Feels Like Madness

I wrote this a good few months ago and even though what I'm expressing in it no longer stands, I'm quite proud of it.

Her perfume has me under
Like an intoxicating dream
Hidden under a veil of stars,
That has me high on the scent

Her eyes have me lost
Like a deer in the headlights
The colour of leaves in Autumn time,
They bring along a tide of change

Her voice has me in a trance
Enchanted, I'm under her spell
Forget your sight and carefully listen
To the sound of where beauty dwells

She has me tongue tied
A language of silence and thoughts
I want to express yet can't quite
Muster up the ability of speech

She has me day-dreaming
Betwixt the distance lies
That of our shattered hopes
Can't they be mended?

She has me watching clocks
To replace the time that's been lost
A hand spinning, dizzy
Week upon week
Blurring out our finish line

She has me speaking in tongues
Clichés and metaphors
To spell out the meaning of sentences spoken
In bright hopes of their dark desires:

I'm glad of your existence
I hope that you're glad of mine too.

Author's Note

Please let me know what you think...

Reviews

[Tai Ryens]

The subtle acknowledgements and suggestions of both the bad and good that this person inspires within you are truly immersing and they all portray the one thing she truly has over you: control. You're right to say it feels like madness because it truly reads like so; you've truly portrayed your feelings well.

[caseymichelle31]

That is EXACTLY what I was going for. I'm so glad you got it. Thanks!

[Aoife Kelly]

It feels like somewhere between love and dependancy.Sometimes the language fluxuation and rythem isn't just right.Still the feeling shines through.

[Stefanie Holmes]

I think this piece had a great balance between the positives and negatives of the person being described. It really points out the fact that no one is perfect, but in their own skin they can be 'perfect' for someone. I thought this was well done!

~Stefanie