faded

I want to let it out

I don’t even know how it got in

Because now there is darkness

Where light had always been.

 

And I’m not sure if its because

The fire in my heart has died

Or because the flames were smothered

By the dim that came from the world outside.

 

And then sometimes I wonder

If maybe my eyes can no longer

See the light, and while it shines inside

My pupils merely pickup shaded pigments.

 

But whatever it is,

The sun has set

And the moon has risen.

Reviews

[Kelsie Eileen Stark]

Great moral, but I feel this could be extended to a deeper meaning. Brilliant job

[Kes]

I kinda agree that the rhythm felt funny, but still, i really liked it. I always try to use rhyme and rhythm, just because i'm a musician and it flows easier for me that way. So where the rhyme and rhythm worked - and it DID work for most of the poem - i loved it.
The first stanza was a stunner. Play with it a bit; see how good you can make it.

[Palmer Blu]

This is a great start to what could be an amazing poem. For me the confusion between what the rhyme scheme should be threw me off just a little. If you could pick one and stick to it I am sure that this piece would reach its full potential.

[Hello, Goodbye]

came in for one, but got another, satisfied regardless..

[AlisshalovesBrandon]

i loved the way you portrayed the image inside my head

[HopelesslyDevoted]

wonderful expression of feeling