I Looked Everywhere

I looked everywhere...but I didn't see you

No matter where I went

You still weren't there

I called out your name

I screamed your name

I asked for help

I begged

I cried

I died

You lied

I went insane

You weren't there

I tore myself apart

I looked everywhere

Because I believed in you

And I will never look for you again

You've done more damage than good

I hate you so much, I can not express it

 

Reviews

[J.K. (Not Rowling)]

Wow. If one word can sum up what I just read, it's "Wow." For starters, your poem is visually captivating... I wanted to read this isthmus, this hourglass. Your topic speaks of a major personal loss, also captivating. I don't know if you intended it to be read this way, but after I read it a couple times, I read the first line then last, second line then second-to-last, and so on... and it's still phenominal. If you haven't tried it, you should. I really enjoyed reading this, I just hope that you didn't have to base this poem on personal experience. (Oh, and I just noticed, if you look at it sideways, it looks like something took a bite out of your poem... that also works with your topic... it's missing something too)

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

loved the last several lines.
great feeling here
thanks for entry into my competition
sorry for late judging.