Birth

re-write of "What We Haven't Done"

Birth

 

I had listened to the wolves cry

to the dim light of the moon

more then I had listened to the birds sing

as their music sent me dancing in my dreams.

 

I had watched the sun set

more often then I had seen it rise

restlessly raining red, painting the sky.

 

I once saw the world as dead;           

I watched it die more often

then I had looked at a sky and felt alive.

 

I had never seen a bird fly,

but I had watched autumn leaves fall

down halls of wind, disappearing

into tunnels of dim light.

 

My heart had yet to beat with passion,

but I felt detachment from the Earth,

like my feet didn’t belong on the dirt.

 

I was a part of a herd, a cow licking blades

of grass in balding pastures as I saw horses

glide out in the open while I cowardly crouched

and hid beneath the fences of that field.

 

I set sail from the shores of nature,

fleeing to the island of darkness,

but then Earth cast a storm, sinking my ship,

causing me to retreat back to her floor.

I struggled to place my feet upon the sand;

Learning to appreciate each breath I took.

 

My soul then told me-

“Embrace the grace of the grass,

play with the petals that have settled into the soil

for they toiled against storms to glimmer

with natures light, flickering from each beat of its pulse.

It won’t always be here for you to hold dear,

So cling to the flame of the exquisite without shame.”

 

I drew the curtains from my heart.

Time was ticking quickly,

The trees were fleeing right before me.

I wanted to hold onto the world forever

And never forget the tints that glinted

Like the sun against pale snow in a soothing glow.

Reviews

[Zoe Jay]

Wow,this is tremendous. Your writing is always sophisticated and thought provoking. Very interesting subject also - I think many of us find it easier sometimes to embrace the darkness than the light. You have a great clarity of thought to be able to consider this fact, and to express it so well and in such detail. What does it mean for our species, that we have this attraction for darkness, destruction, and things which represent those? Is it ultimately, our fear of death that draws us to sunsets, the howl of the wolf, autumn leaves? For me this poem discusses our inherent morbidity as a species, and also, our inability, in many cases, to connect directly with beauty. Sometimes we have to face that fear, our fear of death, directly, before we can truly appreciate the beauty of the world. Love the content of this poem. It's original, and intellectually challenging. You are one of my favorite writers Cassandra!

I think the cow / horse metaphor is particularly interesting as a representation of humanity, and the most interesting point for me, is that when the horse runs free, gliding in the open, it is usually under the guidance and direction of a human. Nobody rides a cow. I'd have to think about this more, but it's a really unusual and meaningful observation.

Your structure and word choices are gorgeous too. The first four verses, each mirroring and building on the other, are a perfect introduction to the concept. Verses 5 and 6 I see as a sort of "bridge", an awakening, and verses 7, 8 and 9 are a powerful and fully blooming conclusion.

There are so many instances of beautiful writing here, but the dialogued section in Verse 8 ("Embrace the grace.....") is absolutely classic. It is almost, standing alone, a prayer, or a mantra. Immaculately written! :-)

[Drako]

i relate so closely with this poem. my faith makes me partial to the earth and nature, and so few people sit back and appreciate all that the earth has given us. this was an inspiration to read yet again

[*skittlez*]

amazing i like your writing

[Linear]

There have been times, when I looked only on the dark side, the down side, never thought in those lonely times a bright day would ever come, no one would ever rescue me from the blight of my mindset, but like your poem it did, and i could finally breathe once again.

Good poetry

[Daniel Soloye]

Amazing bravo!

[Kes]

Beautiful. I wish I could write like this.
Very nice indeed!

[InkSlinger]

You always take me on a journey of wonderment.. you have such an elegance about your writing, like a soft hymn being whistled or hummed. You words are always offering a little taste of nostalgia, or warmth that has faded from life's common decencies.. thank you...

[Jonathan]

The simple task of enjoying and appreciating nature
Is one of the easiest things to do but the easiest thing
To forget about. The poem was over all solid, but for
A moment I got kind of confused when inhabiting the
body of a cow then being on a ship. I figured it was all
Metaphysical. But to rap everything up the imagery was
Their like always thus making this a enjoyable write.

[Robin]

I feel the concept of birth taking first breath in each stanza , each a insight in our nature . very creative

[Deviant Works]

Absolutely beautiful. I cannot even find words. What can I say about this piece? I cannot pick a favorite line or stanza because I love it all. I cannot leave my advice because none is needed. All I can say it how this poem made me feel and that is simply, "awed". Such inspiring, breathtaking talent. Wonderful write and the message was perfectly clear, understanding and taken to heart.

[mir]

This is a very beautiful piece and well-expressed with smoothly detailed words. I love how you incorporate nature into your emotional feelings from feeling lost in darkness to finding beauty and feeling revived in your heart. GREAT write---I enjoyed this!