At the end there I thought of another word that rhymes with spit that would fit as well but I think I will keep it to myself. Very sad Chris and the saddest part is, it is true. I don't believe any mother gives birth to a child with the thought they will end up homeless, but maybe I am wrong. I love the title of this as well, Very cool.
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
Thank you so much will for your thoughtful review. I know full well the word you were thinking of an.. read moreThank you so much will for your thoughtful review. I know full well the word you were thinking of and I was sorely tempted to use it! So many homeless and for a multitude of reasons. It is shameful in my opinion. This is an old poem so I am more then grateful it has had an airing. Have a good day.
This is such a wonderful and thought-provoking poem, Chris. I especially liked the last stanza, it truly made me reflect on the ugly side of society. I also loved how the words you use simply fit together. Words so simple yet able to make a huge impact. Well done!
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
You too are kind and very generous with your words. Pleased you enjoy my poetry Nisha
honest and very true. i can relate to this in ways i can't explain but suffice it to say this poem touched me in a way i wasn't expecting. it is nicely written, expressive and deep. I appreciate this very much.
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
Thank you for your thoughtful and kind review Ranger.
Too true > given a chance they can be good workers you face don't fit you live in the wrong place > Don't speak correctly
Hey _ we had some girls like that - sent by the employment office
"Thev sent me for a job"
What have you done before?
"Nowt - the' don't want folk from our estate"
Looked at wife - she nodded
"OK all gi' thee a chance"
"oo thanks mister al do owt that tells mi - al gi thi no cheek
A we'ent bi late - can I av time to tek kids tet scool an pick em up - Please"
OK half past nine to half past three _ hows that sound
"Quarter past nine to quart t' four - a could do that best"
Ok tomorrow
She was a good worker quick to learn > she got her chance & made her way
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
Thank you Wid Rose, everyone deserves a chance to prove themselves. Sadly that doesn't always happen.. read moreThank you Wid Rose, everyone deserves a chance to prove themselves. Sadly that doesn't always happen. Thank you for your review.
As a big fan of rhyme & rhythm, this is what melts me right off, reading this. Each stanza develops your idea in an original way, all nicely harmonizing, but each interestingly different. This is some awesome writing becuz of originality & form & a message so relatable, it almost brings a tear. Yet despite the futility of living worthless lives, there's also a hidden note of acceptance, since we can always find another who understands how it can feel (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
What a lovely review Margie. Thank you so much. I just love rhythm and rhyme and although I dabble w.. read moreWhat a lovely review Margie. Thank you so much. I just love rhythm and rhyme and although I dabble with a bit of free verse, I always make my way back. I can't help it. The rhymes just keep popping up as I write.
I'm a fan of poems that are easily understood and tell a story. This is that kind, and it's message is sadly true. The Bible speaks of "fowls of the air", and how God takes care of them. Warm, waterproof feathers and the ability to fly away--yes, they can do that, but people can't. I know from my own early life of poverty that it's hard to pull one's self away and go to a better place. When you're surrounded by failure, it's difficult to think you can do any better. Thankfully, most eventually do overcome such negativity, but not all. It is they, then, who huddle for cover.
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
Your review is so true. As I age, I find I become more and more aware of the ones who huddle for cov.. read moreYour review is so true. As I age, I find I become more and more aware of the ones who huddle for cover, and sadly their number is increasing. I just don't get it. In this day and age, it should be the reverse. Really appreciate your review Samuel. Thank you.
This poem throws light on the demarcation we've created in the society. The rich versus the poor. The people who have everything and those who don't and eventually suffer. The imagery in the first paragraph is so apt. It's a lovely read!:)
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
Many thanks for reviewing Inaya. Your time is appreciated.
From the beginning, there has been clans, cultures and civilization, which us humans have felt the need to fit into! However, it is important is to recognize the unique gifts every person brings to this world. Doesn’t matter if some may think our ‘face does not fit’; we must embrace diversity and never compromise our individuality just to please others! Your write really makes me stop and reflect … bless … :-)
Albert, my paternal grandfather introduced me to Tennyson when I was nine. I have loved poetry ever since but did not attempt writing a single piece until I was 40. It's never too late to try somethin.. more..