saturday and the last of the summers Sun !!!!

[Chris Shaw]

Yes Gee, I am in the garden making the most of it while it lasts. I too like to get the gist of what I'm reading without having to read a piece six times and get the dictionary out. Poetry will always be subjective but I try and make mine easy to interpret. Thanks for your kind review and enjoy the good weather.

[Gee]

You too. I'm currently tied to a sit, covered in factor 30. My good lady wife and daughter are taking it in turns to do 1/2 hour shifts ( dressed as jesters) slowly turning me so that my tan is not only golden but evenly spread.....it's a hard life living with 3 women
" Honey, honeeeeee, another cold lager please "

[Gee]

sit = spit

[Chris Shaw]

ha ha, cooking nicely then.

[Gee]

At present I resemble a barber's pole but I'm working on it :)

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Reminisce and memories poetically encapsulated within the flow of words; tinge of sadness when we recall how fast the years have past! Love the ( - ) break to demonstrate a time scale! :-)

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Phill for your kind review.