Don't Get It Twisted...

My third poem...based on some memories of past loves and how right the current one is.

Don't Get It Twisted...

I’m not your Saviour!

I can only save my own password.

The one that unlocks my heart.

 

You’re not my Saviour!

 

If I need a hero, I’ll wear the cape.

Save myself, slay the dragon, tear the villain apart.

 

I’m not your Saviour!

 

Don’t look to me for answers.

I can only pass my own tests.

 

You’re not my Saviour!

 

I don’t need your cheat sheet.

My answers lie within my chest.

 

I’m not your Saviour!

 

I can’t fix other’s wrongs.

I can only love the damage.

 

You’re not my Saviour!

 

My heart is easy, my mind hard to understand.

Just know if you wrong me…I’ll be a savage.

 

I’m not your Saviour,

You are not mine.

We can join forces

And together combine

Two complete wholes

That make a mighty force

Side by side we'll face all

With strength, honor and no remorse.

Author's Note

You real poets out there will find issues with flow, rhythm, etc. That's okay. This is my version of a love poem...

Reviews

[Rogerh]

A touching love poem indeed.

[Sami Khalil]

I like the self reliance message and taking not the easy recipe for salvation to get us through. Very powerful and worthwhile. Excellent....;)............

[Jon Roggie]

I must admit, I looked at your conversation with Richard. It added a bloody lot of insight. I try to keep myself from saying this.

Just write,
and let the words flow.

[Carol Cashes]

Wow, if you read all that, then you understand the poem, and I use that term loosely as it hardly compares to the talent here at the Cafe. But - I tend to "tell it", straight up, no chaser, so it is in my voice.

[Jon Roggie]

I get away with it by calling it spoken word.

[Barnaby]

I don't know much about poetry but I enjoyed reading that. :-)

[Carol Cashes]

*snort* I'm no poet, either. Never wrote any outside of English class in high school until I joined this site. I'm glad you enjoyed it. It's not as "eloquent" as some of the talent here demonstrate, but then it reads like I speak - straight to the heart of the matter.

[Barnaby]

Hey you can write whatever you like as long as you enjoy it. I've seen some more complex , articulated and pro poetry on here but it wasn't enjoyable....sometimes it's beneficial to read easier on the ears poetry instead of complicated vague things which are hard to make sense of yet are suppose to be the dogs bollocks. A poetry pro understands pro poetry but there ain't many of them about.
It's a good poem, don't underestimate it...I've got worse poetry on here being inept to it more than not myself.
I liked it :+)
Chin up!!!:-)

[rhea]

I love this!!! this is exactly how i wish to envision a relationship..as two wholes joining together.

[Carol Cashes]

Sorry so late responding. Thanks for reading this, and it is a little idealistic, but do-able. I'm lucky to have this relationship at this time in my life.

[Lorry]

A beautiful way of saying we is what we is, flaws and all. Being is fluid, describing how or what we are could bring a million different answers if asked a million times...and we are the ones thst know ourselve
s best, how is anyone else meant to figure us out?
I like your use of saviour, why does everyone have a hero complex about saving us? I'm safe enough thanks.
Enjoyed the read, thanks.

[Carol Cashes]

It was actually inspired by some the the poetry here that waxes so eloquently about empty souls and hearts broken never to be mended and I was all like AAAHHH!!! So damn sad! I hoped, I think, to offer the lovelorn an alternative? Your remarks about being fluid are spot on! I am a different person every day, depending on who I need to be first, and who's gonna cross my path, second. It's unrealistic to expect someone to know who they're talkin' to without some clues or flash cards...or something!

[Richard🖌]

The technique you've employed in saying you and your other are not each other's saviors is well established and driven home by well-placed, thought-out repeats (I was thinking saviour is a misspelling, but it suppose it is an alternative to the more oft used savior).
Hardcore awakening to your version of love makes sense, read 'em the right act, but love rarely does make sense, bending to whatever the heart most feels and needs, and love is such an individualistic thing between two individuals that it tends to grow and fit their needs who best harmonize and flow one into the other, and dividing lines aren't always easily, or are even possibly, defined.
That which works perfectly for one couple in the real world, may be disastrous for another, blah-blah-blah!
Compassion and empathy play a huge part in most couples' relationship, and most dyed-in-the-wool independent-minded individuals struggle alone, some for years, trying to find that perfect soulmate, feeling the emptiness within, knowing something (primal?) is missing, something lacking in their being that only the "right one" can fulfill, and as idealistic and fairytale-ish as this might sound, life seems to prove its validity.
How can one argue with the logic in your treatise to orderly, independent love? It's as though you might not really "need" your mate, nor, do you want to be "needed", and only under certain criteria will they be accepted, and if this works for you and your mate, so much the better.
I know no one (not saying they don't exist) who is that infallible, or not to the point you ascribe, who is genuinely whole, unless they've convinced themselves they really don't need anyone to lean on in times of need, or won't allow anyone to lean on them.
In my mind's-eye, that kind of love is a bit too set, regimented, and conditional for me, not nearly soft enough to meld with and bond together, as I believe we are meant to, as scary as it might seem to trust anyone enough to give all of oneself over to them, but (to me) true love has no boundary, no conditions, no percentages each gives unto it … it is my contention that the more one dedicates themselves to anything, the more chance of it working, than to hold back; especially, in the realm of love, soulmate relationships, and affection.
Having said all that, I wish I really knew what love is … LOL!
Your poetical prowess is really showing in the rhymes of your last eight lines and every second line of your couplets, and I dearly "love" it!

Shows real promise, Carol … hugs! ⁓ Richard : )

[Carol Cashes]

You are correct that love rarely makes sense. But I found love, real love a third time, in my 40's and had (have) a more pragmatic and practical approach. However, do not let this statement mislead or lead you to think that this thumpin' gizzard that resides in the location that a real heart would reside indicate that I do not have the soul of a romantic. It takes a different form.

My first marriage was in my early 20's. I loved him to distraction, but once our son was born, he had no interest, nor the inclination to be a true father and husband to the mother of his child, and I cut those ties. I don't regret any of my great loves, and my son would not be the person he is without that man's DNA. I regret nothing, mainly because I learned that I was good at being married, and all that that entailed and was eager (age 26) to find love again.

My second husband and I were married in excess of 14 years, and I loved him passionately. While he was often angry at the world and its infuriating inhabitants and situations, it was never directed at me. When he developed serious heart issues and was no longer a "man" as defined by his distorted macho outlook, he became angry. He was no longer able to work, and I was the sole income. Upon his diagnosis of diabetes, he became angrier, and as I was his world due to his being homebound, this anger and rage turned to the warm body - me. For a 3-month period, his anger toward me escalated and became physical. I am not of the mindset that he attempted to foster: that I'm worthless (who's payin' the bills, asshat!), and that I was a useless waste of female flesh (funny, that female flesh was your sole desire up until you lost your damn mind!). I never bought into his typical abuser's hype, but he was ill, and I believe marriage is to the bitter end, usually death. Only when the physical abuse escalated and he made one (and only one!) attempt on my life, did I leave. If you read The Terrorist, it is an accurate accounting of the day I left.

I was 41, and began life with a purse and some phenomenal black jeans and cowboy boots. I never went back for my things and I decided it as time to return to my roots. I left Reno, NV and took a Greyhound bus to Biloxi, MS and started over.

When I met my third, and, hopefully, final husband, I would not engage in discussions about exes until we had known each other for a period of months. I refused to begin a relationship based on a mutual pity party. I wanted common interests and chemical/physical attraction to be the primary reason we pursued a relationship. This was the right thing to do, and our relationship is stronger for it.

I had already proved to myself that I had "staying" power, and that I was good at being married and was able to persuade (*smirk*) him that I was the catch and worth his affections.

We have been married almost 19 years, and are happy.

This man loves me for my thorns, not in spite of. The pressure of being "my reason for living" has freed him to love me without reservation and fear. This holds true for myself, as well.

So you see, dear Richard, while I'm not your "typical" romantic, I do have the heart of a lover, but even better, I have the heart, strength and stamina required to be a wife - and all that that should mean.

Of course, I will devastated should something happen to him before I die. I love him without reservation or fear, as he loves me, and at age 61, it is doubtful that I will marry again. But understand, I do not rule it out. Nor does he. Again, the lack of "pressure" that comes with being another's sole reason for living makes the love easier to give and without that fear/reservation.

Whew! Early in the morning for this lengthy discourse on my opinions about love, but then, maybe others needed clarification about the person I am, as well, and this should serve to explain the origin of this piece. I fully recognize that it is a clumsy attempt to portray my beliefs, but I am only beginning to understand the language of poetry, being primarily a story teller, and will improve with the guidance and help that thus far I've encountered here at the Cafe.

I have to begin my work week, now, but was compelled to respond. I fully acknowledge that there are those who love and whose love is returned that is co-dependent in a good way. I don't wish for that, I prefer to remain a separate entity and want to love another who is strong in mind and spirit and whose love comes from a desire to partner with me to face this confusing, frightening, and ever changing world.

This works for us. It is not the answer for all, and shouldn't be.

Please, never temper your reviews/responses in fear that I will be offended. Patronizing me will only elicit my wrath! I am not one to be mollycoddled, as so eloquently stated by Norman123.

I hope this helps to explain the origin and intent of this piece. Again, I fully grasp how clumsy it is, but, I'm learning.

Much affection to you,

Miz Carol

[Richard🖌]

Well, Dear Carol,
I truly and dearly love your story, not all that happened, but the wonderful things about you and how it's turned out for you … makes going through it all get to where you are (as devastating as it was) so much more worthwhile and treasured, I'd imagine.
My heart went out to you in every step along the way, and it sings and dances for the beauty of your happiness now.
You've gone through a lot, and that have formed and tempered the kind of love and relationship that works for you and your hubby … so few ever find the golden key to each other's love and trust. I am sooo jealous … LOL!
Whatever you read in my reviews is the real me, and when I've discerned anything worthwhile saying (to my mind's-eye) to someone worth saying it to, you can bet it will be said in my own way, which has not always set well with others, but like you, I am true to myself when being open and candid, and as thoughtful as possible to others as I know how to be, as-well, and still get the point(s) across.
So, with me, as with you, what you see is what I am and what you get! 😊
I knew instantly I would like you (a lot), and even more than I thought.
Thank you for sharing You, Carol … it is both a pleasure and an beautiful honor.

Thank you sincerely, too, for your warming affection, and here's mine to make it glow even brighter … hugs! ⁓ Richard : )

[George Coombs]

A strongly felt poem with repition of 'Your not my saviour" making it really work for me. The concluding eight lines bring it together so well especially the final two lines. Excellent thought provoking writing

[Carol Cashes]

Thanks for reading and the generous review. I have always felt that putting too much of your happiness on another is unfair - to both parties.

[George Coombs]

Your welcome and yes, I see your point

[Najam Us Saher]

Loved the repitition of the line You're not my saviour. Strong feelings were creatively expressed.

[Carol Cashes]

Thank you for reading and the good review. I feel strongly about the subject matter.

[Najam Us Saher]

You're welcome.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Carol Cashes,
"Don't get it twisted" was a introspective look at what a relationship can be and what is wanted. The title says it all.
We people ofttimes have such high expectations of others and want to be saved and second guessed by our significant other. I am incapable of reading anyone's mind!
The line, "Two complete wholes" (last stanza) is very self explanatory. Love is a responsibility and not to be taken lightly.
Thanks for a much needed interpretation of this subject of love.
Kathy

[Carol Cashes]

Thank you so much for reading this. I just one day decided that some people do expect to be "saved" by love, when that's not really how it's supposed to go.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Carol Cashes,
You got that right. To a degree love does save us but we must as your context so truthfully intimated; It is about giving and growing.
Love hearing from you.
Kathy