faded

I want to let it out

I don’t even know how it got in

Because now there is darkness

Where light had always been.

 

And I’m not sure if its because

The fire in my heart has died

Or because the flames were smothered

By the dim that came from the world outside.

 

And then sometimes I wonder

If maybe my eyes can no longer

See the light, and while it shines inside

My pupils merely pickup shaded pigments.

 

But whatever it is,

The sun has set

And the moon has risen.

Reviews

[EdgarLovecraft]

well structured and good message clarity

[BetanuZwei]

A very powerful poem, and the last stanza is really great. I also loved the fire metaphor. Well done. Thank you for posting!

[kaylynnmelody♥]

wow.. such an emotional write. thank you for posting!

[Tracie D'Angelo]

Very cool poem! I like the way the words portray the feeling of the fading light. The ending, although short, makes me feel that certain acceptance has been achieved. Good job!!

[Richard Williams]

A fine write with strong metaphor of fire and flame. That pupils and pigments line is fine.

[Calypso]

So wonderful. I feel like that tonight.

[Bejn Jonathon Edwards]

I can sense the deep melancholia within this. It's beautiful but don't let it rule you.

[Jonathan]

Sounds to me like you have been suddenly struck with sadness. Seeing the world in black and white. All the while as you dwell on these things the days seem to quickly pass by. A deep poem indeed.

[shoaib]

wow ... incredble writing

[Coyote Poetry]

Easy to see darkness before light. We must not allow the disappointment to block out the hope and our dreams. I like how you set-up the poem. Allowing the reader to feel the light fading away. A very strong ending to a excellent poem. Thank you.
Coyote