The Aftermath of Extreme Anger

This is a follow up to my last poem. I wrote it pretty fast so obviously it's not perfect but I gave it my best shot. It just goes to show the power that people have over our emotions!

There I was alone

In my mind

Drowning

In tsunami tides

But I can't swim

When I'm in my mind

The clouds surround

My breathing, impaired

The telly roared

But I'm unable to hear it

I cannot hear

When I'm in my mind

And I miss you

More than a parent or a child

How can that be?

It only lasted eight weeks

There is a distant clock,

It ticks, it tocks

But time makes no sense

When I'm in my mind

Was I screaming?

At nothing again?

I can't feel anything

But my mind

You may ask what can I do

When I reside there.

Well I can't eat, drink or sleep

But crying works

Well not for long...

The tides will rise

No buoy to hold.

I sink

Underwater

Drowning

Once again.

I hear a noise...

Wait, I can hear?

Her name lights up

And so do I

I read aloud

The clouds are gone

The tsunami is over

The calm begins

What can't I do in my mind?

I can fly, and dance and sing!

And I can smile.

Author's Note

Tell me what you think. Constructive criticism is appreaciated!

Reviews

[Tai Ryens]

I recognize the feeling quite well: drowning amidst air and the routine of life. A dark moment in life in which you suffer through the day, can hear the tick tock of every clock as the seconds pass, noting how unbearably slow the days progress and the inability to do a thing. You ended with a smile, though, unexpected, for I suspected darker aspects . . . But alas, 'tis just a part of me.
This truly is the aftermath of a destructive emotion, well done.

[caseymichelle31]

Yes that's exactly what I'm talking about here. I always intended to end it on a positive note as this is the follow to 'The Aftermath of Extreme Joy' which ends on a fairly depressing note. They are opposites of each other and so this with the title anger ends in joy and vice versa, in a way. Thanks so much for the review, I expected way more criticism since writing poetry isn't something I have too much experience in so thanks :)

[Tai Ryens]

You've done well, and I believe most of us expect the worst to come off of our own doings; certainly you've a lot of potential in yourself, and I recognize it. I look forward to reading more.

[N.A.]

:) inspiring. I like it. Strangely enough this lifted my spirits a bit. Sometes poems do that to you, make you smile. Nice work.

[Tina Louise UK]

Ah the ups and downs of young love, I remember these feelings...well penned hun :) x

[caseymichelle31]

Thank you very much :)