Birth

re-write of "What We Haven't Done"

Birth

 

I had listened to the wolves cry

to the dim light of the moon

more then I had listened to the birds sing

as their music sent me dancing in my dreams.

 

I had watched the sun set

more often then I had seen it rise

restlessly raining red, painting the sky.

 

I once saw the world as dead;           

I watched it die more often

then I had looked at a sky and felt alive.

 

I had never seen a bird fly,

but I had watched autumn leaves fall

down halls of wind, disappearing

into tunnels of dim light.

 

My heart had yet to beat with passion,

but I felt detachment from the Earth,

like my feet didn’t belong on the dirt.

 

I was a part of a herd, a cow licking blades

of grass in balding pastures as I saw horses

glide out in the open while I cowardly crouched

and hid beneath the fences of that field.

 

I set sail from the shores of nature,

fleeing to the island of darkness,

but then Earth cast a storm, sinking my ship,

causing me to retreat back to her floor.

I struggled to place my feet upon the sand;

Learning to appreciate each breath I took.

 

My soul then told me-

“Embrace the grace of the grass,

play with the petals that have settled into the soil

for they toiled against storms to glimmer

with natures light, flickering from each beat of its pulse.

It won’t always be here for you to hold dear,

So cling to the flame of the exquisite without shame.”

 

I drew the curtains from my heart.

Time was ticking quickly,

The trees were fleeing right before me.

I wanted to hold onto the world forever

And never forget the tints that glinted

Like the sun against pale snow in a soothing glow.

Reviews

[Zoe Jay]

Wow,this is tremendous. Your writing is always sophisticated and thought provoking. Very interesting subject also - I think many of us find it easier sometimes to embrace the darkness than the light. You have a great clarity of thought to be able to consider this fact, and to express it so well and in such detail. What does it mean for our species, that we have this attraction for darkness, destruction, and things which represent those? Is it ultimately, our fear of death that draws us to sunsets, the howl of the wolf, autumn leaves? For me this poem discusses our inherent morbidity as a species, and also, our inability, in many cases, to connect directly with beauty. Sometimes we have to face that fear, our fear of death, directly, before we can truly appreciate the beauty of the world. Love the content of this poem. It's original, and intellectually challenging. You are one of my favorite writers Cassandra!

I think the cow / horse metaphor is particularly interesting as a representation of humanity, and the most interesting point for me, is that when the horse runs free, gliding in the open, it is usually under the guidance and direction of a human. Nobody rides a cow. I'd have to think about this more, but it's a really unusual and meaningful observation.

Your structure and word choices are gorgeous too. The first four verses, each mirroring and building on the other, are a perfect introduction to the concept. Verses 5 and 6 I see as a sort of "bridge", an awakening, and verses 7, 8 and 9 are a powerful and fully blooming conclusion.

There are so many instances of beautiful writing here, but the dialogued section in Verse 8 ("Embrace the grace.....") is absolutely classic. It is almost, standing alone, a prayer, or a mantra. Immaculately written! :-)

[Sweet & Tender Hooligan]

A very beautiful poem full of beautiful and thought provoking imagery. The 2nd, 3rd and 4th stanzas stand out for me. They are lovely, dark and richly full of imagery.

[White Ink]

Couldn't agree more to Zoe Jones review, This was very beautiful. Congratulations for winning 7th place in "Life has taught me" contest.

[Treo LeGigeo]

so beautiful

[Calypso]

Wonderful

[Machiavelli]

This is crazy it really allows me to feel what you mean

[Julie Beth]

this is very pretty i loved it you did a great job :)

[kaylynnmelody♥]

Great! Loved it! Wonderful Peice!

[Richard Williams]

A wonderful piece on birth, contrasting the what was to the now in the poet's realm of newness, "Embrace the grace of grass" a lucid fine representation of this beautifully worded sculpture.

[Karli]

beautiful piece. details and imagery are absolutely perfect!:) excellent, excellent writing:)