THE LAST STRAW

I'm okay, just wondered how that camel felt when he realized it was a tiny, damn near weightless straw that broke its back....and would I see the damn thing coming in time to avoid it.

THE LAST STRAW

 

This last journey, this trail, an infinity loop

Damn!  This load’s heavy �" I feel shoulders droop

Mine, his and their cares now stacked on my back

That’s okay - I got this…I’ve never cracked.

Wait!  Something’s happened.  The load feels all wrong

I’m just tired, I’m fine, I know I’m strong

I always come through…I always see dawn

That’s my job, get it done, I carry on

But now, on my knees, I struggle to stand

I have to do this! My duty demands

Can’t fail, not an option, what would they do?

If I don’t keep going, I’ll be one, not two

And the others?  Who’ll help them?

Fear creeps in, limbs now numb

I’m gasping for air, But what’s that I see?

It floats down slowly, lands next to me

Thin like a needle, Oh, no! it can’t be!

A straw �" light as air! But enough to break me.

 

 

 

Author's Note

Insomnia...as a muse is a little like an acid trip...perspectives get skewed...but somehow you understand it better....

Reviews

[gram linski]

Totally agree with your Author's note and this great poem, you can withstand the world upon your shoulders for so long and just the tiniest thing can destroy the balance, good stuff,

[LitStar]

I like the unorthodox approach for this poem

it really stands out

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, that last straw...we can only carry so much weight on our shoulders....and sometimes taking on others' problems might be the good Samaritan thing to do ....but if we empathize too much and help too many at once.
we wind up on our knees...bursting at the seams.
cleverly written rant here, Carol.
j.

[apennylate]

A wonderfully jilting sense of weight... What breaks us... What can we accommodate... An infinite loop of shoulders dropped to bear what becomes the last straw...

[Rohit Yadav]

Powerful stuff, heart wrenching realisations...

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Yes, yes, yes. Miz Carol you are back-yay! You return with such emotional and eloquent reports from the battlefield- because it is that for you, unquestionably. You speak directly to us in language that resonates with us- the Warriors. Your life has been constant ‘duck and jab’- a prize-fighters’ lot all the way. The tone, style, rhyme and flow of this sounds like the knockout round for one who takes care of Everyone! The straws are the worse though so be on your ‘bestest ‘ guard against them my friend. The down time sneaks in a lethal uppercut if you let it. It stings like a bee. But your sweet vulnerability, loving heart, naked honesty, faith and selflessness will revive you before anybody or anything can ever count you out. Take good care of yourself my dear friend and know that I am always in your corner. Xo

[Cherrie]

Such a power piece. I relate to it on a personal level,
I think the secret is conditioning. Like training for a marathon dig deep and find that next gear to keep going.
And...
if you come up empty hopefully someone you've been carrying with jump right in.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Full of bleary, strained diction as the protagonist struggles to stay afloat but then has to surrender to their own limitations. Nicely done in a weary voice.

[Einstein Noodle]

usually wide awake by 2AM ... sigh! I quite fighting for sleep a long time ago Carol ... I just start me day .. so relatable ... that "...Something's happened. The load feels all wrong" is perfect ... when I get there I am ready and when I read it I am feeling so off balance ...
i think your poem is crafted in a common ground language but it is uniquely yours as well ... i like the positive spots throughout ..the i got this and i can do it and been here befores ...as the protagonist works to talk him/her self into being strong and not giving up ...i think as human beings this lesson is one of the most important as it adds the dimension of Faith into the scheme of our lives ... in your closing i see the straw landed "...next to me" ..not on me ;) an interesting twist to the whole experience ;) great read for me ...memory working overtime as i read "The Last Straw" :) and here i am .... made it!

[Carol Cashes]

Dang! Great review...didn't realize I needed that much validation...not normally a "needy" kinda of person. I've thought about that "straw" a lot these past few weeks as my personal crises are escalating and I am the responsible party for the people that need "stuff" from me. I love them...happy to help...it's my honor and my privilege...and some days - unsaid "..blah, blah, blah. I have begun to monitor my reactions because I know that another damn empty container in a kitchen drawer or cabinet could be a strong contender for the role...

[Einstein Noodle]

i am giving you the official drop the load today card ... i make myself an Irish whiskey hot toddy ...draw the hottest bath i can stand..with lots of bubbles ..add incense, the book i'm reading .. and i close the door ;).................... hugs Carol!

[Cherrie]

A hot toddy, the drink of champions.

[Einstein Noodle]

aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ma chère eeeeeeeee its so comforting ... your companionship :)))))))))))))))))))) peace, joy and big hugs to ya!

[Cherrie]

I must confess even though daddy loved Irish whiskey I'm a Tennessee bourbon girl myself.

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahaha nothing wrong with Southern Bourbon :)

[Chris Shaw]

I too am one that suffers from insomnia, so draining it is and your lines convey the sort of thing which constantly loops in your head when you can't sleep. There is no logic or perspective when you are in that place. Fortunately for me, the straw has yet to break this camel's back. Well conveyed. I am with you here Carol. Good to see you.

Chris

[Carol Cashes]

I learned to quit fighting it, and I have medication to assist me in falling asleep...there are just sometimes that I USE insomnia...I don't let it use me. It's a control thing.....

[Chris Shaw]

I don't fight it either. I find some of my most creative thoughts come alive at this time. Yes, insomnia can have its uses :)

[Carol Cashes]

I think because the majority of people are asleep...it's an urban dwellers version of the remote cabin by the lake...no one is botherin' you....

[Chris Shaw]

True, that is one way of looking at it. I think I'd still prefer the real thing though:)

[Carol Cashes]

Well, yeah...but you gotta work with the materials (so to speak) at hand...I've considered lighting a fire on some of my husband's tools that are comparable to the transmission on the dining room table at the trailer park...I think it would be easy to pretend that's my majestic river rock fireplace...

[Chris Shaw]

:)). You might be tired but your humour is still with you.

[Carol Cashes]

I've heard inmates say that being funny kept them from getting beat up...just honing my craft, just in case.....

[Chris Shaw]

I'm sure a sense of humour has saved the day many a time. Off now for breakfast. Good to chat.