HOW TO PROPERLY IDENTIFY A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS

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How To Properly Identify A Damsel in Distress

 

Why does everyone rush to shield and guard distressed, emotional women?  What aspect of hand-wringing and the oh-so-delicate dabbing of moist eyes pulls out shiny knights in newly polished amours and the circling of the wagons of other women?  WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS?!

This should be the response to the strong women who are struggling--at least once. This should be a strong woman’s reward for walking the last mile, staying to the bitter end, holding her feet to the fire so others don’t get burned.  Strong women have paid their dues, proven their worth, stiffened their upper lips and spines with nothing more than the fact no one else could…or would.  Do you think maybe they would appreciate reclining on the chaise lounge, hanky and smelling salts available at every turn of their slightly bowed heads, delicate features slightly flushed and lips slightly quivering?  Do you think that strong women don’t think about just not getting out of the bed one day-- it’s all jus’ too, too much for them and bless their hearts! Do you think strong women would appreciate not cleaning up cat vomit or dog s**t or throwing away empty packages left in the cupboard--For Just.  One.  Damn.  Day?

The next time you hear a woman matter-of-factly speak of managing the unmanageable, soothing the angry beast (two and four legged), suffering yet another heartache so soon after the last one, describe horrors that would scar you forever - CARRY HER GODDAMN GROCERIES TO HER CAR!!  ASK HER IF SHE NEEDS AIR IN ANY OF HER TIRES!!  BUY A GIFT CERTIFICATE FOR ANY AMOUNT FOR GODDAMN ANYWHERE AND SLIP IT INTO HER PURSE OR HER POCKET OR JUST HAND IT TO HER AND WALK AWAY!! DO SOMETHING…ANY DAMN THING, BECAUSE:

A strong woman properly appreciates the smallest of gestures and the slightest nods of acknowledgement of her abilities.  A strong woman never turns down sincere, practical, and feasible offers of help.  A strong woman could use the smile, however brief or fleeting.  A strong woman could stand the break, however short, to catch her breath, rethink her plan of attack, to write yet another list of s**t that’s gotta get done. 

 

And maybe, just maybe, weak women will have to show up, stand up and be up for the next fight. Practice makes perfect, right?

 

Author's Note

Venting...gotta a lot of that to do.

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

well dahlink! i hope you feel better ;) damsels in need bring the knights out because its what we do ... we dream of coming to the rescue ... winning the day for fair maiden ... the woman you speak of is, in the words of Louise L'Amore's heroes .. "...a woman to swim the river with." ... someone to have a "real" experience with :) i think there is room for both

[Carol Cashes]

But wouldn't the truly deep and sincere appreciation of a tired and weary Queen Bodacia be more befitting (and twice as rewarding!) to all yon honorable knights...who could potentiality become kings...*ahem*

[Carol Cashes]

I was trying to hit the "thumbs up" and I think I accidentally "flagged" the comment...? Not my intention, but phone-replying is for more agile fingers than mine.

[Einstein Noodle]

yes ... expressed appreciation, unfortunately, is lost as years roll by :( we have to make the effort .. to work at being in love as i have read ... maybe it is a wisdom acquired late in life .. when pressures and responsibilities lessen ... for some, again unfortunately, it never comes :(( i know about less agile fingers ... but those feet of yours sure look fine!! are they yours? ;))

[Carol Cashes]

Silly goose! Have I ever given anyone the impression I would post a random picture of someone else's physical attributes?! Real...all day...up in here...

[Einstein Noodle]

:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) such twinkly little toes :)

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Here! Here! Excellent venting my friend. The thing some people should know is that strong women are often afraid to ask for help and more often have a hard time accepting it. But if you just look into their eyes, you will see the heartfelt reflection of any mercy and compassion given. Mercy is a tree that grows in silence, grows strong, and is watered in tears. Your story is a Miz Carol testament to this. Xo

[augustus]

I write a great deal about strong women. Some stronger than others. I also write about strong men! I much prefer the stronger woman who can take on men of all sizes! Thank you. I enjoyed your story.

[Lydia Shutter]

It's the little things that are appreciated. A friend calling to say she is bringing over dinner. Someone smiling at you and giving you a compliment can make a whole day. The weak women are never expected to do anything and the strong ones are expected to do it all...and then some. I feel anger and frustration between the lines of this well written story. I liked it. Lydi**

[Carol Cashes]

It was a total hissy-fit from being over tired, over worked and by God! overlooked by some folks I really expected would be more help. No matter, I spewed out that toxic waste, although I still got the taste of it, and I can move along this conveyor belt to the next phase of this damn-near crippling grief. Imma be all right - because, quite frankly, I don't have the guts to roll around on the floor, wailing and flailing about "I can't! I can't!" Why, my mother would move into the number one spot on that famous "haunt" list she had...

[Lydia Shutter]

Too often people say, "if there is anything I can do, let me know." We hate to ask for something and they never offer anything concrete...like a covered dish so you don't have to cook on top of dealing with your grief. My thoughts go out to you. Strength for you, Carol.

[Ken Simm.]

Its kindness, in my view that is appreciated not sex. Doesn't matter if male or female. Empathy goes a long way. Having said that I'm often not proud of my sex for being unempathic morons.
Help for someone does cheer the world. It should cheer both the giver and reciever. Doesn't always work that neatly , does it?
Good points raised, well written and a superb understanding of human nature. As for knights in shining armour. Never met one. Met some incredible human beings however. Perhaps I'm not looking in the right place.

[Carol Cashes]

Mr. Simm! So nice of you to drop by. I've missed the Cafe so much!

This was pure irrational, somewhat illogical, downright hissy-fit'ness. I'm grieving but I can't get past some 0f my "mad" and get on with the tears/snot phase. I worked some of it out with this piece, though--mostly by backspacing as my fingers re-remember how to type!

Ohh....you'd know a "knight' if ya met one - they tend to be a little self righteous and uppity...but that's just my personal, decidedly slanted and skewed outlook...today, anyway.