Jus' tryin' to get my Groove back after not writing for so long...
DAY THREE:DOGS, DIRT
AND NAILS
I fell asleep on the love seat and Katrina was in her
favorite position, behind my knees curled up and lookin’ all cute and
s**t.About 4 a.m., I woke up and
thought I was having a heart attack, heavy pressure on my chest and I couldn’t
breathe. That 40 pound dog decided that sleeping on my chest with her nose in
my ear was a more comfortable place to “snuggle”.Folks, I have never had what anyone would
call “bosoms”, so it’s pretty much chest bone, skin and two B-cup bumps:no MawMaw “cushions”.My first thought was “Awwww…she loves her
Mama”, immediately followed by “This fat wart hog is crushing my chest"Jeezus!
I can’t breathe!”I tried not to hurt
her “feelings” and to move her gently to my side…which made a strong argument
that I really need to work on my arm strength.Dear God in Heaven, it was like trying to get out from under a small
car!Finally, got her moved, relieved
the pressure on my chest, and she literally rolled her eyes at me as if to say “What
a wimp!” If she was a human female child of mine, oohhhh…it’d have been on and
poppin’! But…she is a dog, and one I love (never mind the money invested in
adoption fees--$160 per dog!--puppy vet appointments--$300 per visit for
worming and shots, and ordering new halters and collars every two weeks as they
grow while they sleep…aaannnnd that expensive-a*s Hill’s Science Diet that the
Humane Society insisted we feed them when we were fostering them and now that’s
just their food).If someone stole them,
I seriously think I could press grand larceny charges at this point based on
the funds I’ve got invested in those heathen beasts.
Mr. B., in his muttering and puttering yesterday decided
that the top of the dryer and the washing machine was the perfect place to
start his “seeds” before moving them to his little greenhouse.Now, I really shouldn’t complain since I did
not have to participate in that endeavor, however, now I have dirt, wait…let me
qualify that, I have expensive “seeding soil” on the top of my dryer and on the
floor in front of said dryer.Add some
crushed eggshells and I remembered when I first realized that Satan had
invented Legos for parents who spoiled their kids and had a really bad
flashback.Still, I didn’t have to help
him, so I’ll just DustBuster it up and literally suck it up.
Many years ago, I used to do my own nails--tips with
acrylic powder and liquid, file…file…file, apply three coats of polish with two
coats of top coat"good to go for 10 days.Several years back, I decided that I could afford to have them done…I
still can.What I can’t afford is to
drive with the amount of Valium I’d have to take to sit that s**t out now that
I have no patience for sitting with people I don’t know who want to small talk.
*shudder*Sooo…since I’m not working, I
decided that I had the time to do my own acrylics again.Nail product has improved and you can get
Apple scented drops for that overwhelming acrylic liquid smell…however, it’s
been three days and I’m filing…and filing…and have decided that if Mr. B. can
afford all the fancy equipment he needs to brew beer and make homemade sausage,
then I can afford the cab to drive me to the nail salon properly Valium-ed up.Marriage is all about compromise, you know…..
This has been the Biloxi, MS Morning Show, brought to you
by strong coffee, my increasing (Thank God!) desire to just write…regardless of
content, and my refusal to participate in sanctioned group therapy…
love your write Ms. Carol ... glad your back at it ... the offering of three anecdotal life scenes comes from the nitty gritty and made me smile ... your a gem (as all women are) to put up with men who fart and leave dirt everywhere ... especially in the name of brewing ;) sure loved the read ma'am
E.
You could say, your dog had a crush on you.
Sending you money for bigger b***s. So this doesn't happen again in the future. I like how you go from dog, to seeds, to nails. All quite effortlessly.
Don't be hoovering up the cannabis seeds now, they're precious. Good to see you back. Missed the madness.
'.. If someone stole them, I seriously think I could press grand larceny charges at this point based on the funds I’ve got invested in those heathen beasts. '
Okay so I was near off to bed, BUT now have aching ribs cos i've laughed so much!! Where have you bin, missus,missed you and you wickedly wonderful words! And this is no exeption.
How come you can go from fat warm hog and worming.. to 'washing machine was the perfect place to start his “seeds” before moving them to his little greenhouse. Now, I really shouldn’t complain (but you did, just a spit) and then, then, off and away to self-help prospecting for nails a go-go for beauty and.. added to that, ignoring gossiping bounty hunters or other way around.. Your language just tosses and turns giggles to grins to laughter so deep in my belly that.. now, i need read you again.. right to the end of your writing prowess and power - in all probability, to keep me awake with such gorgeously extravagant language, style and all.
The first thing I love about your uninhibited fun rant is the way your personality shines thru with an attractive mix of honesty & loveability. You inject just the right amount of righteous indignation, while keeping things light, & with a liberal dose of exaggeration. Another thing I love is the way you combine these somewhat disparate topics into a purposeful whole . . . some of my prose takes a proper meander, too, so reading you helps me justify my own aging inability to write linearly anymore! *wink! wink!* Good word crafting with "suck it up" . . . (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
I haven't written anything more than work emails that consist of "Attached please find the following.. read moreI haven't written anything more than work emails that consist of "Attached please find the following documents" for about 6 weeks. These little "journal entries" have been the perfect "easing back into" writing.
However, I must declare that the tone of these little pieces is actually me "typing out loud." It's how my brain views things...generally. I have a serious "dark side" evidenced by Labor of Love.
I so appreciate your reading these fumbling attempts at re-entering Café Society. And jus' so's ya know: meandering is a lost art form. Wander at Will, barleygirl.
I'm very cynical, jaded, just this side of bitter and the only reason I haven't crossed that line is a good man loves me. I am extremely empathetic, but seldom sympathetic. I can be a ferociously lo.. more..